Somebody That I Used to Know
by AliceSwan127
Summary: This is my first attempt for fan fiction. This is a love story between Emily and Hanna that begins in S2E6 with flash backs to the month Alison disappeared. Rated M for select chapters only.
1. Chapter 1

Hanna's POV

It was the night of the fashion show and I was on edge. Something felt off about the night, like something bad was going to happen, I just wasn't quite sure what. Maybe it was just the creepy feeling I kept getting when one of us put on one of Alison's dresses, knowing that she was the last person to ever try them on. Or maybe it was the feeling in the pit of my stomach that I've been trying to ignore but only seems gets worse every time I see her.

A Year and a Half Earlier...

_Emily and I had been friends since we were in middle school. But after our best friend Alison's disappearance, we were all a mess, Emily took it the hardest. There would be entire days that she wouldn't leave her room or even stop crying. It broke my heart to see her that way. I didn't understand at the time why she was more broken up about it than the rest of us. I even felt guilty that maybe I wasn't mourning the loss of Alison enough. In an attempt to appease my own guilt, I made it my mission to be there for Emily and pull her through it. At first it was just holding her while she cried, bringing her food and forcing her to eat, making her shower and go to school._

_Throughout the next several weeks, we were inseparable and became closer than we ever had been, even distancing ourselves from everyone else. Soon after Ali went missing, Aria's family ended up moving to Iceland for her dad's sabbatical, and Spencer buried herself in school, work, sports, and volunteering to keep herself so busy that she didn't have time to feel. Emily and I did everything together and for the first time in my life I felt truly needed by someone. She needed me in her life and I vowed to never let her down. _

_At the end of September was Emily's birthday, and while she was still in a dark place, I wanted to do something special for her. It was just going to be the two of us, as it had been since right after Ali's disappearance, but that's the way we preferred it. No one else understood Emily the way I did and no one needed me more than she did. _

_I planned a weekend away for us in the Poconos. Normally our parents wouldn't have liked us going away for the whole weekend, without proper supervision, but Mrs. Fields was hoping that maybe getting away would help Emily grieve and return to her former self, and my mom was on a business trip, so what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her. _


	2. Chapter 2

Hanna's POV

_The Pocono Mountains were perfect for active people, like Emily used to be, and very remote. I knew Emily wouldn't want to have to pretend to be happy or even okay around big groups of people like she would if we had gone to Philadelphia or New York. Here she can just be herself with me and we can have fun, like we used to. _

_Friday morning I picked Emily up for school and helped her get her bags in the car. On the way to school I realized she wasn't quite as comfortable with me as she normally was. When I asked her what was wrong, she just said that she was anxious about being away for the weekend and frustrated that I still wouldn't tell her where we were going. When she begged me for the 100__th__ time that morning to tell her where we were going, I was close to caving. She knew how to give the cutest puppy dog eyes when she wanted something, especially from me. Every time she gave me that look a part of me melted inside. I would have given her my right kidney if she asked me like that. _

_Instead of giving in though, I made a sudden U-turn just before arriving at school. It was still the beginning of the school year and we didn't have any exams coming up, so I didn't think there was much harm is skipping. After all, it was only one day and it's not like Emily was showing up to swim practice and needed good attendance for her eligibility. While I knew she would nervous that her parents would find out that we ditched, she would be secretly much happier to be spending the whole day with me on a mystery road trip. _

_It took about two hours to get up to the Poconos, which Emily must not have ever been before because she still couldn't guess it until we pulled into the rental office. After quickly looking for my fake id, I left Emily in the car and went in to get the keys. The lady behind the counter gave me a knowing look, but let me rent the cabin anyway. She knew I wasn't 21, but the fake ids Ali got for us last year were top of the line, so she couldn't exactly prove it. _

_After getting the keys and signing my credit card slip, I got back in the car with Emily and followed the GPS through the mountains until we finally arrived at our cabin. We were the last cabin at the end of a long winding road up the mountain. It was very secluded, just like I knew she would want. We quickly unloaded our bags from the car and hurried towards the cabin to start exploring our new home for the weekend. _

_After opening the door, we were both in awe of the beauty and size of this seemingly small cabin. From the outside, it looked like a small two-story house that would be quaint and cozy, but once you're inside, you can tell that the house extends all the way to the other side of the mountain ridge giving it ample space and amazing views. It had four large bedrooms all with amazing en-suite bathrooms, huge kitchen, living room, game room, and a pool/hot tub/bbq area outside. _

_After exploring each room, we picked out our bedrooms and dropped off our bags. Choosing our own rooms was more of a formality since we both knew that, like most nights, we would end up sleeping together while I held Emily as she cried herself to sleep. After setting in our separate rooms for a few minutes, we both met up in the expansive kitchen. Since we had skipped school and it was now lunch time, we were both pretty hungry. Thankfully I had arranged to have the fridge fully stocked in advance and thanks to my fake id, it also had plenty of wine, champagne, and alcohol. _

_Without even asking Emily what she was the mood for, I grabbed some eggs and vegetables from the fridge. I knew that Emily's favorite meal of the day was breakfast and she loved omelets. While it was a commonly known fact that I was a terrible cook, I had gotten more practice over the last few weeks trying to make anything and everything I thought Emily would eat. It had taken a while before she really started eating again, but the last few days she has started having more of an appetite, which both her mother and I are hoping is a sign that she's getting better. _

_Once Emily realized what I was making, she wasted no time in locating the orange juice and champagne to make us mimosas. _

_"Well since we are here for my birthday, we might as well start celebrating now" Emily stated as she skillfully opened the bottle of champagne._

_As she spoke, a genuine smile crossed over her face warming my heart. I may have stared a little too long at her smile, trying to bask in her happiness that had been missing for so many weeks, because her smile soon faded. I could see the apprehension in her face as she bit her lip and looked back at me curiously. Rather than commenting and pointing out that she seemed happy, I gave her a quick signature 'Hanna Marin' pearly white smile and focused my attention on the omelets. _

_There was something so vulnerable in the look that she gave me that rocked me to my core. I've seen Emily at her lowest point but I've never seen her look at me as open as she did in that brief moment. That look and her smile did something to me that I couldn't explain and wasn't sure if I wanted to. _

_Once the omelets were done, we took our food, drinks, and the rest of the bottle of champagne outside to the deck. The house had a huge wrap-deck on the first floor with amazing unobstructed views of the mountains. _

_Emily must have been hungrier than usual. She barely spoke while she quickly scarfed down the eggs and chomped on the whole wheat toast. She was eating so fast at one point that she almost choked and had to chug her whole glass of champagne just to get her food down. While this was odd behavior for her, I was just happy that she was eating again without coercion or bribery, so I let it go and didn't say anything. To be honest, I was thankful for the silence, because I couldn't get that look or that fluttery feeling out of my mind. I was afraid that if she spoke or looked at me again, I would fall apart right there in front of her. _

_After lunch we quickly cleaned up and got changed into our bathing suits and headed out to the pool. Emily has always loved the water and her eyes lit up when she saw we had our own private infinity pool. I was much more interested in the hot tub than the pool, but it was late September and the weather was still nice, so the it wasn't too cold. The pool was huge with a swim-up bar, which Emily stocked with champagne from the kitchen, built in sunning chairs, and was close to Olympic size. Emily, a born swimmer, began swimming easy laps while I poured myself another glass of champagne, relaxed one the pool chairs, and watched her glide beautifully through the water. _

_As I drank more I began to see Emily differently. I started noticing how the sun dances across her wet skin, how her thick beautiful hair flows behind her in the water, how I can see her passion in each stroke, and how complete I feel by just looking at her. While the first few thoughts were normal for any girl to notice about a friend, the last once made me the most anxious. Emily did make me feel complete, in a way that I never thought possible. In a way that love stories talk about soul mates, a perfect counterpoint in another, that's how I felt about Emily. But Emily was my best friend who I've known for years. I had never thought about her in this way before and quickly convinced myself that it was just a combination of the alcohol, romantic setting, and loneliness. _

_After all, I've been in love with Sean for years, although he barely noticed I even existed until recently. Despite his slow advances, I knew that he was the one I wanted, and that I was probably just confusing the pain of unrequited love with the love and comfort of a best friend. That had to be it, right?_


	3. Chapter 3

Emily's POV

_Ever since Ali I have been a mess. I knew that I shouldn't let it show how heartbroken I was because the other girls might become suspicious, but I couldn't help it. I was in love with her and at times I thought she might have even loved me back. But a few days before her disappearance, she made it perfectly clear that we would never be more than friends. That's the real day my heart broke, I just did a better job hiding it from the others then. Once she was gone and I knew I would never get another chance to convince her to be with me, I broke down completely._

_September was the hardest month of my life without Ali; and then to slowly lose Spencer to her ambition and Aria to Iceland. The only bright spot in my life was Hanna. While Hanna and I had always been close, we grew closer in a way I had never expected. Hanna and I had always felt connected because she felt like an outcast in our group because of her weight and I felt like an outcast because of my biggest secret. _

_I've still never told her my secret about loving Ali or being interested in girls. I was too scared of how she would react. Especially after how great she was with me these past few weeks. She was there for me when no one else was. She didn't force me to talk about it, she just sat with me, holding me while I cried. She let me mourn; only forcing me to do the things she knew were necessary, like sleeping, eating, and trying to go to school. She never tried to force me too hard though, she could tell when I just couldn't do something and would accept it and me regardless of how broken I was. _

_Now here it was weeks later, and she has planned a surprise for my birthday. To be honest, I didn't really want to do anything, but I could tell she was so excited about the weekend away that I went along with it. Her excitement was contagious and as much as I tried to fight it, I was very curious where she was taking me. When she picked me up for school the Friday before my birthday I had packed according to her vague instructions and was pretty nervous. I knew Hanna loved shopping and New York City, so that's where I guessed she would take me. She wanted me to have fun, but I really didn't want to go anywhere crowded where I would have to deal with other people, so I was nervous and just wanted her to tell me so I wouldn't be stressing about it all day. _

_After about ten minutes of begging her to tell me, she practically jumped the median right in front of our school. She decided that we were going to ditch and begin our road trip now. I couldn't have been happier to hear that because I knew it was going to be a bad day at school stressing about the weekend. _

_When we got on the highway, we skipped all the exits for NYC and some relief washed over me. We drove for about two hours and I had no idea where we were. We finally pulled up to a building that read "PoconoMountain Resort Rentals" and Hanna quickly exited the car and hurried in. After a few minutes she climbed back in the car with a huge smile on her face, plugged a new address into the GPS, and pulled back out onto the mountain road. _

_Seeing Hanna so excited warmed my heart. I was still in a dark place after Ali's disappearance and I knew that Hanna had put up with a lot from me which had to be weighing down on her. But every time I see her smile or light up, I know that she's still the same fun carefree girl I've always known and loved._

_We pulled up to a house that Hanna kept calling a "cabin". I could tell by how it was positioned on the mountain ridge that it was much more than a tiny cabin, but when we opened the door, my jaw dropped at the beauty. I didn't know if Hanna had seen pictures in advance or not, but based on her loud gasp, I'm guessing she wasn't expecting something quite this amazing either._

_The house had beautiful wood detailing with a huge stone fireplace, state-of-the-art kitchen, beautifully decorated bedrooms, and an amazing outdoor pool area. As I explored the house more and made my way to the kitchen to meet Hanna, I was surprised to find that even with a house this big and grand, it still felt cozy and could even be romantic with the right person. _

_With my thoughts drifting to romance, I felt my heart ache at the thought of Ali. She was the only person I've ever been in love with and she's gone. I felt myself start to go into that dark place until I saw Hanna standing in the kitchen, looking through the fridge. She pulled out a carton of eggs and assorted vegetables and I knew immediately what she was going to make. She always knew what I wanted before I even had to say it and knew exactly what to do to make me feel better. This was no exception. Seeing her work so hard to make an omelet, which are pretty easy to cook unless you're Hanna, just because she knows that I like them, meant to the world to me. Any previous thoughts of Ali or heartbreak faded instantly. _

_When she had closed the fridge to get started on lunch, I noticed a bottle of champagne and figured what better way to kick off the weekend than with some bubbly. I announced to Hanna that it was time to celebrate my birthday and she just stared back at me. Not in a confused or disapproving way, she just looked into my heart. We stood there for several seconds just gazing at each other until I started to get uncomfortable. Hanna's ability to see my soul even when I was trying to hide it from myself always gave me butterflies._

_After Ali's disappearance, Hanna provoked those feelings in me more often than I would like to admit. I tried convincing myself that it was just Hanna's resemblance to Ali mixed with how kind and loving she is that had me confused. I didn't have feelings for Hanna, I couldn't. She was my world and I would not lose her the way that I lost Ali. I needed to ignore how beautiful and amazing she was, because I vowed to never have feelings for a friend again, it only ends in disaster and I couldn't risk that with Hanna. _

_Thankfully after a few more seconds of awkwardness, Hanna smiled brightly and turned away to concentrate on making us lunch. _

_We were both quiet while we ate lunch on the patio. I was hungrier than usual but also thankful for the food as a distraction from the thoughts reeling through my head. I was so consumed with trying not to notice how sexy Hanna looked while eating, without even trying, that I choked on a bite of toast and had to chug my mimosa to get it down. While the drink helped alleviate the choking, I knew that since I was on my third glass already, I should slow down so I don't do something I regret. _

_After lunch we both quickly changed and headed out to the pool. Hanna wanted to relax, sunbathe, and drink champagne. I however knew I should avoid having another drink and suddenly had far too much pent up energy, so I decided to swim laps. The pool was large and I glided easily through the water. Swimming always helped me clear my head and put things in perspective, so I was going to swim until I too exhausted to continue. _

_Just before I was going to stop swimming I noticed during one of my breaths that Hanna was watching me. She wasn't watching me in a curious, 'I can't believe she's choosing to work-out on our vacation away' way, she seemed captivated by me. I kept swimming just a little longer to see how long she would continue to stare. I could only see her every other length of the pool because I only breathe from my right side. As I swam the next length back, I took extra breaths just to get a glimpse of her. She was sitting in the sun, resting on one of the built-in pool chairs with a glass of champagne in her hand. If I didn't know better, I could've sworn the look in her eyes was a combination of lust and love. _

_After thinking this, I quickly stopped swimming. I knew that couldn't have been what she was thinking and if it was, it wasn't directed at me. Hanna had been crushing on Sean since the 6__th__ grade and after Ali disappeared, I had noticed that he started paying a little more attention to her. Part of it too could have been Hanna's recent weight-loss and mini-makeover that her mom thought would help get her mind off of Ali's disappearance. While Hanna's new hair and makeup definitely got her noticed by others at school, I always knew she was beautiful. Clothes and hair don't change who a person is underneath. I was happy for her though, because it seemed to be working to get the attention that she wanted. I want her to be happy. She deserves it more than anyone I know. A part of deep down just wished that it could be me making her happy. _

_Shaking those thoughts from my brain, I swam over to her and sat on the chair next to her. She handed me a full glass of champagne and a pair of sunglasses. We spent the rest of the day lounging around in the pool, listening to music on the pool speakers, laughing, and drinking, perhaps a little too much. _

_By dinner time we were both a little too tipsy too cook something from scratch. Thankfully Hanna had thought ahead and pulled out a frozen pizza and pre-heated the oven while I headed upstairs to shower. Being exhausted from my earlier workout and tipsy from the many bottles of champagne we finished, I stripped down and got straight in the shower without grabbing clothes or a towel on my way in. _

_The warm water felt amazing as it came down on my aching muscles. I stood there for a few minutes just letting the water surround me and ease my mind. I was still stressed out about realizing that somewhere along the lines I had developed feelings for Hanna, despite my best attempts not to. The more I thought about my feelings, the more I thought about her and the longing I felt. I thought back to how she looked at me in the pool and how beautiful she was inside and out, and I it wasn't long before I began feeling that familiar throbbing between my legs. _

_I knew that it was going to be a long weekend with Hanna and that I couldn't be this wound up the whole time or I would slip up, especially if more drinking was involved. Knowing what I needed to do, I slowly slid my right hand between my legs to my aching center. I felt how wet I was from thinking about her and let out a moan, just before hearing a crashing sound and Hanna mutter "Shit!" under her breath._


	4. Chapter 4

Hanna's POV

_After Emily's work-out she slowly swam over and sat down next to me. She had a tentative smirk on her face that I couldn't quite read. I panicked momentarily but then realized there was no way she could possibly know that I had been watching her or how my body was reacting to being this close to her. Or at least I hoped she didn't know. To ease my anxiety, I quickly poured her another drink and handed her an extra pair of sunglasses. We sat quietly for a few minutes before the silence became deafening. I reached for the pool control panel to put on some music in an attempt to distract myself. _

_The music was low and just soothing enough to lull me to sleep. While normally I would have welcomed a nap to get my mind off of things, it only made things worse. My dreams were lucid and confusing, but all had the same common theme, Emily. I woke up agitated, hungry, and slightly turned on several hours later. _

_Since hunger was the easiest one to fix, I suggested that we go inside and make some dinner. My cooking skills are limited to omelets and other easy meals, so I had pre-ordered some simple drunk food, like frozen pizza, for an occasion just like this. As I pre-heated the oven, I heard Emily head upstairs towards the bedrooms. A few minutes later the oven beeped and I put the pizza in. Knowing I had 20 minutes, I figured I had just enough time to take a quick shower and change into pajamas. _

_As I was heading upstairs I could hear the water running but was so distracted with the developments of the day that I wasn't really paying attention. I walked straight into my room, grabbed clothes and shower stuff out of my bag. As soon as I walk in the bathroom I realize that Emily was in my shower, and completely naked. The bathroom was a long straight room with the clear glass shower at the end. _

_I was frozen in place watching her. The steam had risen up so that I couldn't see everything but I could make out enough that I was completely transfixed on her. I stood there for several minutes, just watching her under the spray of the water, making no attempts to wash her hair or body. The motion she made next is one that I knew I would never forget. I could see her lift her long beautiful brown leg up onto the bench built into the shower, and then glide her hand directly between her legs. As she touched herself she let out a soft moan and my knees went weak. I dropped all my shower stuff out of my hands onto the marble floor and muttered under my breath hoping she was too distracted to hear the commotion. _

_As I collected my belongings off the floor, I looked up at her staring back at me through the shower door. I could see that her cheeks were flushed, probably from the hot water and embarrassment of being caught, but she didn't break eye contact. Now that she was turned to me, I took a minute to take in the beauty of her naked body. I still couldn't see the details but I could take in the curve of hips and the swell of her breasts. _

_Suddenly, and as if out of my own power, I felt myself walking towards her. I took each step slowly, and while it would be easy to say it was out of hesitation, I think it was more about giving her time to stop me. _

_Just before reaching the shower, I stood only a few feet from her, looked her straight in the eyes, looking for any sign of fear. I could tell she was nervous and maybe a little confused, but not afraid. In the only moment I was losing my nerve she smiled at me. It wasn't a huge smile, more of a half-smile. It was just enough to encourage me but not add any pressure. It was all I needed to act. I quickly dropped my beach towel, stripped off my bathing suit, and opened the shower door. _


	5. Chapter 5

Emily's POV

_Oh my god! Suddenly realizing that the bedroom that I had picked was on the left side of the hallway, not the right, meaning I was now in Hanna's shower and Hanna may have just caught me touching myself. Turning towards Hanna, I could feel the embarrassment rise up my neck to my cheeks. As I caught her eye though, she didn't look shocked. For a minute she even looked embarrassed, making me wonder how long she had been standing there watching me. _

_We stared at each for what felt like an eternity, she only broke contact once to let her eyes roam over my body. While I know that because of swimming I have a good body, it's still pretty nerve racking to have someone eye you up and down like that. The only thing that made it bearable was the look in her eyes of appreciation and desire. Just as quickly as I realized that she was looking at me in that way, I saw her take a step forward. She walked excruciatingly slow towards the shower at the end of the long bathroom. Finally she was right in front of the shower door and stopped. It appeared as if she was waiting for encouragement or maybe silently asking permission. _

_My head was racing and I couldn't believe this was happening. I wanted to pinch myself to see if maybe I had fallen asleep by the pool and this was just a cruel dream that was going to leave me unsatisfied and frustrated. Pushing those fears aside, I gave her a small smile. I was hoping that it wasn't too big of a smile revealing how excited I was at her nearness or too small to discourage her sudden boldness. _

_It must have done the trick because through the steamy shower door I saw her drop her towel, untie her bikini top teasingly slow, and shimmy out of her bottoms. Just as I thought this was too good to be true, she reached for the shower door and stepped in. _

_As she entered the large shower, the polite thing to do would be to step back to make room, but I was frozen in place. In order to close the shower door, she had to step around me, making contact with my naked hip, causing shivers up and down my body. Just then it occurred to me that Hanna was small enough that she could have easily stepped around me, but instead chose to touch me. I wasn't sure what I should do next and felt like my legs were cemented into the shower floor. I was still facing out the glass door and then suddenly I felt her arms slink around my waist from behind, gasping at the sensation of her body fully pressed into the back of mine. _

_I felt myself instantly relax into her touch as she placed small kisses on my shoulders. At this point I knew there was no turning back and that everything had already changed, so I might as well go with it. I move my arms to loosen her grip around me enough that I can turn around. Looking down into her beautiful blue eyes, I noticed they were lidded with desire and darker than normal. Seeing how much this was affecting her too gave me the courage I needed to lean down and kiss her._


	6. Chapter 6

Hanna's POV

_ Standing in the shower, pressed against Emily's naked body, was the most I think that I had ever felt alive. I had never wanted someone as much as I wanted in her that moment and I wasn't sure if I ever would again. After a few minutes of holding her a placing butterfly kisses on her shoulders and back, I felt her loosen my arms and turn around. She looked right into my heart with those soulful but scared brown eyes. Just as I began to fear that I pushed things too far, I felt her lips press against mine. _

_Her lips were warm and soft, much like I had imagined, but even better than I could have guessed. They moved tentatively at first, gauging my reaction, but I returned the kiss and deepened it further. Soon I felt her tongue at the entrance of my mouth, as if asking for permission, which I quickly granted. Feeling her wet smooth tongue glide across mine and into my mouth was incredibly erotic. Her mouth was an intoxicating mix between chlorine and champagne, making me crave her more. _

_As our kisses became more desperate, she wound her fingers through my hair and mine began roaming her body. At first I went to the soft skin at the small of back, running my fingers softly up her back causing her to moan into my mouth. As my confidence built I grabbed her ass, pulling her further into me; a move she must have appreciated because I suddenly found myself pushed against the far wall of the shower with her entire body pressed into me as much as possible. One of my legs fell between hers and I could feel her beginning to grind into it as we continued to kiss and explore each other's bodies. _

_While Emily was normally shyer than me, she didn't seem to be that way anymore. She pulled her body away from mine just slightly enough to slip her hands between us and cup my breasts. After gently cupping them she began slowly circling my nipples in a teasing way. Sensing my frustration, she broke our kiss enough to lean down and place her mouth directly on my breast, flicking my nipple with her tongue. I instantly moaned at the contact and pushed myself down onto her leg resting between my legs. As I looked down at her, I could see her smiling up at me as she gave ample attention to both breasts before returning back up to my lips and kissing me passionately._

_After several more minutes of kissing, I felt Emily reach over and turn the water off. Since I was still pressed against the wall, the lack of warm water cascading down around us made me cold and I instantly huddled against her. Looking down at me she gave me a quick peck before quickly jumping out of the shower and running out of the bathroom._

_At that moment it felt like my world was crashing around me. All of my fears rose to the surface, "I was too bold, I pushed her too far, she doesn't want me…" all kept running through my head. I felt my heart breaking knowing that this would change everything between us. We could never go back to the way we were. _


	7. Chapter 7

Emily's POV

_Things were definitely getting heated with Hanna, almost to the point of no return. Feeling her grinding herself against me and moaning in my ear were things I never even dared to dream of. Just before I was about to lose complete control, I heard two loud beeps from downstairs. _

_Suddenly remembering that Hanna had turned on the oven to make food, I knew I would have to break away from her for just long enough to pull the pizza out. After all, catching the house on fire would probably be a bit of a mood killer. _

_Hoping she had heard the oven too, I reached out to turn the water off. Without the warm water and with the sun set over the mountains already, the house was now freezing and poor Hanna was shivering against the cold shower wall. She immediately curled herself into me and I took every ounce of strength I had to break away from her and go downstairs. Just before running downstairs, I gave her a quick but meaningful kiss hoping to convey everything I was feeling in that moment. _

_As quickly as I could, I ran downstairs, without bothering to grab a towel or clothes, and pulled the almost burnt pizza out. I placed it on the stovetop and hurried back upstairs, stopping only to close a few windows we had left open earlier. _

_As I raced up the stairs back into the bathroom, my heart broke at the sight in front of me. Hanna was sitting on the floor of the shower, shivering from the cold, and sobbing into her hands. Pausing only for a moment, I began to worry that maybe she was having second thoughts. Did she regret coming into the shower? Did she wish it had never happened? As a million thoughts churned in my head, I knew that I needed her. I needed her in my life and by my side. That even if she did regret it, I needed to make their friendship work, because I couldn't live without Hanna. _

_As if she could hear my thoughts, she looked up to find me watching her. Through tear filled eyes, I could see hurt and pain but not regret. I walked back towards her, leaned down in the shower, and lifted her up so that she was standing. I didn't know what to say, so I just held her in my arms, trying to provide both comfort and warmth. Through broken sobs I heard her whisper "I thought you left. I thought I lost you…" _

_Her confession gave me the reassurance so say what I think I had always known. I pulled back from her just enough to look her straight in the eyes as I spoke, "I love you Hanna, and I think I may be in love with you. I could never leave you and you will never lose me." _


	8. Chapter 8

Hanna's POV

_"I love you Hanna, and I think I may be in love with you. I could never leave you and you will never lose me."_

I knew she meant what she said and I meant it when I said that I loved her too, but I still ended up losing her. Remembering back to that night in the cabin is heartbreaking, even now. The most painful part was how I treated her after we returned to Rosewood.

The fact that she ever forgave me and we managed to eventually become friends again is a blessing I will never understand or stop being thankful for. I'm still in love with her, and have been ever since that day, but I wasn't ready and couldn't handle what life threw at me next.

_Emily was so loving and gentle with me. After we both confessed our feelings, she pulled me out of the bathroom, never breaking contact with me except to grab a fresh towel to dry us off and warm us up. As we made our way into the bedroom, I saw her grab a remote to turn on the fireplace and a warm blanket. She wrapped us up, our naked bodies pressing together, and lowered us onto the rug in front of the fire. Sitting behind me, gently combing my hair with her fingers, she placed soft kisses along my shoulders and neck. I shuddered, instantly forgetting how cold I had been, now that my body felt like it was lit on fire. _

_Being held in Emily's arms was amazing but I needed more. I turned slowly to face her and slid my legs underneath hers that were at my sides. Staring into her eyes once again I whispered "I love you Emily Fields" before placing a soft but passionate kiss on her waiting lips. The kiss was tender and loving at first, but soon became harder and deeper. I broke away from the kiss panting as I shifted our bodies so that we were now lying down. As I moved up her body, I slipped my leg between hers and could feel the wetness she had formed there. She moaned at the contact and I felt a new sense of confidence in what I was doing. _

_I shifted my attention to her breasts. They were perfectly full with supple brown skin leading to her hard dark nipples that were begging for my touch. As I teased them she moaned again and arched her body into my touch. Knowing that I needed to taste them, I began licking a trail from her neck down between her breasts, circling each, before finding her nipple between my lips. Her reaction was more than I could have imagined as she began moaning my name and pushing herself against my leg to apply more pressure. _

_After several minutes, I kissed back up her chest to her neck and eventually her lips. I broke our kiss as I began to let my hand trail down her body onto her stomach. Before pressing on further, I looked at her to gauge her reaction. She looked at me with black lust filled eyes and almost inaudibly whispered "Please, I need you" giving me the permission I was looking for. _

_Just as I was about to move my hard further, I heard my phone go off in my purse I had left on the bed. I instantly recognized the ringtone and knew it was my mother. Figuring she was just checking in on me while she was out of town, I let it ring and go to voicemail. As my hand traveled farther down Emily's body, I rubbed circles across her abs leaving goosebumps as I moved. I knew that the teasing was getting to her and just as my hand reached the apex of her thighs, my phone rang again. _

_This time the ringtone was the one I had set for my dad. My dad had been out of state for work for almost a month now and almost never called to check in. As the call went to voicemail I felt frozen on top of Emily wondering why they had both called and so close together. _

_Emily could tell I was worried. She grabbed my hand that was still resting on her mound and pulled it up to her mouth. Kissing it softly she spoke "Han, if you're worried, check your phone, it's ok. We have all night and the rest of the weekend to be together." Thankful for her understanding, I knew I needed to see what was going on even though it was almost impossible to stand up and move away from Emily. _

_As I reached for my phone to check my messages, my mom was calling again. I picked up the phone and immediately asked what was wrong. She didn't say much, just that I needed to come home right away. My father was back and they needed to talk to me about something important that couldn't wait. I could tell she had been crying and the fact that she hadn't even bothered to yell at me for leaving town without her permission, worried me even more. _

_Emily must have sensed my anxiety and panic, because by the time I hung up with my mother, she was standing next to me with worry and genuine concern in her eyes. It broke my heart to tell her that we had to cut our trip short but Emily understood. She wrapped herself in the blanket and headed back over to her room to get dressed and get her bags. As we packed the car we both took one last look at the cabin and let out heavy sighs knowing that once we got back, nothing would ever be the same._


	9. Chapter 9

Hanna's POV

_The ride back to Rosewood was two of the longest hours of my life. We drove through the winding mountains in complete silence not knowing what to say to one another or where we stood. I knew that I loved her, but not what would that mean in the light of day. Could I be with her? Was I gay? Was she gay? There were so many questions racing through my head including whatever was going on with my parents. _

_I've never seen my mother cry and had only heard it once through the wall when she thought I was asleep. What could be so bad that it couldn't wait? The roads to and from the Poconos were pretty scary at night and I knew that normally her mother wouldn't want her driving. Especially if she knew how much champagne we had drank earlier that day. Thankfully most of which had worn off in the last few hours I spent with Emily. _

_After dropping Emily off and a quick and tentative hug goodbye, I made my way home not knowing that my life would change forever in just a few minutes. As I walked in the door, I could see my mother sitting at the kitchen table. She was a mess with mascara streaks down her face but seemed to have stopped crying. As I walked toward her, I saw my father standing on the other side of the kitchen island. The rest of the night was a blur of emotions and loss. My father announced that he hadn't been on a business trip and that he was actually involved with another woman in Maryland. A woman that he was now leaving my mother and I to be with. He was leaving mom, but he was also leaving me by doing so. _

_Hurt and confused, I stormed up to my room and locked the door. I curled up in my bed and cried for hours until finally falling asleep. Part of me wanted to call Emily. I knew she would come over and that she would be there for me. We barely slept a night apart because she usually needed me. This time I needed her but couldn't bring myself to call her. She texted me several times to check in and to see what happened, but I didn't respond. _

_Monday morning my mother didn't get out of bed to go to work, so I stayed home from school to be with her. We didn't talk about it, we just sat in the living room, in silence watching daytime television, although neither of us were paying any attention to what was actually on the screen. On Tuesday she went into the office but I skipped again. I just couldn't face everyone. In a small town like this, I was sure that everyone already knew and it was the talk of the town. _

_Emily kept texting and calling. She even stopped by a few times but I didn't answer the door. I knew she was worried but I couldn't deal with everything going on at home and whatever happened on our weekend away. After I skipped again on Wednesday, my mother insisted that I had to go back to school the next day. I knew I was behind quite a bit now since Emily and I skipped last Friday too, so I knew she had a point. _

_Later that night, the doorbell rang. I assumed it was Emily again and asked my mother to tell her I wasn't home. She kept asking what happened between us, but I just said that I wasn't ready to talk to my friends about this yet and she didn't push the issue. When my mother answered the door, I could tell by the voice that it wasn't Emily. Peeling myself off the couch, I walked towards the door to see who it was. _

_To my complete shock, it was Sean. I had been crushing on Sean for as long as I could remember and after Ali wasn't around to distract him, he seemed to notice me a little more. While we talked a little during some of our classes at school, I had no idea why he would be at my house. As my mother let him in, he explained that he had volunteered to bring over some homework assignments so I didn't fall too far behind in my classes. _

_As I approached, my mother thanked him and excused herself upstairs to give us some privacy. Sean had the most genuine smile on his face when he saw me. Of course my biggest crush had to stop by when I was in ratty pajamas, no makeup, and messy hair. Although he didn't seem concerned with my looks and simply asked how I was holding up. He said that he heard and got worried when I wasn't showing up for school. I let him know that I was coming back to school the next day which seemed to lighten his mood. _

_Finally, before he left, he turned back towards me and tentatively spoke, "Umm…so I know you're dealing with a lot right now, but I was also wondering if maybe I could take you out this weekend…maybe to dinner or something. It might help to get your mind off of everything."_

_While I knew it was wrong given everything with Emily, I heard myself saying yes. I had convinced myself for so long that I wanted to be with Sean, so agreeing to go out with him seemed to be the right thing to do. But if it was, then why didn't it feel that way?_

_By the time I got to school in the morning, I was still the talk of the school, but not because of my dad anymore. Sean had told his best friend Noah that night that he finally asked me out and that I said yes. My friend Mona, who had lost weight and started becoming more popular at the same time I did, had just started dating Noel. While I love Mona and have a blast with her, everyone knows she has a big mouth, so by the 1__st__ period bell, the whole school knew Sean and I were dating. _

_At first I didn't think it was a big deal and was thankful that I had missed the window where people were talking about my parents' divorce. That was until 2__nd__ period when I walked into English and saw Emily. I had been ignoring her all week and trying to put that night out of my mind until I could deal with what it meant, but when I saw her, everything came flooding back to me. _

_I looked into her eyes as they filled with tears. I opened my mouth to explain but she rushed past to me only quietly saying "How could you? I guess you and Ali are more alike than I thought" between soft sobs as she passed me by. Having no idea what Emily really meant by that, it only confused me more. Why was I like Ali? Did something like this happen between Emily and Alison? _

_Emily didn't come back to English at all that period and skipped the rest of the classes we had together that day. The more I thought about, the more I started to understand. Emily and Alison must have had an experience like we did the other night. It definitely would explain why Emily took her disappearance harder than the rest of us. As the pieces started to fit together, I began to feel used by Emily. It was no secret that Alison and I looked a little alike. Sure, when I was heavier it wasn't as noticeable, but as I started losing the weight, we looked like we could be twins or at least sisters. _

_Was Emily thinking about Ali that night we were together? Was she just using me?_

_While there was a part of me deep down that knew Emily would never use me like that and that the night in the cabin was real between us, I had to convince myself otherwise. I wasn't prepared to process the feelings that I had for Emily and being angry at her was the easiest way to avoid that. _

_Emily and I barely spoke after that day. The school year passed quickly. Emily got back into swimming and started dating some guy Ben from her team, while Mona and I grew into the "IT" girls of Rosewood. Plus with Sean and Noel, two of the most popular guys in 10__th__ grade, at our side, we were unstoppable. I wasn't about to let anything or anyone stand in my way of finally being the girl I always of dreamed of being as a chubby middle-schooler, especially not her. _


	10. Chapter 10

Emily's POV

When I arrived at the venue for the fashion show, I was pretty nervous. It felt weird knowing I was going to be wearing one of Alison's gowns tonight. I had gotten over her a long time ago, thanks to Hanna, but events like this and the memorial always brought those feelings back to the surface. I hated feeling that vulnerable and heartbroken just for falling for the wrong person. And then realizing I was dumb enough to do it again with Hanna.

Pushing those thoughts out of my mind, I tried to focus on the night ahead of us. Hanna and I lost touch for almost a year, but when Alison's body was found, it brought us close together again. It actually brought all of us closer again. Last year was the loneliest of my life without them, especially Hanna, but things seemed to be better now.

Perhaps better is a relative term though. While we are close again, we are constantly terrified anytime we get a text or email, knowing that it could be A ready to spill another secret or blackmail us into something. Most of my secrets were already exposed by A and while it was hard at the time, I'm relieved to finally be out to my friends and family. It was a rough ride but I'm finally comfortable with who I am and have a beautiful girlfriend who is coming tonight to see me.

Although a part of me always wonders if A knows what happened that night in the mountains with Hanna. Neither of us have ever spoken of that night or even alluded to it after Hanna's first day back at school when I found out she was dating Sean. My heart broke that day and I vowed to never let anyone make me hurt like that again. I have forgiven Hanna and understood why she felt she had to do what she did. I am a lesbian and Hanna isn't. While that night was great, it couldn't ever be anything real because it's not who Hanna is and I eventually came to terms with that.

When we first started hanging out again, after Alison's funeral, and discovered we were all getting texts from A, we gave each other a knowing look. I think we both suspect that one day our secret will come out, but so far it hasn't. I'm beginning to think we might have lucked out and A wasn't following us that night.

As I was taking my trip down memory lane and worrying about A, Samara had snuck into the dressing room and took me by surprise when she whispered hello in my ear from behind me. Samara was beautiful and fun. I didn't have the passion with her that I have had with others in the past, but she's great, kind, drug-free, and best of all, is actually gay.

As I turned around I realized that Samara wasn't alone. Standing next to her, and oddly holding her hand was a red-head that I know I hadn't met before. Samara introduces her as her oldest friend, Quin, and unsure of what to do, I just smiled politely, said hello. Not knowing how to act, I used needing to get ready as an excuse for them to go find their seats.

My already stressed out mind added another thing to the ever-growing list. Why was Samara holding her hand? Were they on a date? I guess I just assumed she was my girlfriend even though we never had the exclusive talk… But if she was on a date, why would she bring the new girl here to see her at a fashion show?

Hanna's POV

I was pretty nervous as I walked towards the dressing room for the fashion show. I passed Spencer as she rushed by me to drop a DVD off to the DJ and Mona, who, having clearly taken charge of the event, was barking orders into her headset. As I entered the staging area, I saw Emily and Samara…and someone else. None of them noticed me enter, so I went off to the side of the room but kept my eye on the scene unfolding around me. Samara was talking briefly to Emily but Emily's eyes kept darting between the two girls and their joined hands. Finally Emily smiled and made a lame excuse that she had to get ready, even though we still had 30 minutes until the show.

Emily was clearly upset and confused, so much so that she didn't notice me approaching her. She even jumped a little when I said announced myself and said hi to her. I tried to ask her what was wrong but she must not have wanted to talk about it, or at least not with me.

While Emily and I are friends now, we're not friends like we were before. There are certain topics that we don't discuss. Anytime I've tried to talk to her about relationships, she shuts down a little. I knew when she started seeing Maya before she had told anyone. A sent me a picture of them. When the other girls learned how I found out, they didn't understand why A would only send it to me and not them, but Emily and I both knew why. When I saw the pictures I felt a twinge of jealous but ultimately wanted Emily to be happy and Maya seemed to do that.

It has been months since Emily came out to us and eventually her parents. Maya was shipped off to some rehab camp for smoking pot, Emily had a brief fling with a girl on her swim team, and now she was with Samara, or maybe not based on tonight.

Emily doesn't know that I know about Paige. A sent me photos of them together to make me jealous after the Maya photos didn't do the trick. Emily being with Paige bothered me more than I expected it to. Maybe it was because I didn't like Paige after the homophobic comments and attempted drowning incident in the pool. Or maybe it was because I could actually see Emily with someone like Paige. Maya always seemed more like an enigma. She made Emily happy then but I could tell she wasn't going to stick around. Paige was more the relationship type. And as much as I knew Emily deserved happiness, I felt my blood boil with jealousy and anger when I saw those pictures.

I know it's not fair for me to feel this way about her. Especially after ignoring her and providing no explanation. But even after all of that, I've never stopped loving her; I just refused to admit it. My feelings get stronger and harder to ignore each day that I spend more time with her, but I can't cut her out of my life again. Especially not now, after what I put her through and all she's gone through.

I love spending time with her now. She's still the same person I had always known but has really grown into herself since last year. It's great to see Emily finally comfortable with who she is and knows what she wants. And unfortunately the blonde she wants now, isn't me. And even if it was me, she's moving to Texas for a year. I'm not sure we can survive another year apart.

After staring blankly for a few minutes in her direction, wrestling with all of these unwanted feelings, she noticed me in the corner of the room. As she looked at me, I could tell she was upset but trying not to let it show. Seeing the tears form in her eyes and her trying to compose herself broke my heart. Without thinking, I rushed over to her and enveloped her in my tight embrace.


	11. Chapter 11

Emily's POV

With my head still spinning over my relationship, or possibly lack of, with Samara, I hadn't noticed Hanna in the corner of the room and made eye contact with her before looking away quickly. How long had she been there? Had she seen Samara with that girl? Can she tell I'm not ok…god I hope not…

Before I could get the next thought through my brain, I felt Hanna's warm arms surround me. She didn't say anything, probably not sure what she should say, she just held me. It was the most physical contact we have had in over a year. Sure we were friends again, but we were always so tentative around each other. We avoided sensitive topics and almost all forms of physical contact. We would hug quickly every now and then to not draw attention to the others, but it was never like this.

This hug was warm and comforting. It made me feel safe and loved in a way I haven't felt since that night, from anyone. Since that night with Hanna, I've dated three other girls, and while part of me fell for Maya, part of me knew it would never work because I wasn't over Hanna yet. As much as I tried to forget about her, I knew a part of me would always love her. That became painfully clear the night that I tried to call Maya at boot camp and ended up getting drunk. I ended up screaming at Hanna after she was leading Lucas on, the same way Ali, and she, did with me. Regardless of how mean I was to her that night, I still remember that it was her tucking me into Spencer's bed and making sure I was ok.

After the Paige thing and now with Samara, I finally feel like I'm starting to put my feelings about Hanna behind me and only see her as a friend. I'm finally able to be around her now without wanting to burst into tears, which has to be a good sign. Several months ago I would have never been able to stand here and enjoying the comfort of her arms without overanalyzing what it meant.

But Hanna is with Caleb again and they seem really happy. I knew she wasn't right for Sean. I could tell that there were times she was just going through the motions with him. For a long time I ever let myself believe it was because she still had feelings for me, as ridiculous as the notion was.

We must have stood there a while because suddenly Mona burst into our dressing area, with Spencer and Aria in tow, yelling for us all to get dressed because we only had ten minutes before the show. We broke away quickly when they stormed in but I could tell based on Spencer's face that she had noticed our long embrace and embarrassed look on my face when we separated.

Spencer's POV

Mona was really starting to piss me off with this whole co-chair thing. She keeps making us do all the work while she just stands around barking out orders. After about 20 minutes of making sure the guests were happy and everything was set for the show, she latched onto me and Aria to drag us back to get changed.

I was right behind Mona, but in front of Aria as we burst into the room. Just as we entered I saw that Hanna and Emily had been hugging but quickly jumped apart when they saw us. Hanna's face was bright red and she quickly turned away, pretending to be busy unzipping her dress. Emily stood still, as if cemented in place, but had an odd look on her face. She almost seemed embarrassed or even ashamed.

Not really sure what was going on, I asked them both why they were being so weird. Emily didn't respond so Hanna jumped in, "Samara brought a date tonight even though she was supposed to be here to see Emily."

Emily looked hurt by Hanna's statement and countered, "Quin is not her date, they are just old friends."

"Yeah, old friends who hold hands on a Friday night at a fashion show." Hanna retorted.

The way they were going back and forth with each other left quite a lot of subtext that I didn't quite understand. Hanna knew just as much as the rest of us that affection between friends, especially with all of us, is normal. After all, it was Hanna holding Emily just a few minutes before we walked in and that didn't mean anything. Or did it?

As I thought about it more, Hanna and Emily avoided physical contact with each other on most occasions now. They always used to be affectionate in the past, cuddly even, but now it was limited to an as-needed basis only. Was Emily so upset about Samara that she needed Hanna to comfort her. She didn't look that upset when they walked in and now she just looked frustrated.

Before I had time to say anything, Aria chirped in, "Well, isn't she your girlfriend? I mean I don't think Ezra would like it much if I was holding Caleb or Toby's hand even though they are my friends. I think the rules change when you're in a relationship and that becomes even more complicated because you date girls…Sorry Em."

"We never had the commitment talk, especially since I'm moving soon, it just didn't make sense to define our relationship, so I guess those rules don't apply. She's not technically my girlfriend…I just didn't know we were dating other people. I suppose now I know." Emily responded.

I needed to find out if my suspicions were correct and I knew the only way to find out was to stir the pot a little. "Well now that you know, you should totally date other people. I mean there have to plenty of girls who are interested in dating you. You're smart, talented, nice, beautiful…the full package. Any of us would be lucky to find someone as perfect as you." I said to Emily while glancing over at Hanna for a reaction.

Emily blushed at the compliment but also stiffened up. She refused to look over at Hanna even though Hanna's eyes could have bored holes into her. Hanna's reaction was probably more obvious than she realized. She definitely seemed to perk up at this suggestion but also she also flushed with embarrassment and maybe even jealousy.

What was going on with these two? Had something happened between them? I always thought they grew apart because Hanna was busy with Sean and Emily recommitted herself to swimming. Maybe there was more to it than that.

Just as I was convinced something was going on, Mona yelled at us, "Cut the chit-chat, we have five minutes to the show. None of you are even dressed yet! So help me God if I have to come back in here and find you before we start…" She trailed off, leaving just as quickly as we had originally entered.

Realizing that Mona had a point, none of us were dressed yet, we all hurried to our stations to get ready. Mine was next to Aria on one side of the mirrors while Hanna and Emily were stationed on the other side.

While we were getting our dresses on, I couldn't stop thinking about Hanna and Emily. Wondering if Aria noticed anything, I whispered quietly over to her, "Pst, Aria… have you noticed anything strange about Emily and Hanna lately?"

Not noticing that I was clearly whispering for a reason, Aria loudly responded, "Huh? I haven't noticed anything weird with them, what do you mean?"

After shushing her, I just told her to forget about it. She gave me a weird look but continued to zip up her dress. I noticed that it was a little too quiet on the other side of the mirrors but couldn't see what was going on.

Just as we were all dressed and getting ready to head to backstage I heard Hanna's phone beep. She had gotten a text but when we asked her about it, she just said it was her mom wishing her good luck. I could tell she was lying but didn't have time to call her out and it and based on the look on her face, I knew it was A and we would all find out soon enough.

Emily's POV

Why would Spencer say that? I mean I know she's trying to be nice and doesn't know what happened with Hanna and I, but I totally froze. She had to suspect something by the way I just stood there. I couldn't even look over at Hanna. My face was beet red but I tried to play it off like her compliment simply embarrassed me. I could feel Hanna's eyes on me though. I wasn't sure why she would react the way she did, but I could feel the waves of anxiety rolling off her body in my direction.

Hanna's POV

'Play it cool!' I screamed at myself in my head.

While it wasn't unusual for Spencer to compliment one of us, this took it a little farther than normal. The only two logical reasons were that either Spencer was also interested in Emily or she knew about them. To be honest I don't know which was worse.

The idea of Spencer and Emily together made my stomach churn, but also having the other girls find out about what happened between us and how I treated Emily would be just as bad. I was horrible to her and terribly embarrassed. Aria and Spencer wouldn't be as forgiving as Emily was, knowing that Alison did the same thing to her before me. Which for the record, I didn't know at the time.

Thankfully Mona came in to scold us for not being dressed just as I was sure Spencer noticed my reaction. Thank God Emily never looked in my direction or she could have read me like a book. As we hurried to our stations, I went to the far side of the room, next to Emily and across from the other girls. As we were getting dressed I couldn't help but sneak a couple quick glances over at Emily.

Her body had become even more toned this last year due to her more rigorous swim training and it took every ounce of strength not to stare. Once she was finally dressed I let go of a breath I didn't realize I was holding. She was wearing a beautiful blue dress that if I didn't know was previously Alison's, I would have sworn it was made custom for Emily. The color worked perfectly with her skin tone and hugged her body in all the right places. At this moment I was convinced that nothing in the world was more beautiful than this girl.

As she smiled at me, slightly awkwardly, and turned to join the other girls to head backstage, my phone beeped. As always, my heart hammers in my chest as I reach for my phone. I read the text and my worst fears are confirmed.

"Looks like Spencer is on to you. You have until midnight to tell them what happened last fall or Wilden will find out what your mom keeps in a lasagna box. xoxo – A"


	12. Chapter 12

Emily's POV

I was never more thankful for Mona in my whole life. Her tirade through our dressing room cut through the tension and forced us all to focus only on the show. We all quickly went to our stations to change. As I stripped out of my clothes and climbed into the dress, I couldn't help but notice Hanna watching me when she thought I wasn't looking. Having Hanna look at me like that again gave me butterflies in my stomach, but I knew it didn't mean anything. Whether she found me attractive or not didn't change the reality of our situation.

As we all approached the backstage area we ran into Mona who informed us that plans had changed.

We were originally only supposed to come out at the end in Alison's gowns, but due to a few last minutes cancellations, she needed us to fill in for the missing other models. Quickly changing back out of our dresses, we rushed to get the first outfits on as the music started.

We each went walked the runaway in a few different outfits, sometimes modeling by ourselves or with each other. It was actually more fun than I thought it would be. I'm not usually one for the spotlight but it was for a good cause and I was enjoying it with my best friends.

However, the excitement quickly faded to nervousness just before the final walk dedicated to Alison. Aria and Hanna were at the other stage door leaving me alone with Spencer who I had given me weird looks all night. Just before Alison's mom began speaking about the dedication to her daughter, Spencer leaned in and whispered, "So what's going on with you and Hanna?"

My heart started immediately racing. She couldn't possibly know…right? "Spence, what do you mean? Nothing is going on."

"Don't lie to me Emily! I have never seen two people more flustered about being caught hugging in my life. And the way the way you were arguing about Samara without really arguing. You could cut the tension with a knife. It almost seemed like a jealous lovers' quarrel." she whispered back at me.

"Seriously…I don't know what you're talking about. There is nothing going on with me and Hanna." I responded, hoping she believed me. I didn't want Spencer or Aria to know what had happened with Hanna in the Poconos. I don't want them thinking that I go after all of my straight friends and to worry that they could be next. And I certainly didn't want them thinking I was still in love with Hanna. Wait, was I still in love with her?

Before I could finish my next thought, Spencer interrupted my inter monologue with "Then prove it! Grab her hand and hold it like you used to. If there is nothing going on, then it shouldn't be a problem to be affectionate with her, right?"

I stood there for a second with my mouth hanging open. I couldn't believe that Spencer was pushing me into this, but I knew I couldn't not follow through unless I wanted to talk about that night, which I definitely did not want to do. Just before I was about to answer her, she gave me a knowing look and headed out on stage to meet with Aria.

The next thirty seconds seemed like an eternity. I could see Hanna across the stage from me as we began walking out. I was nervous now but for a whole new reason. I knew I had to grab her hand to get Spencer to back off, but I didn't know how Hanna would take it. Would she freak out if I touched her like that? I didn't want her to stop speaking to me again, especially when we're finally starting to be okay again.

Before I could stress anymore about what I was going to do, we had met in middle of the stage. 'Well, it's now or never' I thought to myself before reaching down and lacing my fingers between hers. Just as our fingers touch I felt a bolt of electricity shoot up my arm directly into my gut.

Holding her hand and being close to her was suddenly the only thing that mattered. It's like my life was tethered to her and she was the only thing keeping me grounded on Earth. My earlier fears were answered in that instant.

I had tried to convince myself over the last year that I loved Hanna but that I was no longer 'in love' with her. But I knew in this moment that I was still in love with her, that I always had been, and maybe always would be.

The realization hit me hard with a weight of knowing that she would never love me the same way. There was a time when I thought maybe she did. That night she seemed to love me back and even said that she did. Everything seemed perfect and like nothing could come between us, but then everything changed. Everything changed in an instant and I still didn't really know why.

Suddenly I was almost thankful that my mother was forcing me to move to Texas. Maybe putting actual distance between us would get me to finally move past her. I knew that if I stayed in Rosewood with Hanna in my life, that I could never stop loving her.

As the realization came to me, we had reached the end of the runway, meeting up with Aria and Spencer. Spencer looked me directly in the eye and I knew that she could tell what I was feeling. I was hoping that she could read it well enough on my  
face to not even bother asking. As she gave me a knowing look, I could see the sympathy and apology in her eyes. She hadn't mean to hurt me, but she knew I needed to face this.

Suddenly, the music changed and the stage went dark. That's when everything went to hell, including the four of us.

Hanna's POV

"Looks like Spencer is on to you. You have until midnight to tell them what happened last fall or Wilden will find out what your mom keeps in a lasagna box. xoxo – A"

Normally fashion shows are totally my thing and I was really trying to enjoy the moment, but I couldn't focus on anything except A's threat. I couldn't let anything happen to my mom. She's the only one who had always been there for me and I knew she only did what she had to do to protect me. I know have to tell Spencer and Aria the real reason Emily and I stopped being friends and I only have a few hours to do it.

After three lighting fast costume changes, a practically naked Emily dressing and undressing next to me, and a threatening text from A, I was officially stressed out. Finally we put back on our original gowns for the big finale. Aria and I were on one side of the stage with Spencer and Emily on another. After Alison's mother made an announcement, the music changed and the slideshow we had put together started playing as our cue to begin walking. Aria and Spencer walked out first, met in the middle of the stage and walked the cat walk together. After they reached the end, it was mine and Emily's turn.

I couldn't tear my eyes away from her as she walked towards me. Her hips swayed gently to the music and while she was smiling, I could see the shyness in her eyes. Being on display was never Emily's thing, unless of course it was in the water, but I don't think I had ever seen her look quite this nervous before.

Just as we reached each other at the center of the stage, she reached down, took my hand, and laced her fingers through mine. The gesture, while perfectly innocent, sent sparks flying up my arms. Suddenly no one else in the room mattered. I knew we were walking down the cat walk to meet Spencer and Aria and were surrounded by hundreds of people, but the only thing I could focus on was her. As we walked she refused to look at me, but I could tell by the way she held my hand that she had felt the spark too.

Just as we met the girls at the end of runway and I thought life couldn't get any better, the music, lights, and slide show all suddenly changed. Gasps were the only thing audible from the audience as the loud music, "The Bitch is Dead" voiceover, and a picture of Alison burning in hell.

Emily and I were both stuck, frozen, staring in complete shock at the screen, clenching each other's hands even tighter. Thankfully Spencer was able to react and run over to the audio booth to shut it down. When the lights came back on and the music stopped, Emily and I both ran back stage and away from the stunned crowd.

Needless to say, the fashion show was over. The four of us stayed in the dressing room until everyone else had gone. Finally changing back into our clothes, none of us spoke a single word. Just as we were packing up, all four of phones began to chirp.

Spencer, Aria, and Emily all got the following text, "My dresses, my rules bitches - A"

As they read theirs aloud, I kept quiet, pretending mine said the same, but instead A's message to me read, "Tick tock tick tock. Only a few more hours until midnight. This is your first and last first warning. - A"


	13. Chapter 13

Spencer's POV

As I drove home from the fashion show, I was still in complete shock at what had happened. The obvious event from the night was A's public destruction of Ali's memory. That's going to be the talk of the school for a while, and as always, the four of us were stuck in the middle of the scandal. I just hope that everyone realizes it wasn't us. They had to know by the looks on our faces that we were as stunned as they were. But with all the bad press we've had this year, who knows…

The most shocking thing of the night though had nothing to do with Ali or A. There was something going on with Hanna and Emily. I had pushed Emily into proving me wrong, hoping I was just reading into things. But I saw the look at her face at the end of the runway. She looked in love and completely devastated at the same time. I never meant to hurt her.

It would be easy to think that maybe Emily just accidently formed a crush on someone she was close to, but Hanna was acting just as strangely, as if she had something to hide too. I can't imagine what could have happened between them.

Just as I was pulling through the gate towards my house, I received an SOS text from Hanna. Slamming the car into reverse, I sped across the neighborhood to Hanna's house, practically running over Aria in the driveway.

"Hey! I got Hanna's SOS text too. Where's Emily?" Aria said as I got out of the car.

"Not sure, I haven't seen her. I know she rode home from the fashion show with her mom. Maybe she's already inside." I responded.

Without bothering to knock, we both entered the Marin house and headed straight for Hanna's room. When we opened the door, Hanna was sitting on her bed, and without looking up at us, she spoke, "Thank you both for coming so quickly. There is something I need to tell you. It's something I'm not proud of and A is making sure I pay for it now."

Suddenly I realized that Emily wasn't coming. Hanna only texted Aria and I because it was about Emily. Given all that has happened tonight, I should haven't been surprised, but as she began telling us what happened, I was speechless."

Hanna's POV

It was almost 11pm when I got home from the fashion show. Knowing I had only an hour left, I texted Spencer and Aria "SOS." Knowing they would assume it's an A situation, which I guess technically it was, they would come running.

Just as predicted, they both arrived within 10 minutes and came bursting into my room. I couldn't even look up at them as I began telling them the real reason that Emily and I lost touch.

Knowing A was a stickler for details, I couldn't leave anything out. I told them about walking in on her in the shower and then how I made the move to join her. How I came onto Emily and how I felt when I thought I had pushed her too far. Explaining that she came back upstairs, confessed to being in love with me, and how we almost had sex.

I knew they would be surprised by the details of that night, but that they wouldn't judge me for it. Spencer and Aria were both very open minded when it came to love. When Emily finally came out to them, she was terrified, but really for no reason. They loved her and accepted her for who she was. Who she wanted to date changed nothing in their minds about their friend. Telling them my feelings and actions that night would be the easy part of this confession.

Next I explained why we had to return to Rosewood and how I found out about my dad leaving us. How Sean came over and asked me out. How Emily called, texted, and showed up repeatedly, but that I couldn't face her. I began crying as I told them how cowardly I was that I couldn't even face Emily. I couldn't even tell her that I couldn't be with her, so I had just cut her out of my life.

What happened next surprised me. As I'm trying to continue speaking through broken sobs, I felt Aria reach out and take one of my hands in hers and I felt Spencer, shift over on the bed to put her arm around me. It was at that point that I realized that while I had made a huge mistake, they knew I was sorry and paying for it now. They didn't need to mad at me or punish me, because I was doing it to myself already. They really were amazing friends. I suppose I should have known that all along.

We stayed sitting on my bed in complete silence for several minutes. Spencer softly rubbed my back as I buried my tear stained face in her neck and Aria gave me several reassurance squeezes to let me know it was going to be ok.

When I finally pulled out of Spencer's arms and looked them both in the eyes, I didn't even know what to say. I wanted to apologize, but I knew it wasn't them I needed to apologize to. I wanted to give a better excuse for my behavior, but there wasn't one. Before I was able to find something to say, Spencer broke my train of thought by asking the only question I didn't want to answer, "Hanna, I'm sorry but I have to ask…do you still have feelings for her?"

"Yes" I said quietly, knowing I couldn't lie to them, not after I just bared my soul. "…but it doesn't matter. She's with Samara, or maybe not, I don't know…but either way, while she may have forgiven me for what happened, I'm sure she hasn't forgotten. Not to mention the small detail that she's moving to Texas in a few weeks."

It seemed neither Spencer nor Aria had much to say in response to that fact. It was easy to forget that Emily was leaving because we all wanted to pretend it wasn't true, but it was a fact that we needed to face.

We were all going to lose her, they just knew now that it might affect me differently than them. Who knows, maybe it could be a good thing. Maybe being away from each other with actual distance, not just silence, could help me forget about that night and how I felt, and still feel, when I'm with her. Maybe then I could focus on Caleb and being happy with him rather than using him to fill theEmily-sized hole in my heart.


	14. Chapter 14

Ashley's POV

After a night like tonight, I needed a large glass of Chardonnay. Between what happened on stage to the girls and the yet-to-be-spoken of dance with my ex before the show, it's been a long night.

I knew Hanna must have been taking things hard because Spencer and Aria rushed into the house and straight up to her room. I was a little surprised that Emily wasn't with them, but I figured that maybe she was at home with her mom getting some much needed good news.

Earlier that night

_I was enjoying a drink with Ella and Pam, having a long conversation about the year the girls had and all they had been through. Pam knew Emily was struggling with having to move to Texas, but we all understood why Pam had made the decision. Being away from her husband for so long was putting a huge strain on their marriage. It's one thing when he's in half-way across the world but now that he's stationed in the US, it only makes sense that they be together. _

_But when Pam mentioned that Emily might have some interest from a local Danby scout, I knew Pam was reconsidering her decision. I knew the decision to stay or go was becoming impossible for her. Pam and Emily's relationship was rocky when Emily first came out, but over the past several months, Pam really forced herself to open her mind and understand who her daughter is. She went through something that would be hard for any mother, but eventually realized that her daughter just wanted to be happy and needed her support. _

_I also could tell that Pam felt guilty about how she initially reacted and it would probably play into her decision that would leave them staying in Rosewood. I couldn't bear to watch Pam give her marriage to make Emily's dreams come true. Without having to give it a second thought, I offered for Emily to stay with Hanna and I. _

_I knew that Hanna and Emily's relationship dissolved shortly after Alison went missing, but it did with the other girls too. When Alison's body was found and they finally got some closure, it seemed to be what they needed to repair their friendships, because now they were all practically inseparable. Sure Hanna was used to being an only child, but I know that she would rather give up some of her personal space at home to make sure that her best friend didn't move away. _

_Before the fashion show I could tell that Pam was considering but not sold on the idea just yet. After the tragedy that became Ali's dedication, Ella, Pam, and I stayed to wait for the girls. As they waited out the crowd, they stayed with each other, not daring to even speak, but just finding comfort in each other's presence. I think it was at that moment that Pam must have realized that Emily would be ok if she stayed here. She had another family in our other three families that would protect her and be there for her. These girls were so close that didn't need to speak to know what each other was thinking. _

_Shortly before leaving, Pam pulled me aside to give me one last chance to reconsider. When I told her that Emily was just as much a part of my family as Spencer, Aria, or even my own daughter, she agreed to let her stay. We made plans for tomorrow to discuss the details, but I could tell it was a relief to Pam. She now could focus on her marriage while knowing her daughter would be safe and loved. _

By the time I finished my glass of wine, I saw Spencer and Aria leaving the house, quietly whispering between them. When they saw me in the kitchen, they politely said goodnight and headed home. Knowing Hanna probably needed some cheering up, I didn't want to wait until morning to tell her about Emily.

Heading upstairs, I knocked on Hanna's door and let myself in. Her eyes were puffy from crying and it broke my heart. I knew I couldn't fix what happened tonight, but maybe I could add a silver lining.

"Hanna, I know you've had a rough night, but I have some really good news that couldn't wait. I spoke with Pam tonight and she's agreed to let Emily stay in Rosewood."

Hanna's head immediately perked up at the news so I continued, "She's going to be moving in with us! Pam is coming over to discuss the details tomorrow and Emily will move in on Sunday."

Hanna looked at me with wide eyes, completely shocked. She was obviously speechless at the great news, so I gave her a quick kiss on the head telling her that she was welcome and that I was happy to offer.

Hanna's POV

When my mom came in my room I expected she was just going to ask about what happened tonight. When she told me that Emily was staying in Rosewood I had very mixed emotions. Part of me was happy because I knew I would miss her if she were gone, as would the others. But part of me was nervous because if she was staying, I was going to have to either deal with these feelings or bury them for good.

But when my mother said that she was moving in with us, I didn't know what to say. I couldn't even react. I knew that any honest reaction would worry my mother or prompt her to ask questions that I didn't want to answer, at least not to her, so I just sat there with wide eyes and an open mouth. I guess she took it as a positive reaction and left me with the "good news."

Live with us? As in live in this house? Sleep in the room next to mine? Bathe in the same shower? Oh god…the shower. Suddenly memories of that night came rushing back to me gain. As much as I tried burry them, having ripped open that wound tonight, everything seemed as fresh as if it happened yesterday. Not knowing what else to do, I texted Spencer and Aria to tell them.

"Emily isn't moving to Texas anymore, she's moving in with me…"


	15. Chapter 15

Emily's POV

After the fashion show all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and hide from the world. The dedication to Alison was a disaster. It was horrifying and they were all caught in the middle of it. Plus, on top of everything else that went wrong tonight, Spencer might know about Hanna.

I don't know how she knows, maybe I haven't done as well hiding it as I thought, but she seems to know something. I know Hanna wouldn't have been the one to tell her. While we haven't talked about it, I know she's still beating herself up about how things transpired between us. Honestly, part of me is fine with letting her feel that way.

I was in love with her, maybe even still am, and she broke my heart. She treated me even worse than Alison. Ali was at least still my friend and told me that we couldn't be together. Hanna just walked away without an explanation. I've forgiven her but I know she wouldn't want the others to know. Experimenting with me was obviously a mistake for her that she regretted. She'd be too embarrassed that it even happened, let alone how she handled it.

As I was stressing out over Hanna, my mother knocked on my door and let herself into my room. Figuring she was just coming in to ask about the fashion show, I told her that I was tired and just needed some sleep.

"Emmy, I know you're tired, but I have some good news that will hopefully help you go to sleep a little better. You don't have to move to Texas, you can stay here in Rosewood!"

I was stunned at her sudden change of heart. The last time we talked she made it extremely clear that the only way I could stay is if Danby gave me a letter of guarantee, which they didn't.

"Are you sure we can stay? What about you and dad…I know how much you miss him…I don't want to be the reason you're apart…"

Before I could finish she interrupted, "No sweetheart, I'm still going to Texas… I spoke with Mrs. Marin tonight and she offered for you to stay with her and Hanna. I know how close you girls are and I think it would be too hard on you, given everything that's happened this year, to uproot you and move you to a new school in a new town."

"M..m…moving in with the Marins? With Hanna?" I didn't know what to say. My life was here in Rosewood. I had my best friends and up until tonight, things had been going great with Samara, but moving in with Hanna is not what I expected. Why couldn't I stay at Spencer's or Aria's? I know since Hanna was on an only child, they probably had the most room, and I had always been closer with Hanna in the past, so Mrs. Marin probably just offered before Mrs. Montgomery did, but I never would have expected my mom to agree.

"Yes honey, I'm going over there tomorrow morning to talk through the details if you want to come. We'll need to start moving your stuff over as soon as possible. Hanna can show you around your new room and you can start getting settled."

My mind was reeling from all the information my mom was throwing at me. I couldn't take it anymore but I also couldn't break her heart. I knew she did this for me and I needed to seem grateful rather than terrified or she would get suspicious.

"Wow thanks mom. I really appreciate you doing this for me. I'm really tired though, can I get some rest and we can talk more in the morning?" I lied knowing that I wouldn't sleep at all knowing that soon there would be no avoiding Hanna. We were going to have to face what happened. I just wasn't sure I was prepared to hear her admit that it was a mistake and that she regrets it. Because while as much pain as it's caused, it was easily the best night of my life.

Not knowing what to do, I knew the only person who I might be able to talk to about this was Spencer since she obviously had her suspicions. Looking at the clock, it was after midnight but I knew she would still be awake so I texted her.

Spencer's POV

Tonight has definitely not turned out the way that I thought it would. Aria and I were both stunned by Hanna's confession. It was obvious she was in pain and has been for a while over what happened. While we didn't condone the way she treated Emily, she didn't need our judgement, she needed comfort.

It was pretty late now so I offered to give Aria a ride home, since she had walked over to Hanna's. Once in the car, we both just looked at each other, still stunned.

"Did you have any idea before tonight?" Aria asked after a heavy sigh.

"No." I answered honestly. "I mean I noticed that they weren't as affectionate with each other as before, but didn't think much of it. Emily's not as affectionate with any of us anymore, probably because of what happened, but I just thought it was because she didn't want to give us the wrong impression."

"I just can't believe it… I mean I totally see how Hanna could fall for Emily. They were always so close and after Ali went missing they clung on to each other while we ran away. I just don't understand why Hanna shut her out the way she did afterwards. I mean I can understand if she was scared about what it meant and that being involved could ruin their friendship, but not speaking ruins it worse."

"Hanna lacks inner confidence from all those years of being picked on by Alison. She was finally starting to become what she had always thought she wanted and Emily would ruin that. It was selfish and wrong, she knows that now, but I could see why she thought she had to then." I responded.

"I guess you're right. But what about now? Hanna clearly never stopped loving Emily. Emily's over her though, right?" Aria asked.

"I don't know. I pushed Emily into an uncomfortable position with Hanna earlier tonight and based on the look in her eyes, I think she might still have feelings for Hanna too…"

"So do we tell them? Maybe if we make them talk about it they'll realize they both love each other and can be together!" Aria said getting herself a little too excited.

"I don't know… I don't think we should meddle. If it doesn't work out, they'll blame us for pushing them together. Maybe things will just happen naturally between them now that they are starting to be honest with themselves about their feelings…"

Just as I was about to continue, both of our phones chimed. Always expecting the worst, we held our breath and checked the message.

"Emily isn't moving to Texas anymore, she's moving in with me… " – Hanna

"Oh my god! Emily's not leaving…yay! Wait…moving in with Hanna…this could get messy." Aria said tentatively.

Suddenly my phone beeped again, but this time from Emily.

"Spencer, can you please come over? I need to tell you something you may already know, but it just got more complicated than I could've imagined."

"Who texted you?" Aria asked when she didn't receive a second message.

"Oh, just my mom wondering where I am…I should probably take you home now, it's getting pretty late." I lied as I texted Emily back "Be there in 10."


	16. Chapter 16

Emily POV

"I'm outside. Should I ring the bell this late or just come in?" Spencer texted as her car pulled in front of the house.

"The door is unlocked, I'm in my room. I think my mom is asleep, so be quiet when coming up." I responded.

A few minutes later I could hear the door downstairs open quietly and Spencer tiptoe up to my room. My heart was beating out of my chest as the door opened and Spencer saw me sitting on my window-seat. I was pretty sure she already knew part of what I had to tell her, but she would be shocked about what happened last year.

"Hi Spence, thanks for coming." I said as she sat down next to me.

"Of course Em, what's going on? It sounded important…I hope you know you can tell me anything." She said with a reassuring smile.

"I know, which is why I asked you to come. I know I have to eventually tell Aria too, but I couldn't handle telling you both right now."

"Just Aria? Does Hanna already know?" Spencer asked. There was something in her voice though that made it seem like she already knew the answer.

"It's about Hanna and yes Hanna knows some of what I am about to tell you, but certainly not all of it and I need you to promise me that you'll keep it that way."

"I promise, Em. I won't say anything to anyone that you don't want me to. You can trust me." She said with complete sincerity.

With Spencer's promise, I began rehashing the details of my night with Hanna. I expected Spencer to be shocked, but she just sat there quietly waiting for me to finish. How could she have known already? Maybe she was just trying to keep a straight face so that I wouldn't read too much into her expression. When I finally told her everything about that night and the days afterwards, she finally spoke.

"I'm sorry Em. I wish I would've known then, I could have found a way to be there for you. But it seems like you and Hanna must have put this past you because you have become friends again, right?"

"Yes, we are friends again, but it's not the same." After I long pause and a deep breath, I continued, "Spence…I think I'm still in love with her." I confessed barely above a whisper. "And now my mom and Mrs. Marin arranged me to move in with her. How can I live with her? It's hard enough just seeing her every day. If I live with her, there will be a lot of alone time and we have both tried to avoid that at all costs. I don't want to slip up. I don't want to make the same mistake I made last time by thinking we could actually be something. I don't want to get my heart broken again." The last few sentences came out between broken sobs.

Spencer's POV

As Emily poured her heart out to me, I readjusted myself on the window-seat so that I was holding her as she cried into her shoulder. This shoulder has had plenty of use tonight and while I hate seeing my best friends so upset, I'm glad they know they can come to me for comfort.

When she finally finished her confession, there was only one question that I needed to ask, but that I had to be careful how I phrased it.

"Em, I have to ask…If Hanna felt the same way or ever wanted to try again with you, how would you feel about that?" I asked hoping that I didn't jeopardize Hanna's trust in me or let Emily know how Hanna really felt.

After thinking for several minutes, Emily finally responded, "Honestly, I don't know. I don't even really want to think about it because it isn't a possibility. She's with Caleb and more importantly, not gay. But even if those weren't factors, I don't know if I could be with her. I don't know if I could ever really trust her with my heart after she shattered it to pieces."

Hearing Emily say those words broke my heart for Hanna. She had screwed up and Emily may never be able to give her the chance to fix it. It didn't matter that they both loved each other. Too much had happened. If Emily didn't trust Hanna, there is no way they would ever work.

Not knowing what to say in response, I decided to change the topic back to the issue of moving in. "Well, if you don't want to be with her, then maybe it won't be so bad living together. Maybe it'll allow you to transform that love back to friendship and work on rebuilding that trust?" I said but it came out as a question, hoping that if Emily could trust her again, they could eventually make it work. "I know it'll be hard at first, but we're here for you. You can always come crash at my place if things ever get too hard with her."

"Thanks Spence. I don't know what I would do without you. I know it's going to be hard to be so close to Hanna, but you're right. I need to focus on just being her friend and nothing more. And now that I am staying, this is perfect because I can finally have the commitment talk with Samara! If I'm with Samara and Hanna is with Caleb, maybe any tension between us will just away!"

Crap! How did me getting her to trust Hanna again turn into her getting into a relationship with Samara? I totally screwed this up…I hope Aria doesn't kill me for this!

As I was stressing about accidently putting another barrier between two of my best friends who should be together, Emily spoke again.

"Thanks for everything Spence! It's getting late so you should probably go. I think I'm going to text Samara. Hopefully she'll still be up!"


	17. Chapter 17

Hanna's POV

After tossing and turning all night, stressing out about Emily, I finally decided to get up and get some coffee. I knew I would need plenty since I didn't get any rest. I made my way downstairs to find my mother and father laughing on the patio. It was odd, but in a good way, to see them together again. I wasn't really sure what was going on between them, but it was nice having him around the house.

Not wanting to disturb their playful banter, I quickly helped myself to a cup of coffee and went to the living room. After quickly realizing nothing good was on television this early on a Saturday, I grabbed my laptop. First I checked my email, watching a couple stupid videos that Lucas had sent me, and then I logged on Facebook to see what the rest of the world was up to.

With my new Facebook settings, anything that it deemed important was always at the top of my feed. Since Aria, Spencer, and Emily were set as my favorites, their information always came first. Aria must have been on her way to Mr. Fitz's place for their usual lazy Saturday together because she had posted some lines of poetry as her status just a few minutes ago. It's a good thing that her parents aren't technology savvy or they would have caught onto their daughter's affair months ago. Aria didn't even really bother to hide it on face book. I mean she never used his name but anyone who knew her had to know what she was referencing immediately.

After reading Aria's poem, unsure of whether she wrote it or if she was quoting someone else, I scrolled down to the next post. As I read the status update I ended up spilling the hot coffee all over myself and the couch. If it hadn't scalded my leg, I doubt I would have even been able to move from that spot to clean up the mess. After drying myself and the couch off, I went back to my laptop to read it again. I couldn't believe that it was true.

_Emily Fields is in a relationship with Samara Cook. _

I re-read it close to a hundred times before I could really let it sink in. How could she do that? Didn't she feel the spark when she grabbed my hand last night? Was I imagining it all?

Before having enough time to collect my thoughts, the doorbell rang. I tried to get up from the couch but it felt like I was glued in place. My mother answered the door and my fears were confirmed as I heard "Oh hi Pam, how are you? Emily, good to see you as always. Let me get Hanna to show you to your room….Hanna, can you come help with Emily's bags?"

Slowly dragging myself from the living room to the front door, I could feel everyone's eyes on me as I approached. I was still in my ratty pjs with a huge coffee stain down the front, messy hair, and puffy red eyes. I heard my mom make some joke about how I'm not much of a morning person, but I couldn't laugh or even take my eyes off of Emily. She did her best to make small talk with my mother while she avoided my gaze but I knew she could tell I was watching her.

After a few minutes that seemed like an eternity, Mrs. Fields and my mom went into the kitchen to discuss the finer details of Emily moving in while I was supposed to show Emily her room and help her get settled.

We climbed the stairs and walked down the hall to the spare bedroom in complete silence. I opened the door and let her walk in first. The room was a basic guest room with no real personality, but it had the essentials.

Once we put her bags down I showed her the en-suite bathroom connected to her room. Unfortunately though, we had been having some issues with the plumbing on that side of the house. I explained to her that until we were able to get someone out to fix it, she would have to use my bathroom to shower. As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I immediately saw her tense up. The word "shower" brought back far too many memories for both of us.

Wanting to move past the awkwardness, I tried to change the subject. Not knowing what was appropriate to discuss I asked her about swimming and school. Eventually we transitioned to our plans for the rest of the weekend. We were supposed to all get together on Sunday at Spencer's house to study for a huge History exam we had on Monday. I noticed when we were discussing the weekend that she conveniently left out her plans for tonight.

Hoping to subtly address the elephant in the room I mention that I had plans to go out with Caleb that evening to play mini-golf. Her mood changed momentarily at the mention of Caleb. It was so fast that I almost didn't notice and probably wouldn't have if I hadn't been trying to gauge her reaction. Now that the window was open, I stepped through it and asked what her plans were for the night. When she mentioned that she was going to spend time with Samara, my heart sunk. I knew that she was, but hearing it was harder than I thought it would be. I played it cool and told her that I was happy for it. Not sure if she believed it, but she thanked me anyway.

Just as we were almost home-free and about to drift the conversation I heard myself saying, "Why don't you come mini-golfing with Caleb and I?"

OMG! Why did I say that? Am I an idiot? All I could chant in my head was 'Please say no, please say no, please…" over and over again.

Emily's POV

I was pretty nervous about going over to Hanna's today, but overall I was in a pretty good mood. I had ended up talking on the phone with Samara last night for almost an hour. I told her how I felt seeing her with Quinn, how I wasn't moving to Texas anymore, and how I thought we should be exclusive. She agreed whole heartedly, reconfirming again that Quinn was just a friend, but that she did want to be my girlfriend. The conversation was easy and light, like most things with Samara. We weren't complicated and we rarely had any drama, it was a nice change of a pace.

When my mom and I got to the Marin house, Mrs. Marin answered the door and Hanna came a few minutes later. She looked terrible and like she had been crying all night. I suddenly felt guilty for my good mood when she was clearly upset about Ali's dedication last night or maybe she was upset or feeling guilty because of our interactions last night. I really wanted to focus on being friends though, so I had to keep my composure and not start uncomfortable conversations.

Soon Hanna and I went upstairs to my new room and put my first set of bags down. She explained where everything was in the room and showed me the bathroom. I guess the shower wasn't working so I would have to use hers for the next few weeks. I really hoped she hadn't noticed me tense up when she said to use her shower. I think I hid it pretty well, but still even the mention of a shower, in the most innocent of situations, always makes me think of that night.

Soon we got into our rhythm as friends and talked about the weekend. I didn't really want to bring Samara up, just in case it could make things awkward again, but when she mentioned Caleb, I figured that significant others were fair game to discuss. Plus Samara was my girlfriend now, I needed to become more comfortable talking to Hanna about her, since she will probably come over to the house on occasion.

What Hanna said next completely took me by surprise. "Why don't you come mini-golfing with Caleb and I?"

After practically choking on my own saliva, I was able to respond "You mean like on a double date? Do you really think that's a good idea?"

After pausing for a split second, she responded, "Sure. I mean now that you and Samara are official, I need to get to know her better. Why not start tonight?"

"Umm…ok I guess. I mean I'll ask her if she wants to." I said while pulling out my phone to text Samara.

A part of me was hoping that she wouldn't want to go, but I knew Samara and she had mentioned wanting to get to know my friends better on a few occasions. And right on cue, my phone buzzed. "Hi Gorgeous! That sounds like fun, I'd love to double with them! I can't wait to see you tonight!"

"Samara just texted…She's in." I said as I saw Hanna force a smile. It was odd. This was her idea but the expression on her face was almost pained.

Hanna's POV

"You mean like on a double date? Do you really think that's a good idea?" Emily asked giving me a knowing look after she wiped the shock off her face.

NO! I thought it was a terrible idea, but I couldn't say that now. I had to just go with it.

Emily texted Samara to double check and I had my fingers crossed that she would say no, but to no avail.

I guess it's official. Tonight I will be going on a date with my boyfriend, the girl I'm secretly in love with, and her new girlfriend. This is going to be a disaster…


	18. Chapter 18

"You agreed to do what?!" Spencer yelled through the phone.

"I know…but I couldn't say no or she would know something was up. I should have just pretended to text Samara and then tell Hanna she said no, but I was too panicked to think of it at the time…"

"Wow…so what are you going to do?"

"What do you mean? I'm going to mini-golfing and it'll be fine. I'll be polite and civilized the whole time." I said rather unconvincingly.

"You're always nice Em, but the problem is that Hanna knows you and she will probably be able to tell how you're feeling, so you're going to need to keep yourself in check unless you want this to blow up in your face."

_Ding. Dong._

"Oh shit…Samara's already here. I gotta go Spence, wish me luck." I said, hanging up before Spencer could even respond.

Bounding the stairs to grab the door, my mom beat me to it and let Samara in. She looked amazing. She was dressed simply in jeans and a light blue tank top that matched her eyes perfectly. The cut of her top gave just enough hint of cleavage to be teasing, which she knew drove me crazy.

Suddenly I was feeling less nervous about tonight. If I could just make sure to focus on Samara, it'll be easy not to notice Hanna….right?

Catching me staring at her Samara smiled and greeted me with a tight hug. Had my mother not been standing there I'm sure it would have been a kiss. Samara was very comfortable with who she was and public displays of affection, but she knew we still had to tread lightly with my mom.

As she pulled away she whispered in my air, "You look beautiful, girlfriend of mine" causing both goose-bumps and a blush to rise on my neck. Thankfully during our exchange my mother had excused herself to the kitchen to continue packing.

Coughing to cover my embarrassment and arousal, I quickly looked at my watch. "Wow it's 10 til 8, are you ready to head out?" I asked her.

"Sure babe, let's go. This will be fun. I feel like I know Hanna the least out of your friends so this will be a great change to bond!" She said with genuine excitement. God, if she only knew, she would definitely not be happy about this double date.

Hanna's POV

As soon as we got to the mini-golf course Caleb got a "business" phone call and went back to the car. Now I'm standing here by myself waiting for Emily to show up for what is sure to be the most awkward date in the history of the world.

I wonder if Samara knows what she's walking into. Probably not or she wouldn't have agreed to come. Or maybe she does know and wants to send a clear message that I screwed up and can't have her back even if I wanted her.

Caught up in my own thoughts, I didn't see Emily and Samara pull up. When I finally noticed them walking towards me hand-in-hand I plastered the biggest fake smile on my face I could muster while my heart bled out all over the ground. I don't know how I thought I could handle this…

After a few minutes of awkward small talk with Samara, Caleb finally came back over. However obvious it may have been, I immediately locked hands with him and draped myself all over him. I noticed Emily give me a weird look but I ignored it and turned my attention back toward Caleb.

We soon headed over to the clubhouse to get our balls, clubs, and scorecards. Thankfully this date was more of an activity that would give us something to do besides talking like if we had all gone to dinner together. Maybe a movie would have been better, that wouldn't have any talking. Although if they had started making out, I would have torn out Samara's pretty blonde hair, which probably would blow my cover.

At first the date seemed to be going well. I continued to hang on Caleb and I could see that Emily was doing the same with Samara, but hers might have been for the right reasons, while mine weren't.

I did feel bad about using Caleb, because I really did care about him. When we started dating I did like him and thought maybe he would be enough for me. I even lost my virginity to him hoping it would make everything perfect. It didn't. It only made it worse and reminded me how I should have had that experience with Emily that night in the cabin. How even the simplest kisses with her affected me more than anything and everything I had done with Caleb.

I think Caleb could tell that something was up about halfway through the course. While we didn't shy away from PDA when it was necessary, we weren't normally all that affectionate in public. When we stopped after the 9th hole so Samara and Emily could get a drink, he asked me why I was acting so weird.

"Is this about Emily?" He asked. "You guys have been acting weird with each other all night. Did something happen I need to know about?"

I tried to play it off like I had missed him and was just happy to be with him. I don't know if he believed me but he didn't push the issue, at least not with me.

When Emily and Samara returned, something in Caleb's mood had clearly changed. He and Emily were tied going into the 10th hole and suddenly it was as if he was playing for his own life. He played the next few holes as if he was competing with only Emily. The weird thing was that she played the same back at him. It was as if Samara and I didn't matter anymore, they were battling with each other. At one point they even advanced to the next hole before either of us had even gotten the ball on the previous one.

I could tell that Samara knew something was up. Emily had been hanging on her all night, whispering in her ear, kissing her neck, holding her hand. All things that made my blood boil. I swear several times she looked at me to gauge my reaction as if she were doing them to make me jealous. It was working, but I wouldn't let her know that.

She was clearly trying to punish me for what happened before. I made my bed and now she's going to make sure I lie in it and watch her be happy with someone else. I deserved that I suppose, but it didn't make it any easier to live through.

Emily's POV

Look at her, hanging all over him. Why was she doing that? Was she trying to flaunt him in my face? I had seen them together dozens of times before, I don't know why she was acting so weird this time. Did it have to do with Samara? If it did, then why did she even suggest this. I was really hoping that this could help restore our friendship, but she seems to be making it into a competition.

Normally I would have tried to rise above her games but I couldn't help myself. The more she draped herself on Caleb the more affectionate I was with Samara. I could tell Samara loved it. It drove her crazy when I whispered in her ear and bit at the soft skin of her neck.

It got so heated at one point that she made a lame excuse about needing a drink.I was heading over to the concession area when she dragged me behind the clubhouse and slammed me against the wall, assaulting my mouth with her own.

In between her heated kisses and moaning I could hear her whisper "Em, you've been driving me crazy all night…I want you so bad…" This should have sent me over the moon, but it didn't. Instead I felt guilty. Samara was worked up because I was playing some kind of twisted unspoken game with Hanna. But I had to admit, kissing Samara like this was a pretty nice perk. She was a great kisser and had an amazing body. It was easy to want her, and I did. My raging hormones wanted her badly. But deep down I wasn't sure if my heart did.

After a few more minutes making out, I pulled away knowing we had to head back before Hanna and Caleb came looking for us. It was one thing to flirt and touch Samara in front of Hanna but it was entirely different to have Hanna see them practically dry humping each other in public.

When we returned there was a palpable tension between Hanna and Caleb. Hanna was no longer attached at his hip and his mood had definitely changed. Not only had it changed towards Hanna, he was different with me too. I had never seen him angry or competitive, but suddenly he was both. The next several holes he made it clear that we were in some sort of competition with each other.

Never backing down for a fight and naturally competitive myself, I played along. By the last hole I had the lead over him which was really pissing him off. When I got the final ball in on the first try, he slammed his club against the ground practically breaking it in half. I looked over at Hanna who was clearly embarrassed at his behavior.

Figuring they might need a minute I whispered to Samara that maybe we should go get some ice cream when he interrupted. "Don't bother! I'll leave so you girls can keep all your precious secrets!"

As he stormed off, Hanna looked both confused and guilty. Giving us a quick apology, she ran after him towards the parking lot. Still stunned from Caleb's uncharacteristic outburst, Samara and I just stared after Hanna as she ran to her car.

Samara grabbed my hand and took me over to one of the benches to relax and give them space. I tried to ignoring them but it was clear they were having a very heated argument. The only thing I did hear was Caleb yelling just before Hanna's car doors slammed and they drove away.

"I know you're keeping something from me Hanna! I'm not an idiot. What does Emily know that I don't?!"

"Wow, that was intense. Do you know what happened? What were they fighting about? It seemed to have something to do with you…" Samara asked tentatively as if afraid of what the answer would be.

"I don't know…that was really weird. I've never seen him like that…" I half lied. I hadn't ever seen him like that and I didn't know what specifically Hanna had told him. Based on his sudden need to beat me, he must have realized something happened between Hanna and her. When he finally did figure it, or if she eventually told him, it would only be a matter of time before my behavior tonight will come back to bite me in the ass.


	19. Chapter 19

Caleb's POV

"I know you're keeping something from me Hanna! I'm not an idiot. What does Emily know that I don't?!" I screamed at her in the parking lot.

Not wanting to cause a bigger scene in public, Hanna got in the car, assuming I would follow. Once we were both in the car, I just stared at her, waiting for a response. Every second of silence only seemed to further ignite my fury.

After minutes of silence, I knew I had to give her a final ultimatum. "Either you tell me what the hell was going on tonight or I'm done. I can't keep putting myself out there for you when you don't trust me…"

"Caleb, it's not that I don't trust you…it's just not something that's easy to talk about." she responded quietly.

"Bottom line is that you have secrets that you're keeping from me Hanna, and I need to know what they are."

Knowing she was backed into a corner, she caved and started her explanation. She told me about taking care of Emily after Alison's disappearance, their weekend trip to the cabin that was cut short, why they left, and what had almost happened before Hanna spoke to her mother. She even went on to explain what happened between her and Emily when they returned to Rosewood. That they fell out of touch, but that it was Hanna's fault.

Towards the end of her confession, I could hear the words breaking as she tried to speak and the tears welling up in her eyes. Suddenly I felt guilty for forcing her to tell me. I wouldn't have guessed her secret correctly but now that I knew, I could see the signs looking back. They were usually more careful with each other than they were with the others. Also, the way they acted with each other tonight, as if trying to flaunt their relationships in each other's faces.

And then it occurred to me. She didn't keep this from me because she felt guilty about how she treated Emily. She kept it a secret and is now sobbing quietly next to me because she still has feelings for Emily. Once I made the realization, I knew it was true, but I still had to hear it from her.

"Hanna…I need to know. Do you still have feelings for Emily? Please tell me the truth." I asked carefully, bracing myself for the confirmation.

"Yes" she whispered quietly as she hid her face from mine. "I'm so sorry…"

At that moment, my heart broke into a million pieces. She still wanted her and wanted to be with her. I was just the rebound or stand-in. It wasn't fair to me for her to use me the way she did tonight, and perhaps during our entire relationship. But at the end of the day, I wanted her to be happy. If she has feelings for Emily, she needs to have the opportunity to explore them.

I now knew that I wasn't enough for her and that I had to walk away. I looked over at her and she looked back through tear filled eyes, unsure of what to say next. I pulled her into my arms, for one final embrace. I held her for only a few seconds and letting go was the hardest thing I had ever done. Finally I leaned over and kissed her gently on the forehead before whispering "Goodbye Hanna."

As I stepped out of the car I could hear her crying increase and between gasps of breath I heard her say "I really am sorry."

I shut the car door and as I walked away muttered "I know." to myself.

I knew she was sorry and that she did care about me, but as much as she tried, she never stopped loving Emily. If I was the one she wanted, she wouldn't have let me leave. I suspected that tears were not because I was walking away from her, they were because she knew she hurt me in the process.

Samara's POV

What a night! So much for a fun and relaxing night of mini-golf. Becoming official must have really changed Emily's opinion on PDA because she was definitely all over me tonight. Not that I minded of course, it was just unusual for her to be so affectionate. It was definitely hard to keep myself in check when she was whispering in my ear and pressing her body against mine. I got so worked up at one point that I had to pull away. I meant to get her alone to ask what the sudden change was, but when I took her behind the snack shop, she looked at me with those beautiful dark eyes and I lost all self-control.

It felt like time stopped when we kissed. There was this burning passion in our kisses that left me gasping for air when we finally pulled away. When we finally got back to golfing, I could tell that Hanna and Caleb were fighting about something, because he was definitely pissed and she stayed pretty quiet. I found it odd that for the next several holes he tried to start a pissing contest with Emily, which surprisingly she played in to. When she finally beat him, he snapped at us and stormed off.

When I asked Emily about it, she didn't seem to know what was going on with them. We could hear them fighting in the parking but eventually we saw Hanna drive away, so we figured they must have worked it out.

Since they stormed off right after golfing, it was still pretty early and I definitely didn't want to say goodnight just yet, I invited Emily back to my place. My parents had gone into Philadelphia for the night and I was definitely hoping to restart where we left off behind the concession stand.

As we drove back to my place I could tell something was on her mind, but she didn't seem like she wanted to share, so I didn't push her. When we finally arrived at my house, I gave her the grand tour including the living room, kitchen, den, my father's screening room, and finally, and most importantly, my bedroom.

She walked around my room for several minutes in silence. She was looking at my old soccer trophies, picture albums, CD collection, books, and finally stopped in front of my bed, glancing back at me.

"Like what you see?" I said to her with flirty and somewhat seductive tone in my voice.

Catching my playfulness, she bit her lip in the way she knew drove me crazy and responded. "Definitely can't complain about the view."

While I did have a great view of the garden out my window, her eyes were glued to my cleavage as she spoke, making it clear that she had the same thoughts I did about coming over.

Without a second thought I closed the distance between us. As I reached her I pulled her roughly into me and kissed her as hard as I could. She immediately pressed her body against mine and kissed me back with the same urgency.

Slowly I began guiding her back, never breaking contact with each other's bodies, towards the bed. As the back of her knees hit the bed, she lowered herself onto the edge so that she was sitting. We broke apart for a brief moment. As she looked at me, I could see the desire burning in her eyes.

I bent down slightly that we were eye level again but didn't kiss her. I stared into her beautiful eyes as my hands moved down to the hem of her tank top. I hesitated briefly, only to give Emily a chance to object. Instead she lifted her arms above her head, allowing me to easily remove her shirt.

My breath caught in my throat when I looked down at her and realized that she hadn't been wearing a bra. She was easily the most beautiful woman I had ever laid my eyes on and she was now half naked in my bed. As I let my eyes roam over her naked torso, I expected her to become anxious or nervous.

However, instead of shying away from my gaze, she let my eyes linger of her body as she tugged on the bottom of my own shirt, silently begging me to take it off. As I removed my own shirt, I lowered myself to straddle Emily on the bed. Sitting on top of her lap, I reconnected our lips in a swift and urgent motion. As we continued kissing I reached between us to feel her breasts. She must have had the same idea because her hands went directly to my back to unclasp my bra, allowing my breast to spill out and press against hers.

The sensation of her skin on mine was incredible, but it wasn't enough. I climbed off of Emily's lap and stood before her at the end of the bed. Much to my surprise, I felt Emily reach for my jeans and unbutton them. She guided the zipper down teasingly slow as she planted soft kisses along my stomach, making my knees weak.

She carefully pulled away from my stomach and slid my pants down my legs while staring up at me, making sure I was okay with where this was going. I gave her a reassuring smile as I wiggled the jeans from my legs. Standing in front of her in only my underwear, I saw her lay herself down on the bed giving me permission to remove her pants as well. As I pulled them from her long tanned legs I once again marveled at her beauty.

Squirming slightly this time under my gaze, she climbed her way up the bed allowing me to lower myself on top of her. As my body pressed into hers, I could feel her moan into my mouth. The urgency of our kissing increased as our hands explored each other's bodies and we began slowly grinding against each other. I had slid my leg up to rest between hers and I could feel through her underwear how excited she was. Knowing I had this effect on her only added to my building confidence as I reached down to remove her last piece of clothing. She lifted her hips allowing me easier access to guide her underwear down her legs and finally onto the floor.

As I stretched up to kiss her again, she surprised me by switching our positions. She was now on top of me and quickly began exploring my body with her mouth. She kissed down my neck searching for that spot just above my collarbone that she knew drove me wild. As she found it, she bit down making me moan and press my body up against hers for more contact. She was marking me and I loved it. I loved the idea of being hers. It only made me want her that much more.

After gently licking the wound she had left on my skin, she moved further down my body to my breasts. Weighing them first in her hands, she began to lick circles around my breasts, teasing me even further. I was now squirming beneath her, trying to adjust my body so that her tongue would make contact with my now aching nipples. Finally she gave in and flicked her tongue across my right nipple. I immediately groaned and arched my body up into hers as she began sucking on them, making sure to switch sides and provide equal attention to both breasts.

Moving further down, she began kissing across my stomach. Her tongue trailed the edges of my abs and dipped into my bellybutton before stopping just above my underwear. Before tonight I would have assumed that Emily was a virgin but based on confidence level and amazing ability to tease me until I couldn't think straight had me wondering if she had been with someone else. Not looking to feel a sudden rush of jealousy, I focused my attention back on Emily, who was now gliding my underwear down my legs.

After discarding the final barrier between us, she climbed back up my body so that she was laying on top of me and able to kiss my waiting lips passionately. I knew we both wanted this and while we had only become official last night, I didn't want to wait. I needed her now and based on her jet black eyes, I think she wanted me just as much.

As she stared into my eyes, looking for permission, I felt her hand slowly train down my legs and stop just before reaching where I needed her most. Resting her hand in the apex of my legs, she leaned down and kissed me. This kiss didn't have the urgency of the previous kisses, it was gentle and full of meaning. Just as she was beginning to deepen the kiss, I heard her phone go off from her purse at the bottom of the bed.

Having clearly distracted her, she pulled away from the kiss. When I opened my eyes to look at her, the color from her face was completely drained. She was no longer flushed with desire. Her eyes were distant and far away, as if she was remembering something or somewhere else entirely. Worried that something was wrong, I reached up to cup her face, caressing it gently with my fingers.

When she finally snapped out of her trance, she wouldn't even look at me. In a flash she removed her hand from me, pulled out of my embrace, and climbed off the bed. Searching the floor frantically for her clothes she gathered them and quickly threw them on.

Just as she reached the door, she looked back at me, tears streaming down her checks, and said, "I can't do this…I'm sorry…" before running downstairs and out the front door.

Unsure of what just happened, I felt frozen in place. One second we were naked, in bed together, about to make love to each other, and the next Emily was running out the door crying. I laid there completely stunned.

Did I do something wrong? Did I push her too far? She seemed just as into it as I was and she was the one setting the pace… Did it have something to do with the text she got? It was a generic ringtone so it's not like she could've known who it was from. Maybe it was just the simple reminder of the world outside of this bedroom that scared her. Either way, why did she leave the way she did? We could've stopped or slowed things down. Sure I was worked up and wanted her desperately, but I would have been content to just hold her in my arms and not take things any further until she was ready.

As I laid there I kept replaying Emily's departure over and over in my head. No matter how long I thought about it, I couldn't come up with an explanation. I tried calling her, knowing her phone wasn't on vibrate, she would hear it, but she didn't answer. I left a voicemail apologizing for pushing her too far and begging for her to call me back so we could talk.

As I hung up, I couldn't shake the feeling in the pit of my stomach and in the back of my mind that I would never get a chance to fix this and that I might not even find out what I did wrong.


	20. Chapter 20

Emily's POV

In a matter of a few minutes I went from lying naked on top of my beautiful and extremely willing girlfriend to running frantically down the streets of Rosewood. I didn't even have a destination in mind, I just knew I had to leave.

We were lying there, just about to have sex and my phone beeped. Most people would probably just ignore it or even stop to check it. I did neither. Instead I froze as memories of that night with Hanna came flooding back to me. That night it was her phone that went off, but at almost exactly the same time when they were in the same position.

As those feelings and memories began to wash over me, I couldn't even look at Samara. She knew something was wrong but was waiting patiently for me. I could feel her gently caressing my face, trying to soothe me, and it was suddenly too much. I had to go, I had to leave right then and it couldn't wait another second.

I pulled away from her, grabbed my clothes, and ran out of the room and away from her. As I left I could see she was frozen in place where I left her. My eyes immediately filled with tears knowing that I was breaking her heart but all I could do was tell her that I couldn't do this with her and that I was sorry.

I ran for what felt like hours, but it couldn't have been more than fifteen minutes when I found myself standing in front of Spencer's house. It wasn't late, but I wasn't sure if her parents were home so I grabbed my phone to call her when I realized I still hadn't looked at the text from earlier.

When I went into my messages I saw that it was Spencer who texted me, but I almost dropped my phone when I read her message.

"Hanna is on her way over here. Caleb broke up with her tonight and she's a mess. I know you guys have issues and I'm not trying to push you two together, but she needs you more than she needs me right now. Can you please come?"

My mind was reeling. I knew Caleb was mad, but I can't believe he would break up with her. He loved her more than anything. I remembered his comment at mini-golf about secrets and that he had been screaming in the parking lot and mentioned my name. And before I could even think the words, I knew what happened.

She told him. She told him about that night.

But why would he leave her for that? It's not like Hanna cheated on him, she hadn't even met him yet and it was over a year ago.

With a million questions now running through my head, I knew I couldn't go in there. I just walked out on Samara over old memories of Hanna. I couldn't sit in Spencer's room and comfort Hanna without knowing what I wanted.

I quickly texted Spencer back knowing Hanna was probably already there since it had been a while since she originally received the text at Samara's. "Sorry Spence. I can't. I'm spending the night at Samara's." I don't know why I lied to her but it seemed like the best way to make it clear to Spencer that she couldn't be the one to comfort Hanna without explaining too much in case Aria or Hanna saw her phone.

My heart belonged to Hanna, and had ever since that night, maybe even before it. My body was still overly excited from the night's activities with Samara and was pulling me back there wanting the satisfaction that it was longing for. And my head had no idea which part of my anatomy to listen to.

'Here's to another sleepless night' I thought to myself as I slowly began walking home, remembering once again that starting tomorrow, my new 'home' was going to be at the Marin's and that I couldn't avoid Hanna forever.

Spencer's POV

Hanna finally cried herself to sleep. I know she feels terrible that Caleb broke up with her and that she hurt him, but I know the real reason she was so upset is her finally coming to terms with how she feels about Emily. While she likes to put on a brave face, I know she's terrified to love someone the way that she does for Emily. Emily owns Hanna's heart and allowing her to know that makes her incredibly vulnerable. Hanna doesn't like feeling vulnerable, she sees it a step backwards to who she used to be.

Where the hell was Emily? It's been a half an hour and she hasn't responded. Emily always has her phone with her and almost never puts it on silent. Maybe it died? That's a definite possibility; she was always forgetting to charge it.

Assuming that she might still be with Samara, I looked through my contacts and called her.

"Hello?" Samara answered but sounded like she had been crying.

"Hey Samara! Sorry to bother you, but are you still with Emily? I texted her earlier and haven't heard back, it's a bit of an emergency."

"Umm, no. She left a while ago." Samara said quietly, clearing holding something back.

"Do you know if she went home? I really need to find her." I pushed hoping to get a little more details on where Emily might be.

"Look Spencer. I don't know where she is. She left here abruptly and just ran out the door. I've been calling her and she won't pick up. She clearly doesn't want to talk to me, so I don't think I'm going to be able to help you. If I hear from her, I'll let you know. Sorry." She blurted out just before hanging up.

Whoa! Samara is usually pretty even keeled and she's definitely upset. Something big must have happened tonight. This was obviously the double date from hell if Hanna got herself dumped and Emily is MIA leaving behind a confused and clearly hurt girlfriend.

Just as I was imagining different scenarios from the night based on what Hanna had told me, my phone beeped. It's Emily…thank god she's ok!

As I read her text, my face fell. "Sorry Spence. I can't. I'm spending the night at Samara's."

Why would Emily lie to me? She was clearly not with Samara. Why did she want me to think she was spending the night with her? Did she think that maybe it would get back to Hanna? Did she want Hanna to think that they slept together?

Ugh! Why can't these girls just be honest with each other?! They both care about each and both clearly have feelings for each other. I know Aria and I promised not to interfere, but I honestly I don't know how much longer I can sit idly by watching them play these games. Especially when they keep hurting each other, and other people in their lives, along the way.


	21. Chapter 21

Hanna's POV

I woke up in Spencer's bed to the sound of a phone vibrating on the nightstand. Assuming it was mine, I grabbed for the phone to check the message. Realizing soon after that it was Spencer's phone, not mine. As I went to put the phone back, curiosity got the best of me. I could see that the message was from Emily and I couldn't help myself.

Quickly checking to make sure Spencer was still asleep, knowing she'd kill me for snooping, I quietly opened her phone to read the message.

The one Emily sent this morning said "Sorry I couldn't make it over last night. How is she?"

What? Why was Emily going to come over last night? Did Spencer tell Emily everything I confided in her and Aria that night? I trusted her!

Just before putting the phone back and storming out of the room, I noticed Emily's text from the night before, just above her new one. As I read each word I could feel my heart sinking in my chest.

Emily stayed at Samara's last night… Based on how affectionate they were with each other at mini-golf and how they snuck off to go make out, I could only imagine what ended up happening between them last night. But I knew Emily. She wouldn't have had sex so soon into a new relationship…would she? I tried convincing myself that she wouldn't rush into things like that, I couldn't help but think back to our night together. We weren't even a couple and we would have sex if we hadn't been interrupted by my phone.

Suddenly I felt sick to my stomach. Still mad at Spencer for obviously abusing my trust, I climbed out of bed and left without waking her to say goodbye. I'm sure that she had a good reason for asking Emily to come over, but I couldn't think of any other than Spencer told Emily how I feel about her. It's not like Emily would've told Spencer about that night. It was clear that Spencer didn't know when I confessed to her an Aria two nights ago.

When I pulled in my driveway I noticed that Emily's car and her mom's SUV were parked out front. Given everything that had happened last night and this morning, I had completely forgotten that Emily was moving in this morning.

When I walked through the door my mom gave me a stern look over Mrs. Fields' shoulder, probably mad that I didn't let her know in advance that I was staying at Spencer's. As I walked towards them I could hear Emily coming down the stairs. She met us in the kitchen and announced that all her bags and boxes were upstairs.

I watched Emily as she spoke to her mother and mine. Something was different about her, and I had a pretty good idea it had to do with last night. I know that she noticed my gaze but refused to look at me directly. She spoke to me, but only when necessary for the conversation. She was clearly keeping her distance. I just wasn't sure why.

Emily's POV

I have been staying with the Marin's for five days now and I'm hoping things start to feel like normal soon. It's nearly impossible to avoid someone you live with, but I've been doing a fairly good job. I had morning swim practice so I always left the house before Hanna was even awake, I started swimming extra laps during lunch, and then had practice again after school. Swimming three times a day is totally helping to strengthen my core, but is really starting to take a toll on my body. I swear I've used an entire tube of pain cream in the last 2 days alone.

Even though I'm in pain, I'm excited for the swim meet this afternoon. It's against a rival team and the scout from Danby is going to be there to watch me swim. I was going to be competing in several key swims by myself and anchoring our relay team, so there was a lot of pressure on my shoulders. I wasn't normally one to stress myself out, but I will admit with everything going on in my life right now, I was definitely stressing.

I haven't spoken to Samara still since Saturday. She has called or texted every day this week, but I just haven't been able to bring myself to call her back. She got so desperate that she even called Spencer to make sure I was still alive. I know it's not fair to shut her out of my life, but I can't deal with that part of my life right now. As hard as it may be, I need to avoid the two of them until I can figure out my feelings and what I want, if I even want either of them in the end.

After a long day of classes, the final bell rang and I could feel the pre-meet jitters in my stomach. I loved that fluttery feeling that I would get before a race, but this felt different for some reason. Almost painful. Assuming it was just because of my heavy workouts, I went to my locker to get some more pain cream before heading to the pool.

Right when I got to my locker, Hanna came darting around the corner towards me. She came out of nowhere as if she had been hiding from me, knowing that if I saw her, I'd turn and walk the other way. Which I probably would have. Her sneak attack has now left me without an escape route. Trying to avoid eye contact as I emptied my books from my backpack and grabbed my duffle bag, I heard Hanna sigh and finally speak "Em…please look at me. I know you're avoiding me, but we need to talk. I need to tell you something."

Feeling the pain in my stomach I clutched at my side, unable to respond to her. Knowing I needed to get to the gym soon, I decided that maybe ignoring her and walking away would send a clearer message that I needed space than actually talking to her.

As I closed my locker, I felt her grab for my arm trying to keep me in front of her. I could see the pain in her eyes as I snatched my arm back and turned away from her.

"Emily…wait!" Hanna screamed after me. "Can you please just stop?! I'm trying to tell you that in love with you!"

My eyes widened at her yelled confession and I stopped dead in my tracks. As I turned to look at her, I heard a familiar voice.

"What?! Is this why you are avoiding me Emily? Why did you ask me to be your girlfriend if you were dating her? Is this why you left the other night upset?" Samara spat at me, more hurt than actually angry.

Before I was able to respond to Samara or deal with Hanna's declaration I felt a blinding pain sear through my body. The next thing I knew I was clutching at my abdomen and screaming. I could hear both of them yelling down the hall for help as I laid on the floor by my locker, unable to move because of the pain ripping my body in half. It was so severe that I eventually passed out.

I woke up in a hospital bed, alone, unsure of what had happened. The only thing I could remember was Hanna telling me she was in love with me and the look of betrayal on Samara's face.


	22. Chapter 22

Hanna's POV

"…I'm trying to tell you that in love with you!" The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. I didn't mean to tell her this way and couldn't believe I actually said it out loud. It must have worked to get Emily's attention though because she stopped and started to turn around.

Just before opening her mouth to speak, I hear Samara shriek at Emily from behind me. "What?! Is this why you are avoiding me Emily? Why did you ask me to be your girlfriend if you were dating her? Is this why you left the other night upset?"

Left the other night? Did they not sleep together after all? I was clearly focusing on the wrong part of the conversation but the thought that maybe Emily hadn't gone through with having sex gave me hope. Before giving me a second to revel in the new information, I saw Emily clutch at her stomach and fall to the ground, screaming in pain.

Seeing Emily like that sent chills up my spine and got my heart racing. Both Samara and I rushed to her and started screaming for help. The pain must have been really severe because Emily passed out before the ambulance even came to take her to the hospital.

Neither Samara nor I were permitted to ride in the ambulance with her, so we both raced to the hospital behind it, knowing we needed to be there for Emily. We both sat silently on opposite sides of the waiting room hoping for an update on how she was doing. Since her parents were in Texas, her mom had to give the hospital consent to release the information to my mother as she was Emily's acting guardian for the time being.

Time seemed to stand painfully still until I caught a glimpse of my mother walking out of Emily's hospital room towards us. Standing immediately upon seeing her, I caught my mother's attention and asked about Emily. Samara stood too and came to join us, needing an update on Emily more than distance from me at the moment.

Looking back and forth between us both, she finally spoke. "Emily is going to be okay, but she's in a lot of pain. The doctors said that she had a stomach ulcer that was brought on by an excessive level of stress. What happened in that hallway that would've caused it to burst like that?"

I didn't want to lie to my mother, but I wasn't ready to tell her everything either. And I certainly didn't want to explain it all to her with Samara standing right there. Just as I was about to speak, still uncertain of what exactly I was going to say, the waiting room doors burst open and Spencer and Aria rushed towards us.

I texted them from the school as Emily was being put in the ambulance, but I knew Spencer had field hockey and Aria was with Mr. Fitz, so I wasn't sure if either them had seen their messages yet. Their timing couldn't have been more perfect. Their arrival seemed to have put my mother slightly more at ease and she didn't push the unanswered question.

She explained Emily's situation again to Spencer and Aria. We learned that Emily would have to stay in the hospital for a few days and that she had specifically requested that only Mrs. Marin, Spencer, and Aria be allowed to see her. After hearing that Samara and I were, for all intents and purposes, banned from the hospital, I knew my mother wasn't going to let this go and was going to demand more information. I just wasn't quite sure how to tell her.

Spencer's POV

After a grueling field hockey practice, I hurried to my locker to change, hoping to catch the end of Emily's big swim meet. I knew she had been stressed out all week and I wanted to show her some support.

When I got to the pool the final relay was about to start, but Emily was nowhere to be found and Paige was lined up in the anchor spot behind the other three swimmers. Something must obviously be wrong if Emily's isn't competing. She's been killing herself in the pool and weight room to prepare for it. I quickly scoured my bag for the phone and noticed I had three missed calls and several texts.

Hanna had called me twice and Samara was the third. None of them left voicemails, but Hanna had sent an SOS texts to Aria and myself, followed by a text letting us know what hospital Emily was at. OMG! I raced out of the pool towards the parking lot. I drove like a crazy woman all the way to the hospital, breaking many traffic laws along the way.

When I pulled in, I saw Aria pulling into a spot a few down from me. We both gave each other knowing looks and ran into the hospital. When we got to the waiting room, we saw Mrs. Marin talking with both Hanna and Samara. Mrs. Marin explained that Emily had a stomach ulcer that burst from all the stress she had been putting on herself.

I'm sure Mrs. Marin figured it was all about swimming, but Aria and I knew that the situation with Hanna and Samara was more likely the root cause. The excessive workouts and swimming probably just didn't help. As she continued to tell us what she knew, I was surprised to hear that Emily basically banned both Hanna and Samara from visiting her. I shot Hanna a quick look at the news and she avoided eye contact.

As soon as Mrs. Marin left and I couldn't contain my curiosity any longer. Looking at both Hanna and Samara, who hadn't spoken a single word to each other the entire time, "What the hell happened?"

Samara spoke up while Hanna put her head down in defeat, "Apparently Hanna is in love with Emily…but you probably all knew that already…" She said realizing we must have known based on the look Aria shot me.

"Hanna, you told her that you loved her?" Aria asked quietly.

"I yelled it at her more than just told her, but yeah." Hanna responded as she turned away from Samara making it a more intimate conversation between the three of us.

"Wow, what did she say? How did she react?" I asked barely restraining my burning curiosity.

"She didn't say anything. She just stared at me. And I guess Samara must have been behind me, because she heard it and starting yelling at Emily. Then Emily collapsed." Hanna explained.

"Uh guys…speaking of Samara, where did she go?" Aria asked noticing that Samara was no longer in the waiting room.

Samara's POV

I know Mrs. Marin said that Emily didn't want Hanna or me to visit but I couldn't help myself. Hanna's mom had left and the three other girls were engrossed in the story of what happened in the hallway, so it was the perfect opportunity to sneak away.

I quietly opened the door to Emily's room and I could see that she was trying to rest. I had second thoughts about disturbing here when the door creaked and she looked in my direction. Before she had a chance to object, I had to explain myself.

"Babe, I know you said you didn't want me to visit, but I needed to see you. You've been ignoring me since last weekend and I need to know why. Is it about Hanna? Please just tell me the truth. Even if it hurts its better than not knowing and making up the answers myself."

As I spoke I saw the tears form in her eyes and she looked away. Just as I was about to give up and leave, she spoke. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have ignored you like that, but I didn't know what else to do. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have feelings for Hanna, but I have feelings for you too. I thought if I kept my distance from you both I could figure out what I want, but I only made myself sick in the process."

My heart sank as she admitted her feelings for Hanna. Part of me should have known. Looking back to their behavior that night, it was obvious. She wasn't hanging on me because she wanted me, she wanted to make Hanna jealous. I wanted to be with her so badly that I looked past it all and only saw what I wanted to see. Knowing the next few questions might be the hardest things I've ever had to hear, I continued anyway.

"Do you love her?" I asked quietly.

She didn't speak for what seemed like an eternity. I couldn't tell if she was thinking and trying to decide for herself or if she just didn't want to hurt me. Finally she spoke, "Honestly, yes, I've loved her for years. But threw that away and broke my heart. I don't know if I could ever really trust her like that again."

My heart broke into a mission pieces. I had to find the courage to ask one more question that I needed to know before walking away.

"Do you love me?" I asked, holding my breath until her response.

Emily's POV

Did I love Samara? I don't know. I didn't know her the way I knew Hanna. Samara and I only met this year. I've known Hanna my whole life. It doesn't seem fair to compare the two. I knew she needed an answer, I just didn't know what to tell her.

She was great, funny, sweet, caring, and incredibly beautiful. But she wasn't Hanna. Part of me knew that no matter who I dated, I would always compare them to Hanna and no one would ever come close.

I think I could've loved Samara. Had things never happened with Hanna, Samara could've easily been 'the one.' She was everything I wanted in a girlfriend, but it wasn't enough.

Knowing I was going to have to say the words and break her heart, I began crying. I didn't know how to say the words out loud that would devastate someone and I was hoping I didn't have to.

I looked her straight in the eyes, through mine filling with tears and simply said "I'm sorry."

It seemed to be enough. I saw her heart breaking as she battled the tears that were forming in her eyes. As she reached for the door to walk out of my life, probably forever, she looked back at me and spoke.

"I do love you Emily Fields and I would have spent every day making sure you knew that. I hope Hanna does the same, because that's what you deserve. Goodbye Emily." She spoke with complete sincerity, not meaning the words maliciously, but as fact.

Part of me knew that she was in love with me. I could tell that night we were together. And while part of me needed to feel loved and wanted, I knew it wasn't right and I think that's one of the reasons I couldn't continue. It wouldn't have been fair to her to taint that experience with thoughts of someone else. She deserved someone to love her that way that she loves me. And as hard as it was to hurt her, I knew she would be happier in the long run.

My heart was no longer my own to give out. Hanna has owned it since that night and even though the thought of being with her terrified me, hearing her admit her feelings, especially publicly, was the best moment of my life. At least it was before the blinding pain.

Spencer's POV

When we realized Samara was no longer in the waiting room, we knew where she had gone. We practically had to hold Hanna down to keep her from barging into Emily's room. Hanna wanted to explain and fight for Emily. I knew was terrified that maybe she would choose Samara, but Aria and I knew Emily's true feelings. Of course those feelings were Emily's to share, so we had to keep our mouths shut as we attempted to calm Hanna down.

About 10 minutes later, when Hanna had finally relented and was sitting quietly in thought, we all heard Samara rush by us. She was practically running out of the hospital with tears streaming down her face. Samara was a sweet girl and it was hard seeing her hurt like that, but I was glad Emily was honest with her. It wasn't fair to either of them for Emily to continue to hide from her feelings.

Several seconds after Samara had left, I was surprised to see her walk back through the doors and up to Hanna. Hanna must have been just as surprised because for once she didn't speak.

"If you hurt her again, I swear to God I'll make you pay for it." Samara said in her most threatening tone.

"I won't make the same mistake twice. Emily has been through a lot and some of that is my fault. I understand that and intend to spend the rest of my life making it up to her." Hanna said with complete conviction, not letting Samara's threat affect her.

"Good, because she deserves someone who appreciates how amazing she is." She said quietly as she began to walk towards the exit again.

As Samara walked away, Hanna's phone chirped. We all breathed a sigh of relief when she announced it was Emily and not A.

"I'm not ready to talk yet, but I need you. Can you please come in?"

I could see the anxiety in Hanna's eyes but I could also tell that she was thankful to finally spend time with Emily again. It had been killing her all week to not see her.

Knowing that they would need some time alone, Aria and I both packed our stuff up and left the hospital, letting Hanna know to text us if they needed anything at all.


	23. Chapter 23

Hanna's POV

When I saw Emily's text, I was both relieved and terrified. I had missed her so much this past week. She shut me out and for the first time I truly understood how she must have felt when I did it to her. Finally though, she was going to let me back in. I know eventually we will need to talk about everything, which terrifies me. Just because she's not with Samara anymore doesn't mean she wants to be with me.

As I walked towards Emily's room, I could hear my heart beating in my ears. I opened the door slowly and braced myself, knowing that seeing her frail would break my heart. Emily was always the strongest of us, even though she never believed it. She was always the rock. Seeing her collapse and in pain was the scariest moment of my life. Living through Alison's disappearance and even death couldn't compare to that moment. I was just so thankful Emily was going to be okay. I don't know how I could have gone on without her.

I entered her room quietly, trying not to disturb her. Her back was turned from the door so I couldn't tell if she was sleeping or just didn't hear me. The door creaked quietly as it closed and she turned to face me. I opened my mouth to say something, but wasn't quite sure what I should say. Before I had time to actually speak, Emily beat me to it.

"Hi" she said as she let out a heavy breath. "Come here…please?" She asked with her arm stretched out to me. I knew in this moment that I would never be able to deny her anything, no matter how great or small, for the rest of our lives.

I walked towards her slowly, stopping just before her bed, taking her outstretched hand in mind. I looked into her eyes, trying to convey everything I felt in one simple word. "Hi."

At finally hearing my voice, she smiled shyly, pulled my arm, and scooted to the far side of the bed, indicated that I sit down with her. As soon as I lowered myself down on the bed, she immediately curled her body into mine. I adjusted my legs so that I was lying on the bed with her. Her head was resting on my shoulder and her hand, still clutching at mine, was lying across my stomach.

As she made herself comfortable, she let out of a soft sigh, quickly looking up at me to make sure I was comfortable. I gave her a quick smile and squeezed her hand gently. At this confirmation I could feel her body relax even further into me and soon I began to hear soft even breaths, clearly indicating she was asleep.

For the first hour or so, I just held her. I focused on her breathing, taking comfort in her body and our closeness. The stress and emotional distress of the past week eventually took over, forcing me to close my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

Emily's POV

I woke awhile later feeling more rested and relaxed than I had in a long time. It must have been several hours, but Hanna had not moved from our original position or released my hand even though she too had fallen asleep. I lifted my head from her shoulder only enough to glance up at her. She looked so beautiful when she slept and my heart soared when she stirred and cuddled further into me.

Looking at her in that moment, I didn't know how I had survived the last year without her. I needed her in my life. I know we have a lot to talk though and I still had a million questions that she would have to answer, but in this moment, being held in her arms, I didn't care.

Part of me wished we could just freeze time and spend the rest of my life like this. Simply clinging to her body, needing to feel the love and connection that was always undeniable between us.

I watched her sleep for what felt like both seconds and years before she began to wake. As her eyes fluttered open, she found me staring at her, causing her to immediately blush. Hanna wasn't usually shy, but she could be when she felt vulnerable.

I knew for a fact that she didn't like feeling that way. The fear of being hurt always scared her, but I could tell she was trying to be open with me, knowing that I needed to see that she was still the girl I fell in love with years ago. And I did see that.

I think part of me always knew she was still that girl. Even when she was ignoring me and focused on becoming Rosewood's "It" girl with Mona, she was still that same sweet, beautiful, loving girl underneath. She was just scared.

I had always thought that she was scared of her reputation or scrutiny that we would go through as a couple. But as I looked into her eyes tonight, I realized that I was wrong. She wasn't afraid of what it would look like, as much as she may use that an excuse, she was more afraid of getting hurt. She did love me but didn't have the confidence that I would love her back the same way.

Part of me always hated Alison for what she did to Hanna. She destroyed her confidence and made her feel like she would never be good enough. But the funny part was, Hanna was always better than Alison. Hanna was kind, funny, beautiful, and so much more. She is the love of my life.

Hanna's POV

I could feel Emily moving next to me as I slept. I cuddled closer to her at first, praying this dream would never end. When I finally opened my eyes, I realized that it hadn't been a dream. I was actually holding Emily in my arms.

She had woken before me and was now staring at me unabashedly. I could feel embarrassment and anxiety rise up my neck to my face, but I kept my gaze open to her. Being this vulnerable was hard for me, but Emily was looking for answers in me and I needed to be open enough for her to find them.

I had still only spoken one word to her since entering the hospital room earlier that evening. I needed to explain my confession from earlier and everything from the past year. I needed her to know how sorry I am and how I would never hurt her that way again. I needed her to feel how much I love her and how I would do anything for her to forgive me.

I wasn't sure how to start, but began anyway, "Emily..." sighing into her name, pushing myself to go on, "…I…"

Before I could get anything else out, I felt her lips press softly into mine. I was frozen for a split second at the surprising action but soon returned the kiss. It was everything I remembered it to be and so much more.

There was no urgency to her kiss, yet it was full of passion and meaning. It was slow but burning with desire and the love we clearly both felt.

After a few moments, she broke away from the kiss and looked me in the eyes as she spoke, "I know you're sorry Hanna. I'm sure you have a good explanation, but even if you don't, I don't need to hear it right now. Eventually, yes, but right now I need you to hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay."

Not knowing what else to do, I complied with her wishes. I shifted our bodies so that we were both lying on our sides, facing each other. I scooted up just a bit so that she could rest her head on the pillow and the inside of my shoulder.

As I held Emily, I could feel her start to cry. They were silent tears, but I could feel them dripping onto my skin and the soft vibrations of her chest as she tried to breathe through them. I held her tighter, just like I used to so long ago when Alison had disappeared.

As I felt her curl further into my neck, I rested my head on top of hers, whispering quietly in her ear, "Shh…everything is going to be okay, Em."

For the first time in a long time, I actually believed that it might be. Sure we had A against us and we still didn't know who killed Alison, but we had each other. After all we had been through, I knew that our bond this time wouldn't be broken, so regardless of what was to come, we would be okay.


	24. Chapter 24

Ashley's POV

The doctor had reassured me that Emily would be fine, but also mentioned that their tests found traces of HGH, Human Growth Hormone, in her system. Emily was a competitive swimmer and under a lot of pressure, but I couldn't imagine she would risk her whole future just to get an extra edge over the other swimmers.

Knowing that I would need to tell Wayne and Pam, I called Pam's cell phone the moment I left the hospital. I should have probably called them when Emily was first admitted, but they were hours away and I didn't want to scare them without having all the facts.

They were both shocked at the news that their daughter had developed such a severe stomach ulcer from the stress, but even more so that she would take performance enhancers. Emily was always a fierce competitor and loved to win, but even if she didn't, she was happy as long as she knew she had done her best. None of us were sure when that changed, but Pam suspected it had something to do with the extra pressure from Danby.

They had decided to let Emily finish out Junior year and stay with us, but a decision hadn't been made about Senior year yet. My guess is that Emily was willing to do whatever it took to stay in Rosewood, even if it meant risking everything to get the scholarship offer from Danby.

I knew Emily, and all of the girls for that matter, relied on each other to get through the difficult times they had experienced during the last few years. But what I hadn't realized was that there was more to it than that.

But when I walked into that hospital room with Wayne and Pam, after picking them up from the airport, I knew the real reason Emily needed to stay in Rosewood.

We opened the door to Emily's room, expecting to find her asleep since it was so late. But what I didn't expect to see was Hanna, in the bed with her, holding her, as they both slept. Emily had made it clear earlier that day that Hanna wasn't to even be allowed in to see her. A request which I was quite surprised about since the two had always been so close, but I chalked up to teenage drama, knowing whatever the feud was about, it would be over soon.

And while they were clearly no longer fighting, it was clear in that moment that I didn't know as much about them as I thought I did. The girls spent many nights and had many sleepovers at the house throughout the years. The group was always affectionate with each other, as many young girls are, but I had never seen them like this.

Hanna was clearly holding Emily in a protective and loving embrace. But the way Hanna's hand draped across Emily's body, resting on the exposed skin at the small of her back, was far too intimate for friends.

I suddenly remember that Samara had been at the hospital as well, and was not included on Emily's list of "approved" visitors. Had this been going on for a while? Or maybe Samara had broken up with Emily and Hanna was just comforting her. Looking at their embrace again, I doubted that was the case. The way they held each other was as if they were the only people in the world and their lives depended on each other. It seemed more likely that Emily left Samara for Hanna.

Wait…did that mean Hanna was gay? I had no problem with whatever decision she made for herself or whatever sexual orientation she may be, but I was ashamed that I hadn't noticed. Hanna and I always confided in each other and even though I was gone often for work, I had always thought I knew her.

Looking back though, there were signs of something between them. I remember how strange Hanna acted when she returned from her secret weekend away from Emily. And then how she ignored Emily's calls and how I covered for Hanna when Emily would stop by, saying she wasn't home.

This had been going on for a while, and I couldn't believe it took me this long to notice. Seeing their new embrace, there were going to have to be some new house rules when they got back home.

'Home'…upon thinking that word and thinking of Emily as an extension of our family, I realized that Wayne and Pam stood silently next to me, taking in the same view I had been for the last several seconds.

Pam's POV

Getting that call from Ashley was the scariest moment in my life. I was so thankful that Emily was okay but so confused as to how we didn't see this coming and why she would jeopardize everything like this.

I called Wayne at the base to tell him and booked us on the next flight back to Philadelphia. Ashley picked us up at the airport when we landed and immediately took us to the hospital. I knew it was late and Emily would probably be asleep, but I had to see her. I had to see my only daughter and know that she was okay.

When we got to Emily's room, we realized she wasn't alone. Hanna was there, comforting her as she always did. Remembering back to the weeks after Alison went missing, Hanna was the only one who seemed to get through to Emily. She cried for days straight, but Hanna was always able to comfort her and rock her to sleep.

Weeks later after they returned from Emily's birthday trip, something had clearly changed between the two. Hanna stopped coming by and Emily seemed devastated, but she eventually got past it. I never pushed Emily to tell me what happened, knowing she didn't want to discuss it. It didn't really matter to me what had happened. Hanna was there for her when Emily needed her and I would never forget that.

Sure they fought, as all teenage girls do, but they eventually sorted it out because they started hanging out again after Alison's funeral. My guess was that the mystery of Alison's disappearance just became too much for the girls, they all drifted apart, some just later than others, but her death allowed them the closure they needed to become friends.

As I looked at my daughter, sleeping contently in the arms of her best friend, I couldn't bear to wake her. I glanced over at Ashley who had an odd expression on her face and then at Wayne who was looking at me as if waiting for me to say something.

"Ashley, can you take us to the hotel. I don't want to wake Emily up after the day she's had. We'll just come back in the morning." I whispered, hoping not to disturb the sleeping girls.

Wayne's POV

I knew Emily better than she would ever like to admit. It didn't matter that I was halfway across the world for months or even years at a time, I could tell in every word or facial expression, exactly what she was thinking and feeling. It was a bond between us that always frustrated Pam.

It hurt her ego when Emily came out to me and not her, not that she should've been surprised based on how she reacted. Emily knew I would love her no matter what and figured I would help soften the blow for her mother. What Emily didn't know is that I already knew, I was just waiting for her to finally tell me.

I had my first suspicions after Alison disappeared. It was easy to see that Emily took it harder than the rest of the girls and I could see her heart breaking in a different way each day that she wasn't found. Then Hanna stepped into her life in a way that no one else could. She cared for her and loved her in the way that Emily needed most at that time. But that ended too and I saw that heart break all over again, maybe even worse.

It killed me to see my daughter hurting, but I didn't want to push her to talk until she was ready. It was almost a year later, a few months after Alison's funeral, when she finally told me.

It was a rough several months between her and Pam, but Pam finally came around. I knew she still had a lot of issues and reservations about the "lifestyle" Emily "chose" but she had come to terms with the fact that Emily was her only daughter and that she loved her, no matter what.

When we walked into the hospital room and I saw Hanna holding Emily, I braced myself for what was sure to come next.

Hanna had held Emily so many times before when she was sad or scared or hurt, but while Emily was probably all of those things right now, the way Hanna was holding her wasn't just for comfort. The way Emily was pressed into every curve of Hanna's body and the way their legs were intertwined with each other made it obvious that they were more than friends.

After making sure to remove any expression from my face, I turned towards my wife, knowing her reaction was sure to be explosive. I knew she had always trusted and loved Hanna for helping Emily cope with Alison, so I figured she would see this as a sign of betrayal on Hanna's part.

Oddly enough though, she didn't seem to have any reaction. She just suggested that we let the girls rest and come back in the morning.

At first I thought that maybe she didn't want to have a negative reaction in front of Hanna's mother, but when we got to the hotel, she still didn't say anything. I finally couldn't take it anymore and attempted to broach the subject.

"So honey, it was weird seeing Hanna and Emily like that tonight, wasn't it?" I asked while she was in the bathroom getting ready for bed.

"Not really. They've always been that…especially after Alison." She responded as she walked back into bedroom.

And that's when it hit me. She didn't notice. She was so focused on only seeing what she wanted to that she hadn't noticed the intimate embrace between the two girls. No wonder Pam never had any real notions about Emily before she came out, other than the pictures of her with Maya that she had received only a few days before. Pam only saw people as she wanted to see them, not who they really were.

Part of me loved her for that. She always saw the good in people. But at the same time it made her view of the world very narrow and left her critical of anyone who didn't fit her mold. Knowing how much Emily had already been through, I could only hope that Pam could see how much Hanna loved her and that she didn't see it as a stab in the back.


	25. Chapter 25

Hanna's POV

I woke up the next morning to the sound of my phone vibrating in my purse on the floor. I hadn't meant to stay the whole night but having Emily in my arms again wasn't something that was easy to walk away from. As my phone continued to buzz, I slowly slid my arms out from under Emily and untangled our legs.

As I positioned myself on the edge of the bed and bent down to get my phone, I could feel Emily stirring behind me. She moaned softly and curled her arms around my waist in an attempt to pull me back down to her. There was nothing in the world I wanted more than to stay in this bed with her forever, but I knew the outside world would eventually catch up to us.

The text message was from my mother letting me know that she was on her way to the hospital with Emily's parents. It was odd that my mother would text me to tell me that, but I was far more concerned on the mention of her parents. I knew my mom would call them, I just hadn't realized they would fly in. Emily was going to be released today so I didn't really understand the point…unless there was more to it than my mother let on…

Either way, I knew for certain that Mrs. Fields would not appreciate finding me in bed with her daughter. I slowly removed Emily's arms from my waist so that I could stand up off the bed. I leaned down to gently kiss her. Just as a touched my lips to hers, I heard the door open.

I jumped back as quickly as I could, which maybe only it made it more obvious. I knew my face was bright red so I stayed with my back turned for as long as possible, trying to regain any semblance of composure. As I stole a glance towards the door, I saw that it was Emily's father in the doorway.

He just stood there with a knowing look on his face, smiling at me, as my mother and Mrs. Fields entered behind him, completely oblivious to what had just happened. Thank God!

Wayne's POV

Any uncertainty I had regarding Emily and Hanna's relationship was put to rest when I walked into the hospital room. Ashley had mentioned in the car that she had texted Hanna in an attempt to wake the girls, but hadn't heard back. So when we got to the hospital, I made sure to enter the room first hoping to make enough noise to wake them before Pam eventually realized what was going on.

As I opened the door I could see Hanna bent down over Emily, kissing her softly. When she heard me enter she jumped away, not as smoothly as she liked, and was clearly embarrassed. When she finally turned to face me, I simply smiled at her, hoping to convey that I already knew and approved.

I could see the relief in her face when she realized that I had entered before her mother or Emily's, so they had both missed her display of affection. I had a feeling she had no idea we had been here the night before and I figured it would be better for her not to know. She would only stress out about it.

While I knew it would put her on the spot, there was one thing I had to ask her before she left. I still couldn't wrap my head around Emily using drugs to improve her swimming. I knew she was stressed out about the scholarship and senior year, but she was smarter than that.

"Hanna, I have to ask…did you know about the HGH?" I asked suddenly, taking her by surprise, as she was packing up her purse to leave.

"What is HGH?" Hanna responded, obviously confused.

"Human Growth Hormone – The doctors found traces of it in her system. It's a performance enhancer and it's illegal for athletes to take. When her coach finds out, she'll be ineligible for the rest of the season." Ashley responded, jumping into the conversation.

Hanna's mouth fell open and she looked back and forth between us, her mother, and Emily, clearly surprised at what she was hearing. Swimming was something that defined Emily, and losing that would devastate her.

"No…they need to check again. Emily would never take steroids or drugs that would screw up the Danby scholarship for her. She's counting on it too much." Hanna insisted loudly.

As the conversation got heated, Emily had woken up and was now just stood staring at us all with a confused look on her face. We all stood in silence for a moment while she took in the conversation that was being had about her, before she finally spoke.

"Dad, mom, I have never taken HGH!" She said pleading with her eyes for them to believe her. "Have them test me again! It's not possible. I would never do that. Staying here in Rosewood and eventually going to Danby is too important. I wouldn't just throw it away!"

Part of me wanted to believe her, but the doctors confirmed they ran the test twice and while there wasn't a significant amount in her system, it was there. One of the sports doctors noted that some protein powders have these types of enhancers in them, but most athletes know to read the full ingredient list before taking anything new.

Ashley's POV

Knowing that Emily needed some time to discuss this through with her parents, I quietly suggested that Hanna and I leave to give them some privacy. I could tell neither Emily nor Hanna wanted part but knew better than to protest. After exchanging a long meaningful hug, Hanna and I left the hospital.

On the drive home Hanna remained quiet, but I couldn't stop all the questions running through my head.

"So how long have you and Emily been together?" I asked, surprising Hanna so much she practically choked on her own saliva.

"W…w…what?" She croaked out finally.

"Honey, the Fields' and I stopped by the hospital last night after they landed. We all saw you together. I'm not sure if they realized, but it was obvious to me that something is going on and maybe has been for a while." I responded.

After Hanna stared blankly at me, not knowing how to respond, I continued, "Hanna, it's okay. I want you to know that I love you no matter what and you can come to me about anything. Emily is a great girl and I already consider her a part of our family."

Hanna remained quiet for a little longer, taking in my words. "Thanks mom." She finally responded quietly. "I love her and I have for years, I was just too afraid to admit it."

"Well I'm glad to hear that you aren't too afraid anymore. Admitting you love someone can be hard, especially when that person is your best friend AND the same sex. I'm proud of you." I stated. "But, that being said, I have to ask you something and I would like you to be honest with me…"

Hanna looked at me, silently agreeing as I continued with my question, "Have you and Emily had sex? I mean I know she lives with us and you're alone in the house all the time, so it would only be natural for it to happen but I need to know…" I rambled on.

I could tell Hanna was embarrassed by the question, but answered it anyway. "No mom. We haven't had sex."

There was a clear _yet_ implied after her statement, but I choose to ignore it as she continued. "We almost did a few years ago when I took her out of town for the weekend, but we didn't. I'm not even sure if we are dating now. I only told her how I felt just before she collapsed at school, so we haven't even talked about where we stand or if we're dating, so I don't think we'll be having sex anytime soon."

I sighed heavily at her confession. "Thank you for being honest with me. When the Fields' find out about your relationship, I want to be able to be honest when I told them that you aren't having sex, especially not when Emily has been under my care. I realize that you care deeply for each other, so it's natural for your relationship to eventually get to that point. But I hope that neither of you rush into things. It's a big deal and should not be taken lightly." I said to Hanna who still looked uncomfortable that we were even having this conversation.

"I know mom. And it means a lot to me that you are being so supportive. I'm not looking to rush things with Emily. We jumped in last time and both got burned. My feelings are certain and powerful, but I want to start our relationship at the beginning. She matters to much to me to risk losing her again." Hanna said with complete honesty.

Emily's POV

As Hanna left, I heard my phone buzz from my bag. My mom retrieved it and handed it to me without checking it, assuming it was Aria or Spencer checking in on me. But it wasn't. It was a picture from A.

As the image downloaded I realized it was my pain cream, which I had been using nonstop this past week, next to a bottle labeled 'Human Growth Hormone' and a syringe. The text below the picture read, "Who knew sweet little Emily was a cheater? Better confess to Mommy and Daddy or I'll tell coach. I own you now!"

When I had fallen asleep last night, I wanted so badly to believe Hanna that everything would be okay, but I knew now that it wouldn't. A would never let us be happy. He/she/they would continue to torture us and there was nothing we could do about it.

I lied to my parents and said that the text was in fact from Spencer, but I could instantly feel my eyes well up with tears as I put my phone down. When I looked back towards them, they could see the pain in my eyes, which I let them assume was shame and guilt.

Knowing I had no other choice, I confessed to using "supplements" for training and that they must have had included the banned substance. I told them that I knew it was dangerous when I didn't know all the ingredients but that I felt stronger and better than ever. When in actuality I had been miserable for weeks with the new workout schedule, but they didn't know that.

While I knew they were disappointed in me, they weren't angry. They seemed to be beating themselves up just as much knowing how much pressure they put on me to earn the Danby scholarship.

My father, with tears in his eyes, apologized for putting so much pressure on me. He told me that they would make it work so that I wouldn't have to leave Rosewood for senior year, regardless of a commitment letter. A scholarship was not worth hurting myself over and he wanted me to know that they would find a way to pay for any school I chose to go to, whether I swam there or not.

I was close to tears again as he blamed himself for the damage A caused. I felt guilty for lying, but I knew A had me backed into a corner. Thankfully the doctors didn't have to release the information to the school under doctor-patient confidentiality, but that if an anonymous tip would be made (in this case by A), the school could issue random drug tests to any or all swimmers at any time during the competitive season. Unfortunately I had no way of knowing how long the HGH would be in my system, so I had to keep up the charade for as long as possible, not willing to risk losing the one thing that I loved.

Well…second thing actually. Things with Hanna and I finally seemed to be falling into place.

But part of me knew that as long as A was out there, we were always going to have obstacles to face. Hopefully though, we would face them together.


	26. Chapter 26

Hanna's POV

The doctors decided to keep Emily at the hospital another night and not release her until Sunday. She forwarded Aria, Spencer, and I A's text on Saturday afternoon and we were all in complete shock. We obviously weren't surprised that A would do that, after all, A ran me over with a car last year, but still. Swimming was everything to Emily and now she was lying to her parents about taking drugs and would have to live the rest of the season in fear of anyone finding out.

Her parents were obviously upset so she suggested that we keep our distance until she was released from the hospital and back home at my house. Thankfully her parents were on a flight back Sunday night, so I wouldn't have to see them much. I wasn't sure if Emily had told them anything, but my guess was that she hadn't given everything else going on.

Sunday afternoon could not come soon enough. I was driving my mom crazy all morning making sure everything in the house was perfect for Emily's return.

Spencer had helped me do some research on stomach ulcers to know what kind of foods Emily should and shouldn't eat. She even went to the grocery store with me to help pick everything out, knowing I could use the company and distraction to kill some time before Emily was released.

The first half of our shopping adventure she kept pretty quiet, making idle chit-chat about school and field hockey, avoiding the big issues. Eventually, after she obviously couldn't take it anymore, she asked me about that night.

"Hanna…the suspense is killing me! What happened with you and Emily the other night? She obviously broke up with Samara…does that mean you are together?!" She blurted out barely remembering to breathe between questions.

"Umm…I don't know." I responded honestly.

"What do you mean you don't know? Didn't you guys talk? Or was it less talking and more physical?" She asked a little too eagerly.

"We didn't really talk. I was about to explain and apologize for everything, but she stopped me. She said that she knew we would have to talk about it eventually, but that she didn't want to then. Instead I just held her…and we kissed a bit." I said, getting a little shy at the end.

"You kissed?! Yay!" Spencer shrieked out as she gave me a huge hug.

"I know, it was incredible. It gave me hope. Seeing Emily in that much pain was so hard and really scary, but being able to be the one to comfort her and hold her all night was amazing."

"Wait…you stayed the night?" Spencer asked incredulously.

"Yeah…and apparently her parents and my mom saw us sleeping that night and I think her dad saw me kiss her the next morning as I was leaving." I answered.

"Wow…did they say anything?" She responded.

"Mr. Fields gave me a look like he knew, but he was smiling so maybe he doesn't think we're a bad match. Her mom didn't react at all, so maybe she didn't notice anything, or maybe she hates me and had her poker face on. But my mom noticed and confronted me about it on the way home from the hospital…" I rambled on as Spencer stared at my intently.

"And…how did that go?" She said pushing me to finish the rest of the story.

"Actually, really great! She loves Emily and she knows how much I care about her. She did ask some uncomfortable questions about whether we have had sex, which we haven't and I'm sure won't for a while, but other than that the conversation went smoothly." I responded, hoping to not have to live through another uncomfortable conversation like that with my mom again.

"That's so great Hanna! I'm glad your mom knows. It means you won't have to hide it anymore. Do you think Emily has told her parents?" Spencer asked tentatively.

"I don't know. I don't think so, but we haven't really talked since I left that morning, so I don't know for sure." I responded.

And as if on cue, my phone beeped from within my purse. Reaching in to check the message, a huge smile crossed my face when I saw it was from Emily. I was so obvious that Spencer didn't even bother to ask who it was from, just what it said.

_I miss you… I can't stop thinking about our kiss and being in your arms all night. I can't wait to see you in a few hours! xoxo_

After I let Spencer read the text for herself she laughed loudly, "Sure Hanna…I'm sure it'll be a long time before you and Emily have sex considering you live together and will probably sleep in the same bed every night!" she said sarcastically.

"Shut up!" I retorted as I smacked her arm, "I don't want to rush things…I know it'll be hard. Our chemistry has always been there. But we moved too quickly last time and we all know how well that turned out."

"Yeah but things are different now. Neither of you are hiding your feelings anymore and you are clearly willing to have a public relationship. You won't crash and burn this time. Plus if you hurt her again, Aria and I will make you pay." She said jokingly but with an edge of threat.

"I wouldn't ever want to hurt her. And that's another reason we need to go slow. I need her to trust me again. I broke her heart and whether she has forgiven me or not, deep down she may fear that it'll happen again. I want to prove to her that I'm not in this for sex or the play games. I'm doing this because I love her and I want to be with her." I said with pure conviction, but knowing it wasn't Spencer I needed to say this to, it was her.

Spencer was right. Our hormones would probably get the best of us. I didn't want to get too deep in before really explaining things to Emily. I needed to talk to her about this tonight, whether she wanted to or not.

Emily's POV

Saturday and Sunday morning were torture. I love my parents, but the combination of their guilt and disappointment in me, made them more suffocating than usual. Being an only child I am used to a lot of attention from my parents, but this was more than I could handle at times.

My mother kept wanting to talk to me about my feelings and what she could do to take the pressure of me. My dad would try to sneak in questions about my friends, hinting at Hanna without ever specifically calling her out, anytime my mom wasn't paying attention or oblivious to the meaning behind his questions.

He definitely suspecting something was going on, and normally I would have been honest with him. After all, I originally came out to him and he was far more supportive than my mother. But, my dad was very protective. And if I told him about Hanna and I, I would have to tell him everything and I didn't know how he would react to our fall out. I didn't want him to hold a grudge against Hanna for something that happened years ago. I had found a way to forgive her, even though I didn't know the whole truth, but I wasn't sure if he could.

Suddenly I realized that maybe I didn't want to know the whole truth. I didn't want to relive that time or pain. Hanna wasn't that person anymore. Maybe we could just move past it without having to rehash every missed call or ignored text. Knowing Hanna, that was doubtful, but the conversation would be hard for her too, so maybe I could convince her.

With everything up in the air between the two of us, it was impossible not to think about her the whole weekend. I could not wait to see her and be in her arms again. Surrounded in her embrace was the only place that felt like home anymore and I needed her the same way I needed oxygen.

Finally, it was Sunday afternoon! As my parents talked to the doctors one last time and filled out my release paperwork, I got a minute alone to check my phone. I had a few texts from the girls saying they missed me and that they hoped I felt better. They were all very considerate of my text asking them not to visit. I didn't need my parents getting a different story than what I told them.

I saw I had a voicemail from Hanna that she left Saturday after leaving the hospital. I had to listen to it twice to believe it was real and to keep myself from laughing at her nervous rambling.

"Hi Em…I miss you so much…I hope things are okay with your parents. Let me know if you need anything…Last night was amazing…I can't stop thinking about you…By the way my mom knows about us…not that there is an 'us'…I mean I hope there is an 'us' but that's up to you and I know we haven't talked about it…umm…well either way, she took it well….we can't wait for you to come back home. Love you!"

Knowing that Mrs. Marin knew was going to change a few things at 'home' but I was okay with that. I'm glad that we didn't have to hide from her. She had always told me that I could be myself and that I was just as much of a part of her family as Hanna. I'm hoping none of that changes when she actually sees us together though.

Before allowing myself to worry about that, my parents walked back in the room with my doctor. The doctor went through the list of things I should avoid and things that will help me heal. I was bummed to hear that I couldn't swim for at least a month, but relieved a little as well, hoping any HGH would be out of my system by then in case A told the coach and they drug tested me.

Leaving the hospital the doctors wanted to cart me out in a wheelchair. I was still weak, but the thought of seeing Hanna made me want to spring the whole way home. I could tell that my father sensed my frustration because he lobbied with them on my behalf to let me walk. Convincing them it would be a good way for them to tell if I was really strong enough to leave today.

While my mom had brought the car around so it was right in front of the hospital, it seemed miles away. My stomach was burning in pain with each step, but I didn't say anything, afraid they would make me stay longer. Once I finally got into the car, I tried to relax and ignore the stabbing pain ripping my body in half. It wasn't anything compared to the hallway, so I knew I could handle it if I concentrated on my breathing and on Hanna.

We finally pulled up in front of the Marin house. Getting out of the car and walking in should have hurt, but I couldn't feel anything except excitement and anticipation. As we got closer, Hanna swung the door open and rushed over to me.

She put her arm under mine, as if trying to hold me up, but I knew it was just so that she could have contact with me that would go unnoticed by our parents. As she helped me up the few steps to the door, she leaned in towards me.

"Hi beautiful, I missed you." She whispered in my ear, letting her mouth linger before pulling away.

The sensation of her breath tickling my neck and the love in her words started a whole new throbbing, only this time it was between my legs.


	27. Chapter 27

Hanna's POV

I heard the Fields' rental car pull up and could instantly feel my heart race. I waited as long as I could before running out the door and over to Emily. Knowing that rushing over to her and kissing her, like I desperately wanted to, would probably not go over well, I put my arm around her and made it seem like I was helping her walk.

As we were walking up the steps, I leaned in and whispered in her ear. She played it off cool but I felt her shudder as my lips grazed her ear and my breath tickled her neck. When we finally got inside and I released my grip on her enough to look her in the eyes.

Suddenly time stopped. I was no longer aware of her parents following behind her or my mother approaching to greet them. Emily and I were the only ones in the room.

After a few moments I heard her father speaking and forced myself to look away from Emily and pay attention. He was giving my mother Emily's new dietary restrictions. I let them know, perhaps too eagerly, that I had already raided the house and gotten rid of anything that Emily couldn't eat and had gone to the store to stock up on the things she could. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Emily blush with appreciation.

About a half hour later, which felt like an eternity, Emily's parents said their goodbyes and left for the airport. Both of her parents gave me longer hugs than usual and asked that I take care of her, which I dutifully promised to do.

Once they were finally gone, my mother made an excuse about having an early morning and that she was going to turn in early. While she may have had a meeting, I knew she was really just giving us some privacy, which I greatly appreciated it.

Emily was clearly exhausted but I suggested that we hang out in the living room for a while. I knew if we went upstairs I wouldn't ever want to come back down and I had already promised Aria and Spencer they could come over once her parents were gone.

Within 10 minutes of my text both Spencer and Aria let themselves in and came to find us on the couch. Emily was lying down with her head in my lap as I ran my fingers gently through her hair and down her arm. When they came in she sat up to hug them both but then leaned back against me, clearly not caring if they knew about us.

Emily's POV

The only thing in the world I wanted right now was to be alone with Hanna. I loved when she played with my hair. It was soothing and sensual. I could feel myself relax and become aroused at the same time. When Aria and Spencer arrived, I sat up to hug them but instantly missed the feel of Hanna's body against mine, so I leaned back and let my head rest of her shoulder and took her hand in mind.

I knew I should have been more subtle with my displays of affection for Hanna, not knowing what all the girls knew, but I didn't really care. Spencer already knew my feelings and I had a feeling she knew Hanna's too since I was the one she thought Hanna needed the most when Caleb broke up with her.

The wildcard in this was Aria. While Aria was one of my best friends, we just hadn't been alone together much in the last few weeks, so I hadn't told her anything.

Before I had a chance to wonder if Hanna had ever told her anything, Aria interrupted my thoughts.

"Don't you two make a cute couple…it's about damn time…" She said teasing us.

"Way to be subtle Aria. We don't even know if they are a couple." Spencer jumped in as if trying to diffuse a bomb.

Her reaction reminded me of Hanna's voicemail where she was quick to comment on not assuming there was an 'us' and that it was up to me while making it clear it's what she wanted. My guess is that Hanna had confided in Spencer and that she was trying to protect Hanna from having to have this conversation with me in front of them.

I smiled back at Spencer for her protectiveness and decided to set the record straight, "Don't worry Spencer, Aria's right." I paused for a moment for dramatic pause, feeling Hanna tense up slightly against me. "We are a cute couple and it is about 'damn time'!"

I could see the big smiles on both Aria and Spencer's faces, but I was far more concerned with Hanna's reaction. I turned my head on her shoulder so that I could look up at her. She sat there staring at me with her mouth open.

After a few awkward moments she finally whispered a response, "Em…are you sure? I know I have a lot to explain and…"

Before I let her finish and possible start a conversation I didn't want to have in front of our best friends, I interrupted her. "I'm sure. I love you Hanna Marin. Will you be my girlfriend?" I asked as Aria and Spencer quietly squealed in excitement trying not to ruin the moment.

"Of course I will. I love you too Em." She responded with tears in her eyes.

Aria's POV

I knew I probably shouldn't tease them about their relationship, or whatever they were, but I couldn't help myself. Spencer immediately came to the recuse hoping to avoid an awkward situation, but honestly, if two best friends love each other the way they do, why wouldn't they be a couple?

Even if they weren't, maybe they needed a little push in the right direction. And if the push happened to be a kick in the ass from my short legs, all the better.

I could tell by Emily's response that my teasing didn't bother her and she actually used it as an excuse to have a much needed conversation with Hanna.

When Emily asked Hanna to be her girlfriend, it's like Spencer and I melted away. They were staring at each other, confessing their love, and committing to one another as if they were the only two people in the world, let alone the room. The emotion and love in their words brought tears to my eyes.

Spencer must have had the same reaction as I did, because when I looked over at her, she was wiping her eyes with her sleeve, giving me a meek but happy smile. When we looked back towards them, Emily was wiping a tear from Hanna's cheek as she leaned in, capturing Hanna's lips with her own.

While I'll admit, it's odd seeing two people you've known your whole life suddenly kissing, I was happy for them both. They needed each other, and not just the way that we all relied on one another, but they had this bond that couldn't be broken by anyone or anything.

As Spencer and I saw them kiss, we both blushed, not wanting to ruin the moment but suddenly feeling awkward for witnessing something so intimate between them.

Hanna returned Emily's kiss and deepened it adding passion and urgency. Watching your friends share a small intimate kiss is one thing, but watching them make out was entirely different. And the way they were starting clinging to each other, I doubted it would stay just kissing for very long.

Spencer must have felt the same way because she looked at me, clearly uncomfortable. I grabbed my purse and motioned for her to meet me at the door. We crept from the room as quietly as we could, trying not to disturb them. Although I had a feeling neither of them would have noticed if a bomb went off next to them.

Knowing they would probably be embarrassed later, Spencer and I wrote them a quick note and left it on the kitchen counter, knowing they would see it eventually.

_Emily and Hanna,_

_We love you both and we are so happy that you are finally together. _

_We understand that certain friend time may now include PDA, but we figured that tonight should be more private than public, so I hope you don't mind that we left. _

_We'll see you lovebirds at school tomorrow and expect details!_

_Feel better Em. Let us know if there is anything you need. _

_Love you both, always,_

_Aria and Spencer_


	28. Chapter 28

Hanna's POV

Kissing Emily was amazing. We had shared a passionate but brief kiss that night in the hospital, but this was a long, heated kiss without hesitation from either of us. Kissing her felt as necessary as breathing and I never wanted it to end.

I deepened the kiss even further as I pulled her on top of me and lowered myself down on the couch. She smiled into my mouth at the new position before breaking away to assault my neck. She kissed and sucked from the base of my ear down to my collarbone, paying extra attention to the spots that made my breath hitch in my throat.

As she worked her way back up I could feel her biting at certain sensitive spots, marking me as hers, and then licking the wounds, making me moan softly in her ear. When she moved back up to my mouth let her tongue linger over my lips, licking them sensually before asking for permission to enter, which was granted immediately.

With her tongue now exploring every area of my mouth, I felt her reach her hand under the hem of my dress and travel up to my stomach. She then continued to trace small patterns across my stomach up to my chest, leaving a trail of fire on my skin from. Every touch left an excruciating desire for more.

When she reached my breasts she stilled her hand, cupping me gently. I arched my back and moaned into her mouth for encouragement as she slid her hand under my bra, her long slender fingers grazing over my erect nipple. As she began to rub small circles around the small bud, I slid my hands under her tee shirt, needing more contact with her skin.

I was pleasantly surprised to find that she wasn't wearing a bra so I was able to mimic the same actions on her own breasts. As I cupped her softly she pulled away from my mouth to let out a soft moan of pleasure. Before kissing me again she stopped just above my waiting lips. I opened my eyes to find her staring down at me. Her eyes were lidded with desire but filled with a burning love that I can't believe I ever denied.

Just as I was about to pull her down into another heated kiss, we were interrupted.

"Girls, it's getting late. Aria and Spencer should probably head home soon since you all have school tomorrow." My mother said from the top of the stairs.

Thankfully she announced her presence before coming down so that we had time to sit up and fix our clothes.

"Oh, did Aria and Spencer already leave? I didn't even hear them say goodbye." She continued, hopefully oblivious to the fact that we had been making out on the couch in the middle of the living room.

"Umm…they left a little while ago." I responded after looking around the room. They had been there earlier, but I definitely didn't notice them leave. I wonder how much of a show they got before sneaking out.

"Okay. Well you girls should get to bed soon. Emily needs to rest." She said as she headed back up the stairs and into her room.

Turning towards Emily, I looked at her, saying, with a devilish smirk on my face "Are you ready for bed Ms. Fields?"

Emily's POV

"Are you ready for bed Ms. Fields?" Hanna asked me in her sexiest voice.

I could have melted on the spot from that voice, not to mention from how worked up we had gotten each other in the last hour or so. "…d…d…definitely" I finally choked out.

As we got off the couch I started to feel light-headed and immediately felt her arms around me. Even though she was several inches shorter than me, she was surprisingly strong and was able to support most of my weight as we headed upstairs.

We passed the kitchen along the way, seeing the note the girls had left for us. Normally I would have been embarrassed but the night had been too perfect to taint with any regrets. Aria and Spencer understood and were happy for us. Sure they would probably tease us mercilessly about it tomorrow, but it was worth it.

When we got to the top of the stairs my heart sank, remembering Hanna's voicemail about new house rules. She must have noticed my change in mood, and immediately snapped me out of it.

"Don't worry babe, you are sleeping in my bed tonight. My mom can yell at us in the morning, if she even notices." She whispered as she opened her door and ushered me through it.

Hanna led me to the bed and sat me down gently on the corner as she pulled the comforter back so I could scoot in as she went to her dresser to get clothes to sleep in.

Realizing suddenly that I was still in my jeans, I leaned back on the bed, raised my hips, and slid them down my tan legs. I made sure to do this extra slow as I saw Hanna watching me from across the room. Once my jeans were off and in a pile on the floor, I sat back up and reached for my shirt. Just before pulling it up and over my head, Hanna's hand grabbed mine to stop my motion.

She looked into my eyes and leaned down towards me. Assuming she was going to kiss me, I closed my eyes, waiting for the contact. But instead, she turned towards my ear, whispering quietly, "No, let me."

At her request I removed my hands from my shirt and let her carefully peel it off my body. I could hear her let out a breath that I hadn't known she was holding as she looked down at my almost naked body. Unable to control myself under her appreciative gaze, I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her down onto my lap.

Now that we were on the same level, I could reach the base of her neck and easily found the zipper of her dress. I slowly pulled the zipper down as she captured my lips in a heated kiss. Once unzipped, we pulled away only for a moment so that I could slide the straps of her dress down her arms and then unhook her bra.

She stood for a brief second to shed her now loose clothing, leaving her only in her underwear. In anticipation for what would happen next, I scooted up onto the bed, under the covers, holding them up for her to slide in next to me.


	29. Chapter 29

Hanna's POV

As I removed my dress and bra, I saw Emily move under the covers, holding them open for me to join her. I quickly climbed in and pulled her close to me.

I was incredibly turned on from our make-out session on the couch and just now, but I needed a minute to calm down. I knew we shouldn't rush into things. There was too much that needed to be talked about.

As I laid there with her body curled into mine and her head on my shoulder, I could feel her begin lazily trace patterns on my stomach. After a few minutes, her hands moved farther down on my stomach. After teasing the sensitive area just above my underwear, I reached down to steady her hand.

"What's wrong? Don't you want this?" Emily whispered. I could hear her heart breaking with each word.

I turned over so that I could face her, knowing I needed to look into her eyes when I responded. "Of course I want this. I want this so badly. But I don't want to rush this. I know you don't want to talk about what happened before, but I need to before I can even think of going there with you." I stated, hoping that she would understand and not take this as rejection.

"Oh." She said quietly, clearly hurt.

Figuring now was as good of a time as any, especially since she was now laying there in silence, to explain. For the next 15 minutes I tried to explain about everything that happened between us before. I told her how I had realized my attraction and feelings for her, but was scared to act on them. Then the mixture of liquid courage and her naked body gave me the boldness I needed to make a move. Her eyes bored into my mine as I told her how amazing that night was and how I regret ever answering my phone and leaving her. But that the thing I regretted the most was how I treated her afterwards.

I didn't provide an excuse for my behavior, knowing there wasn't a good one. I was scared of how powerful my feelings were and afraid of losing everything that I thought mattered to me. But that eventually I realized that the only thing that really mattered was her and I was miserable without her. That when we became friends again I was so happy to have her in my life, but terrified because the feelings I had buried were still there and eventually came bursting to the surface.

I even told her about A's threat against my mother and how I had to tell Spencer and Aria after all this time. And while it was hard at the time, it forced me to be honest with my feelings for her and eventually led us here.

Emily was silent as I explained, knowing I needed to get everything out without interruption. By the time I finished, tears were streaming down my face. I buried my head in Emily's neck, choking out apologies between each sob, as she rubbed my back soothingly.

When I had finally calmed down, she pulled back from me so that we were face to face. My heart was racing, now knowing what she would say. I hoped she wouldn't hate me for being a coward or ignoring her the way that I did. She seemed to have forgiven me but I was afraid she had just chosen to forget. I needed her to hear it from me that I knew I was wrong and that I was sorry before I could trust myself with her again.

After a few seconds of silence, she finally spoke, "Hanna...you broke my heart…"

At these words my heart sank and I looked away from her, back down at the bed in shame. Suddenly, I could feel her long fingers lifting my chin, bringing my eyes back up to meet hers.

"Don't look away. Please hear me. You did break my heart, but I know you won't do it again. I know that you're sorry and that you aren't that same scared girl anymore. The simple fact that you wanted to explain everything and apologize before jumping back into things, speaks volumes. I forgive you, I trust you, and most importantly, I love you." She said as she leaned in and captured my lips as if trying to further convey everything she had just said.

The kiss was slow, without urgency, as if we were both trying to make each moment last forever, not trying to rush anything.

Emily's POV

Hanna's confession was the most honest and vulnerable that I had ever seen her. I knew it was hard for her to say those words and admit her mistakes, but she needed to clear her conscience before she would ever trust herself with me again. I had forgiven her, but she hadn't forgiven herself.

Seeing her so raw broke my heart. I knew I would have to tell her how much she had hurt me before, but I needed her to believe me that I loved her. I hoped the words were enough, but in case they weren't, I followed them up with a kiss. A kiss laced with trust and love.

After several minutes of kissing her slowly, I need more. I shifted our positions so that I was laying half on top of her. A low moan from deep within her throat emerged as the bare skin of our breast came in contact. Hearing her desire jump started my body into overdrive.

I deepened our kiss, biting at her bottom lip, forcing her to open her mouth. My hands instantly were on her body, touching her anywhere and everywhere all at once. I could sense her initial shock at my mood change, which she quickly reciprocated as I cupped her breast and tugged at her nipple. I felt her grab at me hips, pulling them down impossibly closer to hers, desperate for any satisfying form of friction.

I pulled away slightly so that I could kiss down her neck and chest, capturing her taught nipples between my teeth. Her body arched into mine relishing in both the pain and pleasure I was causing. Kissing down her body further, I let my tongue trail along the curves of her stomach, dipping into her belly button, before a long stroke across the length of her underwear, which caused her to buck her hips up towards me.

Taking this as a sign that she and I were on the same page, I looped my fingers in her underwear and slowly guided them down her body. I could smell her arousal and feel her quiver under my touch as I made my way back up the length of her body to her waiting lips.

I took her mouth hungrily with mine before slowing down to more tender kisses as my hand trailed down her body. As my hand rested just below her belly button, I had a brief flash back to the night in the cabin, when we were at the same point, only reversed, but it didn't happen. Now here we were well over a year later and she's had sex before, while I still hadn't.

She must have felt me tense up and knew she would have to break me from my own thoughts and hesitation.

"Babe, it's okay. I want this. I want you." She said softly, trying to encourage me.

"I don't know what I should do…I haven't been with anyone…I'm still a virgin…" I whispered, feeling my face redden at the admission.

"You mean, you and Maya never?" She asked as I shook my head. "Not Samara either?"

"Samara and I were close, but I couldn't go through with it. I knew I had feelings for you at that point and it wouldn't have been fair for either of us." I responded quietly.

"Well I'm glad you waited. I'm glad that I get to be your first… I've never been with a girl either, so we'll learn what to do together, okay? She said, probably choosing that over having to comment on the fact that she had sex with Caleb, as I simply nodded.

Before having any time to feel jealous over Caleb, she flipped our positions so that she was now on top of me. She kissed me sweetly before sliding down the length of my body and removing the last barrier between us. As she climbed back up my body, she rested her hand on the top of my thigh. When she reached my lips again, she stopped just before kissing me, looked me in the eye and whispered one simple sentence that I will never forget.

"I want to make love to you, Emily Fields" she said, each word laced with passion and pending desire. When she leaned down to kiss me, I felt her fingers move to my core.

She cupped me at first, as if waiting for permission. I moaned at the contact and spread my legs, allowing her better access. I gasped into her mouth as I felt her slip a finger between my wet folds. She explored every inch of me before finding my now incredibly swollen bundle of nerves. I bucked my hips into her hand when she first made contact.

I could feel her smile into my kiss, knowing she had found what she was looking for. She rubbed slow teasing circles around it. I tried readjusting my hips so that I could get more friction, but she pinned me down with her one leg still draped over mine. After a few minutes of teasing she slowed her finger completely causing me to whimper from the loss of contact. She broke our kiss long enough to look me in the eyes.

"I love you so much." She spoke quietly and truthfully, as she lowered her finger down to the entrance of my hole and gently slide one finger inside me. I moaned loudly as I felt her enter me, no longer caring that Mrs. Marin was sleeping just one room away.

Hanna began a slow steady rhythm between our bodies, bringing her finger completely out before re-entering me each time. Soon I could feel my breathing becoming more labored and it was hard to control the noises coming from my throat. She kissed me forcefully in an attempt to quiet my moaning as she increased her pace.

As she quickened our rhythm she also added another finger, further increasing the pressure that was building from the pit of my stomach. After a few more minutes of our bodies moving together as one, with Hanna's fingers buried inside me and my face buried in her shoulder, trying not to scream out, I felt myself tighten around her.

Fireworks shot out from behind my eyes and a wave of pleasure, more intense than I had ever imagined, broke over my body. Hanna remained inside of me but slowed her motions as she let me ride out the last few seconds of euphoria. When she finally pulled her fingers out, I shuddered from the loss of contact and the sensitivity of every nerve in my body.

I couldn't speak, I couldn't move, I just laid there in a complete state of bliss. Moments later I was only vaguely aware of Hanna pulling the covers back over us and holding me in her arms.

"I love you" was the last thing I remember hearing before falling asleep in the warm embrace of her arms.


	30. Chapter 30

Hanna's POV

Making love to Emily was more amazing than I had imagined it would be. I had never seen her look as beautiful as she did underneath me, panting, practically begging for release. She was so open and I knew that she did trust me.

When she finally found release, I felt on top of the world. I didn't really know what I should be doing but it didn't seem to matter. I had sex before, but it was nothing compared to this. Things with Caleb and I always seemed so forced, even awkward at times. With Emily things seemed natural. I didn't even have to think about where to touch her or what to do. I could tell by her body language, breathing, or soft moans what she liked. It's like we had this bond between us where words weren't necessary. We knew each other, better than anyone, now inside and out.

When I removed my fingers that had been buried deep within her, I felt her body shudder, as if suddenly missing an essential piece that made her complete. I knew in that moment that I did complete her, the same way she completed me. We fit perfectly together as if we were made for each other.

She laid there breathless, unable to move and I could see the sheer bliss written on her face. No matter how incredibly turned on I was, I didn't want to disturb her. We would have the rest of our lives to make love to each other, so I simply covered our exposed bodies with the blanket. I wrapped her in my arms, knowing that I never wanted to sleep again without her in them.

Emily's POV

I woke up several hours later cuddled against Hanna. When I first woke up I was afraid it had all been a dream, but the wetness I could still feel lingering between my legs, and hers against my thigh, confirmed that it had happened. I had lost my virginity to Hanna Marin.

Then it occurred to me. I had only partially lost my virginity to her. She made love to me, but I hadn't reciprocated before falling asleep. I knew it was really late and we had school in the morning, but I had an intense need to give her same pleasure she had given me.

I took a second to gaze at her sleeping soundly next to me, she looked like an angel. Her blonde locks had become tousled and her lips were plump, almost bruised, from last night's activities, making her look even more beautiful than I had ever seen her.

Part of me didn't want to disturb her. I could have laid there and stared at her all night, but I desperately wanted to touch her, kiss her, feel her, taste her, everywhere.

I started by slowly kissing at the base of her neck and collar bone, as they were the easiest places to reach from my spot in her arms. As the kisses continued, I could feel her begin to stir and moan quietly in her sleep. Thankfully she had loosened her grip enough that I could wiggle out of her grasp, allowing me more leverage to continue my exploration.

I kissed up the side of her neck to the base of her ear, before returning back down towards her chest. I stared for a moment at her beautiful breasts, rising and falling with each breath. Hanna didn't have large breasts, but they weren't small either. They were perfect, adorned with luscious pink nipples that I couldn't resist tasting.

I licked down her cleavage, her skin tasting both salty and sweet, a combination of sweat and her perfume. As I reached her nipples, I began drawing figure-eights around and between the two, hoping to wake her gently. She moaned again quietly, but remained sleeping. I flicked my tongue several times against one of her buds, feeling it harden instantly. After teasing both gently she still hadn't woken so I decided to increase the pressure. I began sucking on her right breast, alternating between flicking my tongue over her nipple and biting down slightly.

As my teeth tugged at her I heard her gasp above me, clearly surprised by how I chose to wake her, but not minding as I felt her arch her body further into my mouth. After a few minutes of attention, I felt her fingers tilt my chin up enough to look at her.

As I looked into her dark lust-filled eyes, I knew she was ready for what I wanted to do. I moved away from her chest and traveled back up towards her waiting mouth, kissing her ferociously when I reached her. She moaned into my mouth, perhaps surprised by my aggression, but kissed me back with equaling passion.

In one swift motion I moved my right hand from being tangled in her hair to between her legs. She groaned at the contact as I quickly began exploring her. She was so wet! I could feel her wetness from last night when I had woken up, but it was nothing compared to now. I teased her, almost unknowingly, for a few minutes as a reveled in the feel of her against my fingertips, wanting to memorize every inch.

Soon she was writhing beneath me, thrusting up into my hand, needing additional pressure. Without any words needed, I knew she was ready for more. I easily slipped two fingers into her and then back out. She gasped and clung to the sheets as I repeated this motion several times, loving the feeling of entering her and feeling her from within.

Finally, needing more of her, I plunged deep inside of her and began a steady rhythm which she matched in stride. Wanting to feel all of her, I bent my fingers in different directions for each thrust before finally finding the spot I was looking for. I knew immediately when I had found it because Hanna cried out loudly and bit down on my shoulder.

I don't know how I knew, but I could tell when she was close. Just before she released, I slowed my pace just slightly enough for her to open her eyes. Once she made eye contact, I leaned down to kiss her sweetly. After breaking away, I let myself collapse into her body, burying my own head in her neck as I continued to thrust inside of her. I kissed her ear just before whispering 'I love you'. Moments later I felt her walls tighten around my fingers and Hanna moaning out my name as she came.

I could feel the waves of pleasure rolling off her body and I steadied my hand inside of her as she began to come down. When I finally removed my hand and brought it back up her body. As she watched me, I slipped the two fingers in my mouth with a sudden urge to know what she tasted like. She tasted amazing. It was equal parts tangy, sweet, and salty.

When I removed my fingers, after licking every ounce of her from them, I looked down at her as she stared up at me. Her eyes were closed, her breath still labored, and a thin layer of sweat was glistening from her skin. She took my breath away.

The sight of her and the taste of her still on my lips fueled another wave of desire and bolstered new confidence. I quickly lowered myself down her body, settling just between her legs before she even noticed I was missing.

Hanna's POV

Wow. Just wow. There were no words.

One minute I was sleeping and the next Emily was teasing me out of my mind. I don't know how long she had been at it, but I could feel the wetness dripping down my legs, so I would guess it was a while. I was surprised, but definitely not complaining, about Emily's new found confidence. There was no hesitation when she slid her hand between my legs and began a teasing exploration until I practically begged her for.

For someone who had never had sex and had seemed nervous last night, she didn't let that show. Every touch was amazing and exactly where I needed it. She found my g-spot in a matter of seconds and used it to her full advantage. I was so close when I heard her whisper that she loved me, sending me over the edge with her name on my lips.

I stared up at her in complete awe when I saw her bring her fingers to her lips and suck them dry, seemingly enjoying the taste of me. I closed my eyes, only for a moment; enjoying the state of utter ecstasy she had left me in, when I felt tongue on me.

My eyes sprang open and I lifted my head to confirm my suspicions. There was Emily, sweet shy little Emily, with her head between my legs, licking me. I was still sensitive so every flick of her tongue felt incredible. At first it seemed like she had just wanted to taste me, but sensing my excitement, she slowed her motions, drawing tight circles around my throbbing clit, occasionally flicking her tongue directly across it.

She licked the length of me several times, teasingly slow, before gently sucking on my bundle of nerves. As I buried my hands in her hair for added encouragement, I was in awe that Emily had never done this before. Caleb had attempted to go down on me once, swearing he knew what he was doing, and it was a complete disaster. But Emily's tongue seemed experienced and confident.

She easily found my center and began circling my hole, causing me to thrust up into her mouth. I felt her arm snake around my hip and hold me in place, making it clear that she was the one in control. I surrendered to her pace and allowed her to continue exploring me with her mouth.

After a few more minutes, I couldn't take it anymore. Knowing my words were incoherent, I garbled out something along the lines of 'Please' before Emily conceded, slipping her tongue directly inside of me and moving her fingers to my clit. The sensation of her mouth and hand on me quickly sent me over the edge for the second time that morning.

When I came down I could feel her lazily lapping up my wetness, but I was now even more sensitive than before, almost painfully. I reached down and pulled her head from me, begging with my eyes for her to come lay next to me. Knowing instantly what I was trying to convey, she climbed up the bed and laid her head on my shoulder.

After two earth-shattering orgasms I was the one unable to move. Emily seemed to understand, whispering "Goodnight love" before kissing me softly on the check and curling into my body to get a few more hours of sleep before school.


	31. Chapter 31

Hanna's POV

The week of school was hard. Not because of what people thought or said about Emily and I, because I didn't really care. It was hard keeping my hands off Emily in public. I mean, we still did normal couple stuff like cuddling and quick kisses, but it took every ounce of strength not to rip her clothes off ten times a day.

Sure we got looks as we walked down the hall together holding hands, but it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought. People talked the first day or so, mostly just surprised, since I was the most popular girl at school and had dated both Sean and Caleb for so long.

Mona made a few Sapphic-inspired jokes at first but even she didn't really care. She almost seemed excited to have me out of direct competition for her quest over the boys' lacrosse team.

Mona and I pretty much ruled the school, so if we were both on board with something, then everyone else fell in line. So by the end of the week any whispering in the halls had stopped and people just treated us like a regular couple. Which in this day in age, we were.

Spencer and Aria were a different story though. They both enjoyed teasing us, mostly to see how embarrassed Emily would get when the topic of sex came up. We never really gave them any details when they asked, not that they really even wanted them; they just wanted to make her blush. The funny thing was that Emily was so shy in front of others, but when we were alone, she was completely the opposite.

Emily clearly liked being the more aggressive one in bed. Not that I minded! There were times when I wanted to set the pace or be in control, and sometimes she'd let me, but most of the time I found her so hot as a top, I just let her do with me as she wished.

Emily's POV

After our first night together we had both become insatiable. Before that night I never really understood why people made such a big deal about sex. I mean I would get turned on just like everyone else, but I guess I just didn't know what I was missing.

Now that I knew, I couldn't control myself. I wanted Hanna every minute of every day. Sitting in class on Friday afternoon, I couldn't help but stare at Hanna from across the room. I could tell she was trying desperately not to fall asleep during Mrs. Montgomery's lecture, but was having very little luck. It's not that Mrs. Montgomery was boring, she was actually one of the better teachers at Rosewood, but I had kept Hanna up even later than usual last night, going round after round.

Thankfully Hanna's mom had been busy with work lately and hadn't taken much time to notice that we would switch off sneaking into each other's rooms after lights out to make love until the sun came up. We were both running on empty from the lack of sleep but that didn't seem to slow either of us down.

Thinking back to last night started to get me worked up again. We only had one more period before the end of the day, but I couldn't wait that long, especially since I had swim practice after school. As soon as the bell rang, I sprang from my chair, rushed over to Hanna, grabbed her by the arm, and pulled her down the hallway to the parking lot.

Knowing we didn't have much time, we jumped in my car and raced away. We could have probably found somewhere at school to be alone, but with how worked up I was right now, I knew I wouldn't be able to be as quiet as we would need to be to not get caught.

I knew the perfect place for us to go where no one would find us, my house. The tenants had gotten held up on moving out of their old place and now weren't moving in until next week, so the place was completely empty. As we pulled up the house, Hanna gave me a curious look, but I ignored it and grabbed a blanket from my trunk.

I grabbed her arm as she got out of the car and dragged her towards the door. Once inside I slammed her against the far wall in the foyer, not even bothering to check if the door was closed, let alone lock it. I felt her groan into my mouth, clearly appreciative of my forcefulness.

Not even bothering to undress her, I hiked up her skirt and pulled her panties down her legs, letting them pool at her ankles as I entered her. At the same time I felt her loosen my belt and unbutton my jeans just enough to slip her hand in.

We quickly found our rhythm and were soon both moaning loudly, feeling free to express ourselves in a way that we hadn't been able to before. Hanna continued to stroke me as she begged for more between her moans and panting.

"Ohhh…fuck…I'm so close babe…harder…please…" She pleaded loudly.

"Yes…yes…ahhh….AHHHHH!" She screamed as she came hard, clenching herself around my fingers tightly.

Hanna's POV

I don't know how but Emily always seems to last longer than I do. This time it was probably because I didn't have leverage to create enough friction or reach where she really needed me, but even when I did, she always gets me to release quickly. I usually tried to hold off as long as I can but I swear sometimes I could come just from a sexy look, sly wink, or even the most chaste of kisses from her.

While my staying power hadn't really approved, my recovery time had. Given that this afternoon delight was Emily's idea, I knew she needed release probably more than I did. And while she clearly loved being dominant and getting me off, I am all about equal opportunity.

As I came down from my high I slipped my hands from her pants and quickly switched our positions, so that she was pressed up against the wall. I kissed her forcefully, sucking and biting at her bottom lip before sliding down the length of her body. Unzipping her pants further I was able to glide them down over her hips and off of her, taking her underwear with them.

I could feel her shudder in anticipation as I positioned myself between her legs, lifting one leg to the side to get better access. Emily loved when I sucked on her, but I wanted to make this last so I alternated between sucking and long teasing strokes.

Soon I could feel that she was getting close. Her knees had gone weak and I was now holding her hips against the wall with my free hand to keep her upright. Just as she was about to go over the edge, I pulled back and looked up at her.

"Hanna….what the hell?!" She spat at me, frustrated by the loss of contact. Her mood softened though as she made an eye contact with me. "What's wrong babe?" She asked in a worried tone.

"Nothing is wrong. I just wanted to ask you something…" I responded.

"Okay…then ask quickly and then get back to it!" She said jokingly.

"Will you go out with me tonight? Like on a real date…" I asked quietly.

"Seriously? You stopped going down on me to ask me to dinner and a movie?" She said showing her frustration but also laughing at the situation.

"Umm…yeah… I just don't want us to be only about sex. You're my girlfriend and I want to treat you like one, and not just in bed." I responded seriously. I hadn't meant to tease her like that but it had occurred me that all we had really done all week was go to school and have sex. We had never been on a date and I needed to rectify that immediately.

"Oh…Hanna…of course we can go out tonight. This isn't just about sex for me. I am in love with you." She said honestly taking a moment to look into my eyes before running her hands through my hair and pulling me back towards her.

I smiled into her as I resumed my previous position between her legs. Knowing she needed release sooner than later, I moved her leg over my shoulder to free up my right hand. As I began sucking her clit I entered her quickly, pressing deep within her, curling my fingers on each thrust, making sure to hit that special spot.

Within seconds she was close again. I loved going down on Emily. Feeling her contract around my fingers, tasting her on my tongue, smelling her arousal everywhere, seeing her writhe and quiver from my touch, and hearing her screaming my name was enough to send me over the edge with her. We were so lost in each other when she finally began to find release that I was only vaguely aware of a creaking sound behind me.

Afterwards I continued licking her softly, not enough to get her excited again. I just tried to clean her up, knowing she wouldn't have time to shower before heading back to school to cheer on the team during swim practice. At this point, she was relaxed into my body, allowing me to keep her from falling. A few moments later I felt her stiffen. I pulled back enough to catch her eye, but she wasn't looking down at me.

She was staring straight ahead. The color had drained from her face as if she had seen a ghost. As I turned I could feel the breeze from outside against my skin and then saw Maya standing in open door frame, holding a letter in her hand, with her mouth wide open.

"Uh…I'm sorry… I was just going to leave this but heard your voice… I didn't mean to…" Maya stammered as she backed out the door and began to leave.

"Shit…" Emily muttered as she pulled herself from my grip and struggled to get her jeans on. Before I even had time to react, Emily had run out the door after Maya, slamming it behind her as she left.

It was easy in this moment to let my insecurities get the best of me. Emily ran after Maya instead of staying with me. Did she love her too? Or maybe I was just a placeholder filling in until Maya was back. Either way, watching Emily chase after her was heartbreaking.


	32. Chapter 32

Emily's POV

"Uh…I'm sorry… I was just going to leave this but heard your voice… I didn't mean to…" Maya stammered as she backed out the door and began to leave.

"Shit…" I muttered, mostly to myself, as I stood there naked from the waist down, with Hanna kneeling in front of me, and Maya looking on, completely horrified.

I knew I didn't owe Maya anything and I shouldn't have cared what she thought, but for some reason I did. Without thinking I pushed myself off Hanna, threw my pants on, and followed after Maya, needing to explain. I hadn't seen her in over six months and hadn't spoken to her since the night I called her at boot-camp from an unlocked phone.

Maya was never all that athletic, so I caught up to her easily about a block away. As I opened my mouth to speak, she just handed me the letter she was still holding and turned away.

"Maya…wait…talk to me…" I called after her as she kept trying to walk away. Finally after following her for another block, she stopped.

"Just read the letter Em. It says everything I need to say." She responded quietly.

As I began to open the letter, she reached out for my hand, stopping my actions. A tiny bolt of energy flowed from her hand to mind, reminding of the passion we once had.

"Not now. Read it later and then call me if you still want to talk. My new number is at the bottom." She said before turning away.

Just as she was about to take a step, I saw her stop and barely above a whisper, I heard her speak, "So you and Hanna?"

"Yeah, it's new, well sort of old too. But yes, we're together." I responded wanting to be honest.

"Do you love her?" She asked hesitantly as she looked back towards me. Not needing words I simply nodded my head yes.

"I see. I have to go, please don't follow me. Just read the letter and call me if you want. I'll understand though if you don't." She stated quickly before practically running away.

I stood there for a minute, just holding her letter, not believing that she was back and was standing in front of me only moments ago. She looked broken by what she saw this afternoon. I never wanted her to have to witness me with someone else like that, regardless of how much she hurt me that night I called her.

It was probably also painful for her to know that I loved Hanna. I knew the night we were together in Spencer's room, before she left, she had wanted to tell me that she loved me, but she didn't. Had she said it, I probably would have said it back. She was the first person I allowed myself to care about in that way since Hanna and it was a big deal for me.

Oh god…Hanna.

I just left her there, still on her knees in my old house. I just ran off after Maya without an explanation. Shit!

I took off back towards my house but it was empty when I got there. My car was still there with my keys and purse, that I had dropped in the foyer during our vigorous foreplay, were now sitting on the driver's seat.

Panicking, I reached for my phone and tried to call Hanna, but it went to voicemail. I left her a voicemail to call me ASAP and then sent her a text, hoping she would at least see that.

_Babe…I'm so sorry. Seeing Maya totally freaked me out and I didn't want her to leave without talking to her. Please call me! _

After sending the text Hanna's house, hoping she was there, but it was empty. After trying to call her again, I saw that it was already after 4pm and I was late for swim practice. I wasn't able to swim yet, obviously, but the coach still wanted me at practice so I could observe and continue to be a part of the team until I got the 'all clear' from the doctors. Getting back in my car to head to the pool, I tried to ignore the nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach that I screwed everything up.

Hanna's POV

I stayed there, on the floor of Emily's old house for a few minutes, unsure of what to do. I thought at first Emily would come back, but when she didn't, I picked up her things and put them in her car. I could have driven home, but I knew she would eventually come back here when she realized she still had to go to swim practice.

I felt numb all over as I walked towards Aria's house. I would have normally gone to Spencer's but I figured she would have practice for one of her many sports of clubs, most likely field hockey or debate. Aria wasn't as involved in many after school activities, except for her art classes, but it was only two days a week, so I figured she would be home. I could have called, but I didn't even really know what to say.

Emily called a few times, but I didn't pick up. I was too hurt to speak to her right now. She even texted me a lame excuse about needing to talk to Maya, but she didn't need to leave me like that to do so.

When I finally got Aria's her house, her mother let me in.

"Hanna, are you feeling okay? You looked exhausted in class today and you don't look so good right now either…" Mrs. Montgomery asked me while before I headed up to Aria's room.

"Gee thanks Mrs. M." I tried to lighten the mood by teasing her. "I'm fine. I just didn't get enough sleep last night, that's all." I said as I climbed the stairs.

As I got to Aria's room, her door was closed but not locked so I just let myself in. I probably should have knocked but we normally never did, so I didn't even think of it. She had her music playing and was writing in her journal.

"Jesus Hanna! You scared the crap out of me!" She yelled when finally noticed me standing in the doorway.

"Sorry…I just didn't know where else to go…" I began, immediately beginning to cry.

Aria rushed over to me immediately and wrapped her arms around me, pulling my head down to rest on her shoulder. She hugged me for a few moments before guiding me over to her bed to talk.

"Han…what happened?" She asked. When I didn't respond she continued, "Is this about A? Hanna…you're scaring me…"

Through broken sobs I finally spoke. "Not A…Maya's…back…Emily…left…"

"What? Maya's back? Emily left you?!" I could tell Aria was beginning to panic but trying to keep it together so I could calm down enough to speak.

About a half an hour later, when I had my emotions a little more under control, I explained everything. Well almost everything. I didn't go into too many details about what we actually did in Emily's house, just that we were 'messing around' when Maya walked in. I'm pretty sure she knew it was more than making out, but she didn't push.

After I had explained, I could tell Aria was going through the scenario again in her head, looking for a way to justify Emily's departure.

"She was probably just surprised to see Maya. They haven't seen each other in a year and it was really hard for Emily to lose her…" Aria began.

"So she would rather just walk away from me to be with her?" I countered.

"No, she didn't leave you Hanna. She loves you. She probably just needed to explain. It was probably pretty hard for Maya to see you guys…like that… Emily was probably just trying to make sure she was okay." Aria continued trying to smooth things over not even knowing what Emily's real explanation was.

"Whether she needed to explain or not, she shouldn't have left me there like that. It felt like we were having some sort of torrid affair and her husband walked in and caught us." I confessed, feeling the tears well up in my eyes again.

Just as Aria was about to speak, we heard a knock at her door.

"Aria, your mom ordered the pizza and we have the board games out…" Mr. Montgomery said as he walked in, before realizing I was over. "Oh Hanna…I didn't realize you were over. Tonight's family fun night, do you want to join us?" He asked, probably seeing my red eyes and tear stained cheeks.

"Umm…I don't want to impose on family time. I'll just head home." I responded.

"Nonsense. You know we consider you family. Plus Mike is refusing to come out of his room, so we need a fourth anyway." He responded with complete sincerity.

A part of me had always wished that my family could have been more like theirs. Sure they had their problems, like everyone, but they really made a point to spend time together as a family. I had always been envious of this, but looking at Mr. Montgomery as he waited for my response, I realized that they were my family too.

"Umm, sure. I can stay I guess. Let me just tell my mom." I said smiling appreciatively at his gesture.

When I pulled out my phone I realized I had been at Aria's longer than I thought, it was almost 6 o'clock. I had 6 missed calls from Emily and a few more texts. Ignoring them all I sent a quick text to my mom letting her know I wouldn't be home for dinner and put my phone on silent and put it back in my purse.

I turned towards Aria who just gave me a big hug before we headed downstairs to join her parents.

We spent hours playing various board games and even charades while munching on pizza and popcorn. Normally Aria's family was pretty health conscious but her mom explained that one night a week they all splurged on junk food to get their fix, and then it was back to fruits and vegetables for the rest of the week.

After working so hard Sophomore year to lose weight I normally avoided junk food, but I always seemed to go back to it when I was in a bad mood. I could feel myself binging, eating the pain away, but I knew no matter how much I ate, I couldn't let myself purge it the way that Alison taught me to. I would not go down that path again, it was far too dangerous.

Finally a little after 11pm we decided to call it a night and put the games away before heading back up to Aria's room. She grabbed her phone from her nightstand as soon as we got upstairs to check for messages. It was apparently house rules that no cell phones were allowed during 'family fun' time, a rule which I obeyed without complaint, wanting to forget about the outside world for a few hours.

"Oh my god. I have 4 missed calls from Emily and a bunch of texts. She's freaking out. Does she not know where you are?" Aria exclaimed as she scrolled through her phone.

"Umm…no. She called me earlier but I never picked up. I just told my mom I wasn't going to be home for dinner, but not where I was." I responded quietly, knowing I should be ashamed for avoiding my own girlfriend, if she even still was mine.

"Hanna…" Aria started.

"No. She hurt me and she can deal with it. You can let her know I'm here and safe, but I am not ready to talk to her yet. Can I stay here tonight?" I pleaded to Aria.

"You know you can always stay here, but I don't want to be in the middle of this. You are both my friends and I am not going to pick sides. I'll let Emily know you're okay and staying here, but I won't be your go-through for communication. Got it?"

"Yes ma'am" I responded, hoping teasing would ease the mood a little.

As Aria texted away, to Emily I assumed, but probably Ezra too based on her smile, I went to Aria's dresser to grab some pjs and get ready for bed. I climbed into her bed when it suddenly dawned on me that even though she hurt me, it was her I wanted next to me in bed, not Aria.

When Aria climbed into bed about a half hour later, we both just laid on our backs, staring at the ceiling. I missed Emily but I was too proud to admit it to myself, let alone Aria. After a few minutes of silence she finally spoke.

"It's going to be OK Han. Really…" She said, giving my hand a quick squeeze before turning over and going to sleep.

I laid there on my back for what felt like an eternity silently crying. I was exhausted, but I couldn't sleep. Eventually the sun came up and I started to hear movement coming from the kitchen. Knowing Aria was still knocked out, I climbed over her and headed downstairs.

Ella's POV

I was always the early riser in the family. While everyone else took advantage of a Saturday morning I always woke up at my usual time. I hated to disturb Byron so I always snuck downstairs to enjoy a few cups of coffee and the paper before everyone else woke up.

Halfway through my first cup I heard someone creeping down the stairs and I was quite surprised to see that it was Hanna.

"Good morning… I'm surprised you're up so early. You girls usually sleep in pretty late." I said to her as I stood to grab her a cup of coffee.

"I couldn't sleep and I heard you so I figured I would come down. Is that okay?" She asked tentatively.

"Of course! You couldn't sleep again? You look even more tired than yesterday. Is everything okay? I'm starting to worry about you…" I asked, as I handed her the coffee mug, knowing that she knew where we kept the milk and sugar.

I was starting to really be concerned about Hanna. She seemed tired and distracted in class all week. Ashley had mentioned the recent developments in Hanna and Emily's relationship, so at first I just chalked it up to young love. They both seemed exhausted throughout the week but exhilarated when around each other. It was nice seeing them hold hands in the hallway and comfortable enough to be affectionate with each other. The no bullying policy was one of the reasons that I loved Rosewood High so much. People were accepted for who they were and there was a zero tolerance policy for discrimination.

While Emily and Hanna seemed great all week, something had changed. When Hanna came over yesterday she looked as if she had been crying. And now she had bags under her eyes from the lack of sleep and they were puffy, making me assume she had cried throughout the night too.

I considered Hanna as much of my daughter as the rest of the girls. Ashley, Pam, and I were good friends and always made sure to take care of each other's girls. We weren't very close with Veronica, not that anyone was, but we considered Spencer one of our own too.

I knew teenage girls rarely want to talk to their mothers about problems, but sometimes we could get some insight when they would talk to one of each other's parents. We wouldn't divulge too much to each other if one of the girls confided in us, but we would share what was necessary.

Breaking me from my train of thought, before Hanna had even responded, we heard the doorbell. Hanna looked at me, shocked that someone else was up this early, given that it was barely 7am. I was just as shocked until I answered the door and saw Emily.

She looked just as miserable as Hanna, maybe even moreso. Her hair was in a messy pony tail, her eyes were bloodshot and puffy, and her expression showed fear and anxiety.

"Hi Mrs. M. Sorry to come over so early… Is Hanna here?"


	33. Chapter 33

Emily's POV

Swim practice seemed to take forever. It was killing me not to be in the pool but the doctors said I couldn't swim for at least 3-4 weeks. I was still expected at practice though to support the team even if I couldn't race.

I had wanted to bring my phone with me into the stands but I knew coach would get mad if she saw me on it when I was supposed to be watching everyone's techniques and giving advice. When practice finally ended I raced into the locker room to grab my bag and check my messages.

My heart sank deep in my chest when I didn't have any. Hanna hadn't called or texted. Hoping maybe she was back at home waiting for me I hurried out to the parking lot.

When I got there, only Mrs. Marin was home. I asked if she had seen Hanna she said that she had gotten a text from Hanna saying she wouldn't be home for dinner.

Figuring she was probably with Aria and/or Spencer, I tried calling both of them, but no one picked up. I spent most of the night aimlessly flipping through channels on the television and calling them. A few hours later Spencer called me back.

"Hey Em, is everything okay? I got your half a dozen missed calls and texts…" Spencer asked

"Spence, is Hanna with you? I am really worried that I haven't heard from her." I responded.

"No she's not here, nor have I heard from her. What's going on?"

I explained, with as little embarrassing details as possible, what had happened that afternoon between Hanna and I and then Maya showing up and me going after her.

"Oh wow… I don't know Em. Hanna's probably pretty hurt that you left her. She probably went to Aria's, knowing she'd be home right after school." Spencer said after my confession.

"You're probably right. Sorry for all the calls. I just am panicking a little. Her ignoring me reminds of last time and I can't go through that again, especially when this time it's my own fault she's upset." I responded as I thought out loud.

"Em…I'm really sorry but I have to go. Melissa just got home and is on a warpath about something. Text me later if you need anything, okay?"

"Sure. Thanks for your help Spencer." I replied before hanging up.

I called Aria and Hanna a few more times, but neither answered. As I sat on the couch thinking about how everything had gone wrong so quickly, I remembered Maya's letter.

Pulling it from my back pocket I knew now was as good of a time as any to read it. I carefully opened the envelope, pulling out the letter, smoothing the page before reading.

_Dear Emily,_

_I know it's been half a year since we have spoken. I'm sorry that it's taken me this long to contact you again. I've wanted to call you or write you a hundred times but couldn't build up the courage._

_For a while I resented you for what happened to me and being sent to True North. I know now that it wasn't your fault. It wasn't even your mom's fault. It was mine. _

_It took me a long time to realize that and when I did, I also had to accept how horrible I was to you. I want to apologize from the bottom of my heart. You didn't deserve that. You deserve someone who is honest and open with you, who accepts you for who you are, and loves you no matter what. _

_Our final night together I wanted to tell you that I loved you, but I saw something in your eyes that scared me. I always felt a slight hesitation from you when things got serious or intense. I think you may have loved me too, but I was afraid I wasn't the only one in your heart. _

_Now I wonder if that was just my own insecurity. You never gave me a reason not to trust you and I should have been honest with you. I wonder now everyday how things would have turned out with us if I had told you. Maybe we would even still be together. _

_I know that it's been a long time and that we have a long way to go to get to know each other again, but I want to prove to you that I've changed and that I would never take you for granted again. _

_I love you Emily. _

_Always,_

_Maya_

_P.S. Please call me sometime, even if it's just as a friend, my new cell phone number is (215) 555-6892._

By the time I finished Maya's letter, I was crying. I wasn't really sure why, but I was. Part of me wanted to hear her say those things for so long, but now that she had, it was too late.

I owed a lot to Maya though. She helped me really accept who I am and gave me space while I dealt with it. She was there for me through a really difficult time and we were happy. I feel guilty that she noticed my hesitations with her. Anytime we got close to being intimate or had a serious conversation about our feelings, I would only let it go so far before stopping or changing the subject.

I don't think I realized I was even doing it at the time, but looking back I was doing it to protect myself. I didn't want to fall in love with her because I didn't want to get hurt the way I did with Hanna. Even more so, I wasn't over Hanna. I tried to pretend that I was and that nothing ever happened, but she owned my heart and I wasn't ready to claim it back. I'm still not nor will I ever be.

I knew in my heart of hearts that Hanna was the only one I wanted. But my actions today have made her doubt me and now I don't even know where she is.

After several more restless hours I finally got a text from Aria.

_I'm sorry I didn't see this sooner! Hanna's here and she's safe. I don't want to get in between you two but I didn't want you to worry either. She's going to stay here tonight. Let me know if you need anything Em. I'm here for both of you! Goodnight! xoxo _

For the first time all night I felt like I could breathe again. It's been almost 8 hours since I saw her last and I was starting to imagine the worst. I was glad she was safe, but terrified that I still hadn't heard from her.

What if she didn't understand? What if she didn't forgive me? I just got her back, I can't lose her again.

Knowing that I needed to do something, I pulled out my phone and called Spencer.

"Hey Spencer…I need a favor" I said as soon as she answered.

"Sure…anything…what's going on" She responded, always happy to help.

I explained my plan to her and she helped me make all the necessary arrangements. In order to set the plan in motion I would have to lie to Mrs. Marin, which I didn't like doing, but I didn't have a choice.

After packing two bags quickly, I knocked on Mrs. Marin's bedroom door. I knew she wasn't asleep yet since the light was on. When I entered the room she was sitting in bed, wearing a light pink lace nightgown with her hair up and black framed glasses. She must have been reading before bed because she held a worn book in her lap with an empty glass of wine next to her on the nightstand.

I stared at her for a brief moment, finding myself oddly excited. I wasn't attracted to Mrs. Marin, at least not really. Of course she was beautiful, anyone could see that, but I saw her as a mother or friend, so I never thought about her in that way. Seeing her like this made me picture Hanna 20 years from now. Suddenly I could picture myself walking into our bedroom together after years of marriage finding her reading before we went to sleep, although in her case it would probably be a fashion magazine. Imaging this kind of future with Hanna gave me a new type of butterflies in my stomach. I knew that I wanted that with her. I wanted a life with her, forever.

Ashley's POV

Breaking Emily from her being deep in thought, I spoke first. "Emily, do you need something or are you just saying goodnight?"

"Umm…sorry. I was actually just stopping in to see if it was okay if Hanna and I could go to Spencer's lake house for the weekend since the weather has been so nice…Hanna's already at Aria's and Spencer is going to pick us up from there…if it's okay." She rambled in what one long run-on sentence.

Smiling at her nervousness, she was still unsure of asking for things or for permission, even though I've tried to make it clear this is her home too. "It's a little late, but sure that's fine I guess. Are the Hastings going to go with you or are you girls going alone?"

"Umm, I don't know. Spencer didn't say. I think Melissa's in town so she might come too, but her parent's don't usually get out there much because of work." She answered. I had a feeling she threw Melissa's name in just so there was a possibility of a guardian, but I knew Melissa and Spencer didn't always get along, so she wouldn't end up going.

"Okay. Well, you girls have fun and be safe! I'd really prefer you not drive there tonight. Why don't you all just sleep at Aria's or Spencer's and leave first thing in the morning?" I responded. After all, it wasn't the first time the girls had gone away without parental supervision. They were all pretty responsible kids and I trusted them to make the right decisions, at least when it counted.

"That's a great idea. We wouldn't be able to do anything up there at this hour anyway. I'll head over to Spencer's now then. Thanks again Mrs. Marin! Have a good night!" She said turning to leave the room.

"You're welcome. And Emily, you don't have to call me Mrs. Marin. I don't expect you to call me mom either, but maybe one day you will, assuming things work out with you and Hanna, but for now just call me Ashley, okay?" I said as she turned back. Every time she called me Mrs. Marin it made me think of my mother-in-law. I hoped that maybe if Emily called me by my first name it would make her more comfortable, after all, I may end up being her mother-in-law one day.

Emily stood there for a second, stunned, biting at her bottom lip. She was clearly deciding whether to ask something so I nodded slightly to encourage her. "How would you feel about that? Hanna and I working out…long term, I mean?" She asked quietly.

"I'd be happy of course. You're a great girl Emily. I've always loved you and I can see that Hanna is head over heels for you. Granted it's not exactly the life I would have pictured for her, but only in one small aspect. What any mother wants for their daughter is for them to be loved and taken care of, which I know you would do. Also, in this day and age, you can get married and have children and have the life I pictured. Who cares if it's a man or a woman next to her at the altar or holding her hand during labor? In the end the only thing that matters is love and you two have that." I spoke clearly, letting her know that I meant every word.

"Wow…thank you." Emily responded quietly, perhaps stunned by my overt approval.

"No thanks necessary Emily. I'm sure your mother feels the same way about your life and future." I stated, hoping to bring up the subject as to whether Pam knew about Hanna. It was hard on the phone dancing around the subject.

"I don't know about that. Sure she's made progress, but we don't really talk about the future. And…I haven't exactly told her about Hanna yet." She confessed.

"Are you planning to soon? You know the longer you wait the harder it will be. I think your father suspects based on the few times I've spoken with him this week, but your mom is clueless. You need to tell her. Plus it's getting hard for me to skirt around the issue on the phone with her. Not that I would ever tell her what you guys do at night when you think I'm asleep." I said teasingly, hoping to lighten the somber mood that had taken Emily over.

"Ugh…what?" Emily practically choked on her own tongue.

"Emily, I'm a heavy sleeper, but I can hear you two sneaking into each other's rooms. I don't want to know what you are doing behind the closed doors and I won't ask. You're both responsible young adults and I trust you. Plus it's not like I have to worry about one of you ending up pregnant." I joked. "Just please tell her so I don't have to lie to her. Okay?"

"Yeah…okay. I'll tell her." She responded. "Hey…Ashley…thanks for everything. Thanks for accepting me, for accepting Hanna and I as a couple, and trusting us to be together. I really love her and I can't imagine my life without her now."

At her admission I climbed out of bed and walked towards her in the doorway. "You're welcome. I'm happy that Hanna has you." I said as I pulled her into a hug.

She let me hold her the way that only a mother could. I felt my heart swell knowing that Emily would be in our lives for a long time, hopefully forever.

Spencer's POV

About an hour after I talked to Emily I heard her call pulling through the gate and went to meet her at the door. I had packed a few essential things for them that I knew the lake house wouldn't have yet, like food and drinks. I also threw a few bottles of champagne, hoping if they could celebrate after they made up.

When Emily and I had talked before she seemed determined to drive up there with Hanna right away, but she brought her bag in with her and let me know she would wait until morning. I put the bag of food and drinks back in the fridge as she went up to my room to crash for the night.

By the time I got up there she was already changed and in my bed, so I quickly followed suit. As I climbed into bed I wondered if Hanna would ever be jealous of us like this. Emily and I had always been affectionate with each other and slept frequently in the same bed. It was never a big deal before because even though we knew Emily was gay, it never made things awkward. But now that they were a couple, I wondered if the rules had changed.

Before I could think much more about it, I felt Emily put her head on my shoulder and grab my hand.

"Thanks for being such a great friend Spence. I don't know what I would do without you." She whispered honestly.

"Of course Em. I'm always here for you, just like you're always there for me when I need you. That's what friends do." I replied.

"Do you think this plan will work? I mean do you think I can even convince her to come with me?"

"Hanna loves you. Regardless of what happened, that isn't going to change. She might be hurt or scared, giving your history with Maya and her own insecurities, but you guys will move past it. Plus she's gotta at least appreciate how crazy romantic this gesture is. Everything will be fine…I know it…" I said wanting to give Emily some confidence.

"I hope you're right…" She murmured as she clung to my hand.

I knew that this was their first night apart since she was in the hospital and that it was probably impossibly hard for her. I tried to stay awake as long as I could but eventually I drifted off to sleep.

When I woke a few hours later, Emily was still in the same position on my shoulder and still wide awake. We stayed there, not speaking, just in comfortable silence for a while longer before finally getting up.

It was still early but she couldn't wait any longer. She headed over to Aria's to get Hanna while I went to the lake house to set everything up.


	34. Chapter 34

Hanna's POV

I almost spilled my coffee on myself when I heard Emily's voice at the door. Before responding to Emily, Mrs. Montgomery looked over to me to see if I was okay with seeing her. I wasn't quite sure what to do. Before I even made up my mind, I felt my legs dragging me towards the door.

Upon seeing my approach Mrs. Montgomery nodded her head yes and ushered Emily in. As she closed the door she muttered that she would be upstairs if we needed anything and to try to keep quiet since everyone else was still sleeping.

I only half listened to her words as I stared at Emily standing before me. She looked as miserable as I felt and probably also did. Once Mrs. Montgomery was out of sight, Emily finally spoke. "Can we talk?" She asked quietly, not because of the sleeping house, but out of fear that I would say no.

Rather than responding, I nodded my head yes and walked into the living room. We sat on the couch together but at opposite ends. Realizing this, Emily slide closer towards me and took my hand in hers.

"Hanna…I need to explain about yesterday…" She began. "I'm really sorry that I just left you there like that. There is no excuse for it. Seeing Maya threw me and brought up some old feelings that I wasn't prepared to deal with…"

"Oh…" I breathed out, fearing she just confessed to having feelings for Maya. I lowered my head hoping she couldn't see the tears forming in my eyes.

Emily must have sensed my retreat because she squeezed my hand tighter and lowered her own head to catch my eyes.

"Not feelings like that. Feelings of abandonment and heart break. I really cared for her and she hurt me when I called her that from camp, remember?" She said as I nodded to confirm. "I got drunk and then ended up taking it out on you, realizing Maya did the same thing that both you and Ali did to me. It wasn't fair that I did that to you but I was hurting. Maya was the first person I actually allowed myself to care about after you. She also was the one who helped me accept who I am."

She continued speaking but never dropped her gaze into my eyes, making sure that I heard and understood every word. "That being said, she was, and still is, important to me. But not in the way that you are. You are my everything. I felt like I needed to explain things to her after she saw us like that yesterday. I needed her to know that what she and I had was real, but that I am with you and am in love with you. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you that before leaving yesterday, it wasn't fair to you and I promise I will never make you doubt us again. That is, assuming you will give me that chance?" She finished, leaving her heart in my hands for me to either forgive her or walk away.

I was still unable to speak. It had hurt me, but I did understand why she felt like she had to explain things to Maya. After giving it more thought I realized that I would have done the same thing if Caleb had walked in on us in the middle of having sex. It wasn't fair for me to punish Emily when I would have reacted similarly.

I didn't know though what I should say. Do I apologize too for overreacting? Do I tell her it's okay but not to let it happen again? Do I say 'I forgive you'? Instead, I lifted my hand and ran my fingers through her messy hair, curling my hand behind her head and pulled her in for a kiss. It was the only way I could convey all of those things with one simple action.

When she pulled away and looked into my eyes, I said the only words that mattered, "I love you."

Emily's POV

Those three words were the only things I needed to hear. I was scared all night that I had screwed things up, but being here, kissing Hanna, I knew everything would be okay.

A few minutes later I pulled away when I heard someone coming down the stairs. I sat up, leaving Hanna still lying back on the couch. As I looked up, I saw Aria, still half asleep, making her way into the living room.

"Hey Em! Was that you at the door? It's early…" She said before noticing Hanna lying half in my lap and half on the couch, smiling from ear to ear. "Oh…well I see you two have made up!"

Immediately she was over at the couch with her arms around me, pulling me in for a tight hug. "I was so worried about you guys. Hanna was a mess last night and based on how you look, it seems you were too…" She teased as I gently punched her in the arm and Hanna groaned in protest.

"Seriously though, thanks for everything Aria. I know you didn't want to get in between anything, but knowing that Hanna was safe and okay last night helped. I can't even imagine the state I'd be in now had I not known where she was." I said back to her as Hanna finally sat up next to me.

"I'm glad I could help…" She responded.

"Speaking of help. I need a favor…" I began as she narrowed her eyes, but smiled, urging me to continue.

Wanting it to still be a surprise for Hanna, I leaned in and whispered the rest in her ear. "I have a surprise planned for Hanna. I'm taking her up to Spencer's lake house for the rest of the weekend so we can have some alone time. When I asked Hanna's mom, I let her assume we were all going, so can you stay at Spencer's but tell your parents we're at the lake house? Ashley might call your mom to confirm, but she'd never call the Hastings."

"Of course Em!" She practically squealed in response. Aria loved surprises and she always loved big romantic gestures, so I could tell she was glad to be involved, even if she was only a cover story. She leaned in towards me again to whisper the next part, "In return, I want all the details later…well maybe not all, but you know what I mean…"

I smiled at her but agreed. I would fill her in on Monday but leave out the really juicy stuff. And if the weekend goes as planned, it will all be juicy, so it'll take about 2 seconds to give Aria the 'details.'

"Great…thank you so much! I'm going to steal Hanna away now…" I said grabbing Hanna's arm and dragging her off the couch with me.

She had no clue what was going on, but followed me anyway. Normally she would have hounded me to spoil the surprise, but she seemed content to let things play out. It was probably just because she was so tired, but I was grateful because when she gave me her puppy dog face, it was hard not to cave in.

We left Aria's in a hurry and got into my car. I had made sure to put all the bags and supplies in the trunk, so she wouldn't realize we were going out of town. I could tell she was exhausted and we had about an hour drive ahead of us, so I plugged my iPhone in and put on Vitamin String Quartet. Hanna liked them as much as I did, but we had very different reactions. I usually listened to their songs before a swim meet to clear my head and re-focus my energy, but Hanna liked to listen to them before bed, she usually could only make it about one song in before completely knocking out.

Just as I had suspected, she was asleep within minutes. I looked over at her at several points during the drive, captivated by her beauty and the slow rise and fall of her breathing. She murmured and stirred a few times, but never woke up completely. She moved just enough to grab hold of my hand or softly rub my forearm before falling back asleep.

When we arrived at the lake house I was afraid to wake her. I gently removed my hand from hers and put the car in park. Climbing out quietly I grabbed all the bags and moved them into the house. Spencer must have just left because everything was set up exactly as we had discussed. The fridge was stocked, the dust-covers had been removed from all the furniture, and the shades were up offering up a spectacular view of the lake. Spencer even pumped it up a notch by sprinkling a rose pedal path to the bedroom Hanna and I would use.

When I walked in the rooms to drop off our overnight bags, my mouth dropped in complete awe. Spencer put down the black-out shades and lit dozens of candles and making the room instantly feel romantic. Next to the bed was a silver ice bucket, a bottle of what I assumed to be very expensive champagne, and chocolate truffles (Hanna's favorite). On the bed was a note addressed to both of us. I wanted to read it but figured I should wait for Hanna before doing so.

I hurried out the room, closing the door so I could reveal it to Hanna. Going back out the car, I wasn't surprised to find Hanna still sleeping. I opened the passenger side door and leaned over to unbuckle her. I leaned in to kiss her and she immediately moved her hands to my neck, pulling me closer and giving me an idea.

I know it's corny, but I always found it so romantic in movies where the guy carries the girl over the threshold and lies her down on the bed. Not that I was the 'guy' in the relationship, but I was the one making the grand gesture, so it only seemed right.

I was still a little weak from my stomach ulcer, but in strength/weight training I had easily lifted 150lbs or more. Hanna was closer to 110lb so I figured it shouldn't be a problem.

I carefully slide my left arm under her, leaving her arms around my neck, hoping she would hold herself up while I carefully glided her out of the car. She officially woke up about halfway through my struggling and started laughing.

"Em…what are you doing?" She said between loud belly laughs.

"Shut up! I'm trying to be romantic and you're not helping." I responded, half joking and half actually frustrated that it was so hard to get her out of the car. It would have been easier if she was on a chair or even standing, but the car door kept getting in my way.

I felt her try to contain her laughing and pull herself up around my neck, making it easier to get a good grip on her. After a few more seconds of struggling, I finally got her out of the car and was holding her up. I stood for a minute before walking towards the house.

"Spencer's lake house?" She asked after realizing where we were.

"Yep. I figured we needed some alone time, where we wouldn't have any interruptions. Plus, I kind of have a thing with you and cabins." I responded as I smiled down at her.

"I love you" She responded, angling her face towards me, requesting a kiss, which I granted immediately.

When we got to the door, she reached down to open it, knowing I didn't really have a free hand and was starting to feel the burn in my arms from her weight. Once inside, she started to shift as if I should put her down, but I wasn't ready to let her go yet.

"Be patient my love. An even better surprise awaits." I said as I began climbing the stairs, following the path of rose petals. The stairs were challenging and I could feel myself getting light headed, but I pressed on, not wanting to ruin the moment.

When we finally reached the bedroom, she again helped open the door as we stepped through.

"Wow…Em…" I heard her breathe out in complete awe.

Carefully I walked towards the bed and laid her down on top of the rose petals that Spencer had arranged into a heart.

"This is amazing. How did you do all this?" Hanna asked, looking around the room, taking everything in as I closed the door, blocking out the light in the hallway.

"I had a little help." I responded. "Speaking of which…" As I picked up the card off the bed and read it aloud.

_Dear Emily and Hanna,_

_I hope you enjoy my little surprise. Emily said she wanted a romantic weekend away and I wanted to make sure you got it. _

_I love you both so much and I am so happy that you are together. You both compliment and challenge each other, which fuels the passion and love between you. _

_Never doubt what you mean to each other. You two have the kind of love that people only dream of finding. _

_Enjoy the weekend and try to forget about the outside world for a few days. We'll all still be here when you get back. Take this time to really show each other how love is in your heart._

_Love always,_

_Spencer_

As I finished reading Spencer's note, I felt tears beginning to stream down my face. Looking down at Hanna, I could see she was just as moved as I was.

She knelt on the bed, moving towards me, taking my hand in hers. She placed my hand directly on her heart, while mimicking the action with her own hand on my heart. The gesture was simple and silent, but it spoke volumes.

We were in each other's hearts, forever. We didn't need words, our love spoke for itself.


	35. Chapter 35

Hanna's POV

My weekend away with Emily was amazing. We spent almost the entire day on Saturday making love and sleeping in each other's arms. After several rounds of each, our internal clocks were a little off. It was a little before midnight and we were both wide awake, not to mention starving.

Slipping on the robes that Emily had packed for us, we went downstairs to see what Spencer had stocked the fridge with. She had packed enough for an army even though we were only going to be gone two days.

I started rummaging through the containers when Emily pulled me into the huge open living room and told me to sit and relax while she cooked. She was insistent on making this weekend all about me and I was not about to complain.

Emily and I ate, in perfect silence, in the sunroom, overlooking the moonlit lake. After we finished and had successfully refueled, I had an idea for what I wanted to do next.

Without speaking I stood up from the table and carried our plates into the kitchen. When I returned, I held a bottle of champagne and two glasses in my hands. Emily stared at me lovingly when I approached but was surprised when I passed her by and headed towards the porch door.

I felt her eyes on me the entire way down the stairs and out to the beach. Stopping briefly, I placed the bottle and glasses in the sand. I kept my back towards her as I slowly untied my robe and let it fall from my body.

I began walking towards the lake, stopping only once to look over my shoulder. Emily was staring at me, mouth wide open, as if glued to her spot on the porch. I motioned for her to follow and continued walking to the water.

Only when I got to the water did I realize this was maybe not the best idea I'd ever had. It was still early spring and the water was freezing. Not wanting to give up, I continued into the icy water. I stood with my back to the house, towards the water and moon.

As I stood completely still, I could only hear the sound of the soft waves crashing on the shore and Emily's footsteps in the sand. Soon I could hear gasp as she entered the water and soft splashes as she approached.

When she reached me she just stood next to me as I stared at the moon.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" I spoke finally.

"Yes…the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." She said softly, her voice filled with love and passion.

I looked at her after she spoke, realizing she was no longer looking at our surroundings, but at me. With that admission, she grabbed my hand and pulled me into her.

As our bodies collided, I no longer felt the chill of the water. Our bodies were on fire as we clung to each other. We stayed like that for several minutes. We didn't speak, we didn't even kiss, we just held on to each other as if it was the only way for either of us to keep from floating away.

Finally I felt Emily pull away from me just enough to lean down and capture my lips with her own. While it was filled with passion, it was slow and simple. She broke away, leaving me breathless, and began guiding us back towards the shore.

When we exited the water, I realized why it had taken Emily a few minutes to join me in the water. She had brought down several towels and set out a large blanket on the beach.

As we both walked naked, hand in hand, towards the top of the beach, Emily reached down to grab the first towel and wrap it around my shivering body. Before even grabbing one for herself, she rubbed the towel against my arms, hoping to create friction to warm me up.

After a few minutes of drying off she grabbed an extra-large dry towel, discarded our now damp ones, and wrapped us up together. Joining only our hands, she led me over to the blanket and motioned for me to sit down.

As we both lowered ourselves onto the blanket, she positioned herself behind me so that I was sitting in between her legs. I could feel the heat from between her legs against my back, instantly warming the rest of my body.

Knowing that she was probably still freezing, I pulled the blanket up to cover her feet after gently massaging them, trying to increase blood flow and provide some warmth. She murmured softly to herself as I rubbed her feet, enjoying the sensation of my warm hands on her cold skin.

We sat there for a long time, just holding each other, staring out onto the moon's reflection in the lake when I remembered that I had brought down champagne. I shifted slightly, hearing Emily groan at the loss of contact and body heat, to grab the bottle and the glasses. When I returned to her arms she purred in my ear and kissed at the sensitive spot right below it, making me shiver in pleasure.

The bottle opened with a loud pop and came flowing out quickly as I tried to pour without exposing too much of my skin to the cold night's air. After filling our glasses I placed the bottle next to us and repositioned myself again between her legs so that I could face her.

As I handed her a glass, I wanted to make a toast, so I lifted my glass against hers and began, "To an amazing weekend away with my beautiful girlfriend. I know we'll have our ups and downs along the way but as long as we have each other, we can get through anything. I love you so much Em."

Emily's POV

Hanna and I eventually moved back inside after finishing the bottle of champagne. Neither of us were tired though, so we curled up on the couch and watched the sunrise over the lake. I had never watched the sun rise before, but watching it with Hanna made it seem liked our love raised it. Like the world was turning and the day was beginning, just for us.

We spent the rest of the day much like the one before it, making love and holding each other. Once early evening rolled around, we both knew we needed to pack up and start heading home. It wasn't a long drive but Ashley had called and wanted us home for dinner, so we couldn't wait much longer to leave.

The drive back was bittersweet. We rode silently, holding each other's hand firmly in our own. We knew that we were headed back to reality, back to a place where our problems existed. But it was also a place where we had a future, where we could start our lives together, even if we were only in high school.

We had a lot we would need to decide over the next few years, like where to go to college, what to major in, what we wanted to be, but we already knew the most important thing. We both knew deep down in our souls that we were going to be together for all of it.


	36. Chapter 36

Maya's POV

I had tried calling Emily throughout the weekend, but kept getting her voicemail. The whole weekend I kept replaying the scene in my head between Emily and I on the street. She said that she was in love with Hanna, but she had chased me from her house to tell me that. If she didn't have any feelings for me, she would have just let me leave, but instead she followed.

I knew those feelings would probably never be romantic again, but at least there was something there. For some strange reason, I needed Emily in my life. We hadn't spoken in over six months, but now that we had, I knew I wanted her, even if as only a friend.

I even tried calling Hanna's house trying to reach her, but her mom mentioned that the girls had gone away for the weekend and they would be back Sunday. By the time Sunday evening rolled around, I couldn't take it anymore. I drove into Rosewood and parked outside the Marin's. I didn't want to go inside, but having never actually met Mrs. Marin, I just sat outside and hoped Emily would be home soon.

After about an hour later, I saw headlights pull into the driveway and turn off. With the lights off I could see that both Emily and Hanna were in the car. They hadn't noticed me yet and were clearly lost in their own world.

I could see Emily turn towards Hanna and lift her hand up to caress her face. Pulling it towards her, she kissed Hanna sweetly. It was an innocent kiss but I felt embarrassed witnessing it. Seeing how Emily looked at Hanna when they pulled away from each other, I knew that I had no chance as anything more than a friend with her. The love in her eyes was what I had always hoped she would have for me, but never did. That love had always reserved for Hanna and I was just a detour in their journey.

Feeling my heart ache in my chest, I knew that I still needed to speak with her. I needed to know if she read my letter and know that while I still have feelings for her and regret what happened, I want her in my life.

As Emily and Hanna approached the front door, bags in hand, Emily spotted me and immediately stiffened. She turned towards Hanna, wanting to gauge the other girl's reaction to my presence.

I didn't know Hanna well but I did know that she usually spoke her mind and was sometimes overly brazen, so I prepared myself for the worst.

"Hey Maya…I'm glad you're back in town." She spoke seemingly sincere before turning back towards Emily and grabbing her bag, "Em, I'm going to head inside. You two should talk."

As Hanna walked inside and shut the door, I looked at Emily who seemed as surprised as I was. She quickly snapped out of it and tentatively walked towards me.

"Hey…" I stammered out, suddenly not knowing what to say.

"Hi Maya. Why don't we go around back and talk?" She responded.

We walked around the house in silence before sitting on the bench just outside the kitchen. Once we sat, I finally spoke.

"So…did you read my letter…" I asked.

"I did." She said simply.

"And…?" I urged her on.

"And I don't really know what to say. I wanted to hear you say those things for a long time, but it's too late now. Hanna and I have finally gotten to a good place and I can't lose that. I love her. I've always loved her." She responded honestly.

"I know. I could see that between you two tonight. And I think a part of me has known all along. You were always holding something back when we were together, I just didn't know what it was at the time…" I stated, trailing off at the end.

"I'm sorry. I want you to know that I wasn't using you or stringing you along. What we had was real. And you helped me learn to accept who I am, and I'll be forever thankful for that." Emily assured me.

"I meant what I said in my letter…that I want you in my life. I know it can't be in the way that I might want it to be, but at least as friends…" I said, hoping she would consider it.

"We can try to be friends. But not friends like we were before we got together. Real friends with real boundaries. I won't do anything that will hurt Hanna." She agreed, but with obvious conditions.

"Of course. I don't want to do anything that would hurt either of you. I do love you Emily, and I want you to be happy, even if it's not with me." I said, conceding to her boundaries.

"Thank you. And I care for you too, which is why I do want to be your friend. But it's getting late and Ashley made dinner, so I should go in. I'll text you later tonight and we can make plans to hang out…?" Emily stated with the last part as more of a question than a statement.

"Sure. Have a good night Em. Give Hanna my best!" I said as we stood and hugged goodbye awkwardly.

Hanna's POV

I was a little annoyed that Maya was the first person we saw when we got back to Rosewood, but I couldn't blame Maya for wanting to be in Emily's life. Emily is an amazing person and an even better friend.

I knew that if that's what Maya wanted, that Emily would agree and they would be friends, because that's just who Emily was. That's not to say though that it wouldn't bother me a little.

After Emily returned inside and we had dinner, I made my feelings known as soon as we were alone. Emily agreed, being the reasonable and caring girlfriend that she is, that affection and prolonged physical contact with Maya was off the table. Given their history, we agreed that she would not interact with Maya, regardless of how good of friends they became, the way that she did with Spencer or Aria. There would be no sleepovers, no hand holding, no cuddling on the couch.

Our talk wasn't long and I think I was as supportive as possible about their wanting to be friends. After we were done, we went back down to the kitchen to finish up some homework that we had obviously neglected all weekend. Throughout the next few hours, Emily's phone buzzed several times. I didn't bother to ask who she was texting with; her tentative smile at each message gave it away that it was Maya.

Bothersome or not, I knew I couldn't let Emily see my annoyance and occasional jealousy, because she would take it to mean that I didn't trust her. I trust fully that Emily would never hurt me or cross any lines with Maya.

Emily's POV

I was very impressed with how mature Hanna was about the whole Maya situation. Last Friday she wasn't even speaking with me because of Maya and now she seemed fine with letting me go out to dinner with her.

Maya and I had made plans to have dinner on Thursday night, knowing that the weekend was already booked because my parents were coming in town for the father-daughter dance.

When Thursday night rolled around, I could sense Hanna's anxiety, even though she was trying hard not to show it. It was cute that she was secretly jealous or nervous about my dinner with Maya, but I knew deep down under those insecurities, she knew I would always be hers.

Maya picked me up a little before 7pm and we headed off to the Rosewood Grille, which was sadly one of the only really good restaurants nearby. The car ride to the restaurant was slightly awkward, neither of us really knowing how to act since it wasn't a date.

Thankfully when we got to the restaurant Maya had started up conversation about a new band that she likes and the conversation started to feel more natural. We ended up staying at the restaurant until closing just catching up. I had forgotten how easy things had always been between us.

When she pulled up into the Marin's driveway, she put the car and park and turned off the engine. The gesture made me nervous that she was planning on walking me to the door, which I definitely didn't want. As cool as Hanna was being with everything, she would not want to see Maya walk me to the door and linger on the front porch like a date would.

Hoping to eliminate the chance for that, I unbuckled and leaned in towards her for a hug. She hugged me back, a little longer than necessary. When I pulled away I felt her hand move from my back to my neck, pulling me in for a kiss.

Our lips only touched for the briefest of moments, but I would be lying if I didn't feel the spark that had always been between us. Panicking, I quickly pulled myself out of her grasp and fled from the car.

Once finally inside the front door, I leaned back against it, letting my emotions wash over me. I felt shame in knowing that I betrayed Hanna's trust; guilt that I felt passion in her kiss; anxiety, unsure of whether I should tell Hanna; and fear that Hanna would never forgive me.

Just as I was peeled myself from the door and began walking somberly up the stairs, my phone beeped.

_Once a cheater, always a cheater. First with steroids and now with a kiss. You never told you coach, are you going to tell Hanna? You'd better or I'll reveal both. Sweet dreams! – A_


	37. Chapter 37

Hanna's POV

When Emily returned from her dinner with Maya I could tell something was wrong. I tried asking her about it, but she just ignored me and grabbed her stuff for a shower quickly, knocking over her backpack in her hurry.

I walked across the room to collect the contents that had spilled out from Emily's backpack when I saw a note. I knew I shouldn't read it, that I should just put it back and forget I never saw it, but I couldn't help myself.

Before even opening it I had a pretty good idea who it was from, but as I read the letter from Maya I could feel my heart sinking in my chest. Maya had confessed her love, and Emily had conveniently left that part out when she told me what they talked about. Emily had said Maya wanted to be friends, but could she really even be a friend if she was still in love with Emily? Did something happen between them tonight? Is that way Emily is acting so weird?

Emily took longer than usual in the shower while my mind ran through a million scenarios. I needed to hear the truth from her before I drove myself crazy. When came back to my room after her shower, something was clearly still on her mind and I couldn't take it anymore.

"Em, what's going on? You haven't said two words since you got home and it's starting to scare me." I asked, needing to break the insufferable silence between us.

She walked over to the bed where I was lying and sat carefully at the corner, just far enough away that we weren't touching.

"I have to tell you something…and you're not going to like it…" Emily said quietly, just loud enough for me to hear.

"Did something happen with you and Maya? Please just tell me…" I pleaded with her to put me out of my misery.

"Yes, something happened…" I held my breath as she continued, "She kissed me…"

"Did you kiss her back?" I asked, still unable to breathe as my heart began beating out of my chest.

"No…maybe…I don't know…" She admitted looking down at the floor in shame.

I needed space between us, I needed to be away from her. I could feel my chest collapsing into my body as I got off the bed, grabbed my phone, and headed towards the door. I felt her reach for me as I tried to retreat, but I pulled my arm from her grasp.

"Hanna! It didn't mean anything. Please? You have to trust me. I didn't want her to kiss me and I won't let her ever do it again!" She yelled after me.

Stopping in the doorway, I turned to look at her, tears that I didn't realized had formed were streaming down my cheeks. "Did you feel something? Are you in love with her?" I cried out, questioning everything between us that I had once felt so confident in.

"I did feel something…" I began as I turned around and walked out the door, barely hearing her final words as I left. "…but it was just a reminder of old feelings. It means nothing now. I love you and only you, please trust in that!"

Emily didn't follow me out of the room, probably knowing I needed time to process. Emily's final words reminded me of Spencer's note and part of me knew not to doubt how Emily felt about me, but it still doesn't change the fact that she let Maya kiss and might have even kissed her back.

Desperately needing to talk to Spencer, I lifted my phone only to realize that I had grabbed Emily's by mistake. Knowing Spencer was a speed-dial in both of our phones, I stepped outside to call her.

"Hey Em, what's up?" Spencer said as she answered.

"It's actually Hanna…I accidently grabbed Emily's phone…" I said trying control the emotions that were pouring out of me.

"Oh…hey Hanna. What's up? Are you okay? You sound a little off…" Spencer said, noticing my cracking voice when I had responded to her.

Just as I was about to respond, Emily's phone beeped with an incoming text.

_I'm sorry about the kiss. The spark between us is still there, but I know you're with Hanna and it wasn't right. I don't blame you for pulling away so quickly and running out of the car. I shouldn't have crossed that line. Please say we're still friends? – Maya_

"Earth to Hanna! Are you there?!" Spencer yelled into the phone, tearing my eyes away from Maya's message.

"Umm…yeah but I gotta go. Sorry!" I responded.

As I hung up I could hear "…but you called me…" from Spencer who was clearly confused.

After ending the call with Spencer, I went back to the text, re-reading it for the tenth time before making a decision. Hitting 'Reply' I sent a message back.

_We need to talk. Meet me at the boathouse in 20 minutes?_

I knew Maya and Emily used to spend time at the boathouse just east of town, so I went back inside, grabbed my keys, and took off. When I got in the car, I noticed a note stuck under the left windshield wiper.

_Maya has a secret that'd kill her if it got out. Just ask Noel Kahn. - A_

During the drive Emily's phone rang. The caller ID said 'Hanna', meaning Emily must have realized I grabbed the wrong phone.

Rather than letting it go to voicemail, knowing I couldn't check it without her password, I answered.

"Hello?" I said a little too forcefully.

"Hanna…where did you go? I heard your mom's car start and pull away, but she's still here."

"I just have to take care of something. I'll be back in an hour or so." I said, keeping my tone short and to the point.

"Hanna…" She often said my name, but this time I could hear her heart breaking with each syllable. "I'm so sorry…."

I could hear her crying on the other end of the phone. Hearing her break down like that instantly melted away my anger. I was mad but I couldn't let her suffer.

"Em…it's okay. I mean it's not, but it be okay…we'll talk when I get home, okay?" I responded.

"Ok…I love you…" She whispered quietly between softening sobs.

"I love you too" I said, meaning each word and determined to not let anything get in the way of us.

Maya's POV

I was halfway home, internally berating myself for being so stupid and kissing Emily. Our chemistry was never able to be denied, but that didn't mean it should be acted upon.

I couldn't take it anymore and pulled out my phone to text her an apology. I wanted her in my life, even if as a friend, and I just ruined it all in one moment of weakness.

A few minutes later, I received a text back. I half expected Emily to never speak to me again, so I was surprised when she asked me to meet her at the boathouse. Both nervous and hopeful, I turned around and headed back towards Rosewood.

I arrived in about 15 minutes. I must have beaten Emily there because mine was the only car. Instead of waiting in my car, I walked around the boathouse to the spot by the lake where we used to meet.

A few minutes later I could hear a car approach on the gravel outside. When I turned, expecting to see Emily, I was both shocked, and a little scared, to see Hanna headed towards me.

"Uh…hey Hanna…" I said stammering over each word.

"We need to talk." She said curtly, staring straight into my eyes.

"Okay…so I'm guessing Emily told you about tonight…let me explain…" I began before she held up her hand, cutting me off.

"Don't bother. Here's how it's going to be. You are never going to see Emily again. If she contacts you, you are not to respond. Do you understand?" She said with a forcefulness in her voice that I had never heard before.

"I don't know if I can do that." I said, trying to sound strong and confident, but failing miserably.

"You can and you will! I swear to God if I ever see you again, I will destroy you!" She said menacingly as she walked closer to me. "True North will be a walk in the park compared to the hell I will create for you if you even so much as think about contacting Emily again. Stay away from us!"

Hanna wasn't much taller than me, but by the time she finished she seemed ten feet tall, towering over me. After staring me down for a minute, she turned to walk away, stopping only for a brief moment for one last threat.

"Oh and Maya…I know about your secret and Noel. Unless you want that information getting out, you'd better stay away…" She trailed off as she walked away, leaving me completely terrified.

How did she know?! No one else knew and it was made very clear to me that no one else can know. If Hanna knows then that means I'm already in trouble. They will come after me and they will never stop until I'm silenced for good.

Knowing I didn't have much time, I ran out of the boathouse to my car. I stopped by my house only for a few minutes to pack a few things. I left my phone, knowing that they could use it to track me down. Just before leaving, I went back to my computer and wrote one final quick email to Emily, to apologize and say goodbye.


	38. Chapter 38

Emily's POV

The next hour was agonizing while I waited for Hanna to return home. I hadn't moved from my spot on her bed when I heard the bedroom door open. I tentatively raised my eyes to hers, terrified of what I might see.

In her eyes I could see all the pain I caused her, but I could see the love she still had for me. As she walked to the bed, she finally spoke.

"Hi…" She said quietly.

"I'm so sorry Hanna…please tell me how to fix this." I begged.

"You won't be seeing her anymore." She said as if it was a fact more than a demand.

"What?" I began to protest before realizing it would hurt her more, "…okay…if that's what you want. I won't see her anymore."

"Lets just go to bed Em. It's been a long night." She said as she began shedding her jeans and top.

She crawled into bed only wearing only her underwear. She laid on her back, staring at the ceiling. She stretched her arm across the bed, motioning for me to lie down on her shoulder. As I laid down, I curled into her, holding her body tightly to mine.

I could tell she wasn't sleeping even though she pretended to be. Her unspoken anxiety scared me, but I knew I didn't have a right to know what was going on in her head right now. I had put those doubts there and I needed to let her sort through them.

An hour or so later she had finally fallen asleep, but I was still awake. I kept replaying the events of the evening, trying to figure out why I let her kiss me and why I didn't just tell Hanna that I didn't kiss her back. It wouldn't have been the whole truth, but it wouldn't have hurt her.

Breaking my rambling thoughts I heard my laptop chirp from across the room. Figuring I wasn't sleeping anyway, I got up to check it. I usually didn't get emails in the middle of the night unless they were from A, so my heart instantly began racing.

When I opened my inbox, I was surprised to see that it wasn't from an anonymous email used by A, it was from Maya. I felt guilty clicking 'Read' knowing Hanna wanted me to keep my distance, but I couldn't help myself.

_Emily,_

_I'm sorry about tonight. I should have never kissed you and I know that. You're with Hanna now and I know she would do anything to protect that. _

_I am writing to say goodbye. I'm going to be leaving town for a while. Maybe even go out to San Francisco like we had always talked about doing. _

_I won't be seeing you anymore and I won't contact you again. Take care of yourself. _

_- Maya_

_P.S. Don't tell my parents. I'll call them when it's safe to talk. _

As I read her goodbye I could feel my heart aching in my chest. I re-read the message several times but no matter how many times I read it, it didn't make sense. Why would she leave town? What does she mean 'when it's safe'? Did someone threaten her? Did she think she was in danger?

Then it occurred to me. I looked over at Hanna sleeping alone in the bed and remembered her words when she got in late last night. She didn't request or even order me not to see Maya. She stated that I would no longer see her.

But how would she have even talked to Maya? My cell phone! Hanna grabbed mine my accident…

I quietly walked back towards the bed and unplugged my phone from the charger. Looking through the messages from tonight I saw that Maya texted me an apology earlier and it looks like I had responded and requested to meet her. Only I didn't text her, Hanna did, pretending to be me.

Anger and feelings of betrayal began coursing through my body. Hanna had threatened Maya! Obviously so much so that Maya was scared and leaving town.

I couldn't picture Hanna doing that. Sure she was blunt and to the point, but never menacing. But then again, Maya was trying to come between us. That hurt Hanna and infuriated her, but enough to scare someone out of town? It just didn't make sense…

I didn't sleep the rest of the night, nor did I return to bed. I couldn't sleep next to and be comforted in her arms knowing Maya was scared and running.

When it was finally light enough outside I grabbed my swimming stuff and headed to school, leaving only a note on the nightstand that I would see her at school.

I wasn't technically allowed to swim at practice yet, but practice wasn't for another hour, so this swim was just for me.

I felt weak and light headed after about a half hour of swimming. I was so out of shape now. I wasn't even racing or pushing myself that hard, but I could feel all of my muscles burning as I swam my final lap.

When I pulled myself up and out of the pool I heard the familiar sound of flip flops on the wet tile floor and knew I was caught.

I looked up, bracing myself for coach to yell at me, but was surprised to find Paige standing there watching me.

Paige's POV

"Hey Em…are you okay? You look a little pale…" I spoke as handed her a towel.

"Yeah…it's just out of shape. I'm technically not cleared to swim yet, so can you forget you saw me here?" she asked, hopeful that I would keep her secret.

"Sure. Just be careful not to push yourself too much." I responded with genuine concern, as she pulled her swim cap off and towel dried her suit.

Emily and I were finally on good terms again. U had been so mean and cruel towards her last year, but I eventually revealed why. I was struggling with my own sexuality and took it out on her. Fair or not, it's what happened and somehow she forgave me for it.

Beyond my wildest expectations we even sort of dated for a few weeks, but I wasn't ready to come out and she refused to go back in the closet, so she ended things. At first things were awkward with us, but now we just had this unspoken connection and we almost friends.

I have been taking big steps to becoming more comfortable with myself and am even planning to tell my parents. I was planning to ask Emily for advice on how to come out soon, but based on the look on her face, I think she may need to talk more right now than I do.

"Hey Em…I'm here for you. You know if you need to talk about anything…" I softly yelled after her as she was almost in the locker room.

She stopped and slowly turned towards me. When she finally faced me, I could see tears beginning to form in her eyes. Without thinking I glided towards her and wrapped her in a tight hug. She was surprised by my actions and our closeness, but I felt her relax into the hug, knowing that it was only a sign of friendship.

After a few moments she pulled away and finally spoke. "Paige, I really screwed up with Hanna…and then I think she did something terrible…"

"Here, sit and tell me what happened." I said as I guided her towards one of the pool benches.

For the next ten minutes she told me everything that was on her mind. She told me about Maya returning and wanting to be friends. Their kiss and how she didn't know if she kissed her back. And then she told me how she thought Hanna threatened her and now Maya was gone.

"…I mean I can't even imagine Hanna threatening her…I have to be reading too much into things, right?" She asked, hoping I would calm her mind.

I took a large sigh, knowing I had to tell Emily something I figured she didn't know and wouldn't want to hear.

"Um…well Hanna can be very protective of you. She would do anything if she thought she needed to keep you safe." I said, hoping it would be enough, but the confused look on Emily's face made it clear I needed to explain.

"Do you remember that meet last year, when things were pretty bad between us, and coach pitted us against each other for the anchor spot?" I asked, knowing she would. When she nodded, I continued. "I was horrible to you back then. The bullying and the near drowning incident…" I stopped, reflecting on how bad things really were.

"We're past that now, Paige. What does this have to do with Hanna?" She asked, wanting to get back to the point.

"Well that night that I rode my bike to your house in the rain to apologize. I didn't end up swimming the next day because I told the coach that I had fallen off my bike…that wasn't exactly the whole truth. When I left your house, I ran into Hanna. She shoved me off my bike. I fell into the street and got pretty banged up. She stared down at me as the rain was beating down around us. Just as she was about to leave she looked back at me and told me that if I ever hurt you again that she'd make my life a living hell." I confessed to Emily quietly, never having told anyone what really happened that night.

I looked at Emily, waiting for a reaction, but she just sat there silently without any expression. It was as if she was a statue of herself, unable to move.

We sat in uncomfortable silence for a few more minutes until we could hear some of the swimmers start to file into the locker room. Knowing she had to leave soon or risk the coach catching her, she stood from the bench and headed into the locker room. She stopped only once to look back at me. Her look was pained but also grateful that I had confided in her.

I wasn't sure what Emily was going to do with that information, but I knew she need to know.

I don't think Hanna would ever actually harm Maya, and she didn't even really hurt me. Sure I had cuts and bruises from the fall, but I had physically harmed Emily, so it was only fair. I didn't know at the time Hanna's true feelings for Hanna, but now that I did, I understood her actions from that night.

Even before I knew, I just chalked it an overly protective friend. Chuckling quietly to myself I knew that I was thankful it was Hanna and not Spencer…that girl kind of scares me.


	39. Chapter 39

Emily's POV

I didn't know what to think of Paige's confession. I had completely forgotten about her accident and certainly never suspected Hanna was behind it. While part of me was furious she would do that, especially when I had told the girls I was handling it, but another part of me knew she was just being protective of me.

Was that all it was with Maya? Just Hanna being protective and not willing to risk losing what we have? Why did Maya have to leave the state though? Why couldn't she have just stayed away from Rosewood, it's not like we would run into each other in another town?

There were too many questions running through my head that I needed to sort out before I saw Hanna. I avoided any alone time with her throughout the day, making sure to engage Spencer or Aria in random conversation or creating excuses to stay after classes to talk about assignments with teachers.

I figured Hanna knew I was avoiding her, but not why. She didn't press me or push me to spend time with her, probably avoiding her in her own right because of the kiss. Spencer and Aria both suspecting something was going on, but neither of us gave them much detail, so they eventually backed off.

By the end of the day, Hanna had apparently had enough of the avoiding, because she cornered me at my locker.

"Hey Em…are you okay? You've been kind of weird all day." She asked, concerned and not knowing why I would be upset with her rather than the other way around.

"I'm fine. It's just been a rough week, that's all." I responded in a half truth.

"Hey…we're going to be okay…no more drama, okay?" She asked playfully.

"Speaking of drama, I got a goodbye email from Maya last night…she basically said she was running away and wouldn't be back to Rosewood, let alone Pennsylvania." I said, hoping to bait Hanna into confessing.

"I'm not surprised. Apparently she and Noel have some big secret that must have some pretty big consequences attached to it…" Hanna said as if I should know what she was talking about.

"Huh? What secret?" I asked, suddenly realizing I had no idea what really happened last night.

"Look Em. I met with Maya last night and told her to stay away from you. I didn't want her trying to get between us." She said as I glared back at her. "When I was on my way to meet her, I got a message from A about some secret that would hurt Maya if it got out. I don't know what it is, but I made mention to it when I saw her and she totally freaked."

"Hanna! Why would you do that?" I practically shouted at her even though she was standing less than a foot away.

"I know. I didn't know it would be such a big deal. I just wanted to scare her away from you and Rosewood, not send her fleeing across the country. I know I should have told you last night, but I was drained and scared of losing you that I just couldn't." Hanna confessed, her voice breaking as she tried to control her emotions.

"Shh…it's okay." I said as I pulled her into my embrace. "I'm mad that you didn't tell me and that you threatened her, but I know you did what you thought you had to protect me…us…this…" I said as I slid my hand between us and put it on her heart.

I was still angry, but I had to forgive her. She loved me so much that she would do anything to save us. It wasn't okay, but what's done is done. I realized that was probably the reason Paige had never told me the bike story before. She knew I would forgive Hanna so why open old wounds for no reason.

Hanna wasn't perfect, but neither was I. I loved her strengths as well as her weaknesses and faults, just as she did with mine.

As I looked down at her, still in my arms, I had never loved her more despite all that had happened. She looked up at me with vulnerable eyes, pleading for my love. Knowing I would never be able to deny her, I leaned down and captured her lips gently.

The kiss was filled with passion, fueled by anger, forgiveness, and love. As she deepened the kiss, it was as if the rest of the world fell away. We were no longer in the school hallway or even on this earth.

I kept my hand on her heart, feeling it beating wildly in her chest from arousal and love. I broke away for a second to catch my breath, as I heard a loud gasp from down the hallway.

I looked up and saw my mother, standing about 20 feet away, staring at us with her hand covering her mouth.

Hanna sensed my panic and turned herself, still in my arms, towards where I was now looking. We both watched as my father came around the corner behind my mother and took in the scene before him.

Not knowing what to do, I released Hanna from my grasp and took a step towards them. My mother took a step backwards, keeping the distance between us.

"Mom…I can explain…" I began, but she ran off, not letting me continue. "Dad…" I begged, hoping he would understand.

He quickly walked towards where Hanna and I were standing and pulled me into his arms.

"Shh…Emmy it's going to be okay…" He said as he loosened one of his arms around me to pull Hanna into our embrace, as a silent gesture of his approval.

Pam's POV

It felt like it had been months since I had seen Emily so I decided to join Wayne on his trip back to Rosewood for the Father-Daughter dance. Plus, I figured Emily would need some extra support when Wayne told her about his re-assignment.

When we got into Rosewood, I wanted to surprise Emily right away, so we headed straight for her school. Wayne didn't seem to think it was a good idea and wanted to call her from the hotel, as they had discussed, but I couldn't wait.

When we pulled up to the school I practically burst out of the car, not bothering to wait for my husband and headed straight towards Emily's locker. The school bell had just run and most of the kids were beginning to file out of the building. Emily and the girls usually lingered for a few minutes in the hallways, discussing their days, before dispersing to their myriad of sports and activities.

When I got to the hallway of Emily's locker, I could barely see her over the back of Hanna's head. Hanna had on larger heels than usual, so she was practically at eye-level with Emily, but I could still tell it was my daughter behind her.

As I approached quietly, I began to get a better angle and stopped dead in my tracks. Emily was clinging to Hanna, kissing her openly as if she didn't care who saw. I felt frozen in place, shocked with betrayal.

Hanna was supposed to be Emily's friend. They were living under the same room for Christ's sake. How could Ashley have not mentioned this? It couldn't be possible that she didn't know based on their very public and brazen display of affection for each other.

When I saw Emily pull away from Hanna and gaze down at her lovingly, I couldn't stop the gasp of disapproval from coming out of my mouth. I instantly clamped my hand over my mouth, but Emily must have heard me. Her head perked up and she saw me, staring at them, completely aghast.

She released her hold on Hanna and stepped towards me, but I felt myself stepping back from her. It was as if I didn't even know my own daughter. How could she keep this from me? Furthermore, how could Hanna do this to Emily? After all she's been through? Hanna was straight and now she was playing with Emily, as if she were a toy?

Completely overwhelmed, I was only vaguely aware of Wayne approaching behind me or Emily beginning to speak. I couldn't stand even the sight of her in this moment, so I fled from the hallway, practically tripping down the school's steps on my way back to the parking lot.

I waited for a few brief moments at the bottom of the stairs, hoping Wayne would follow me, but knowing deep down that he wouldn't. He would stay and hear Emily out, probably even approve of whatever was going on between her and Hanna, because that's the kind of parent he was.

I wish that I could have his understanding and compassion, but it's different between a mother and daughter. When she came out to me, I feel like I failed in raising her, that something I did ruined her. And as much as I had made strides in accepting who she is, part of me always hoped that it was a phase and that these girls, Maya and Samara, would come and go from her life.

But Hanna was an integral part of her life. If Hanna wasn't playing games and did care for Emily that way, that would be it. The love that they've shared as friends is enough to support them throughout a lifetime, adding passion and romantic love will only keep them stronger.

As I came upon this realization, I was pulled from my own thoughts by a familiar voice.

"Mrs. Fields? OMG hi…it's so good to see you!" Spencer proclaimed as she leaned in to hug me, Aria in following behind her.

I hugged them both and smiled hello. I knew I shouldn't put them on the spot, but I couldn't help it. They were Emily's friends and whether they wanted to or not, I needed to make them tell me the truth.

"How long has it been going on?" I asked them sternly. They both looked at each other, feigning ignorance, until I pushed on further. "Emily and Hanna. I saw them. How long?"

"Umm…for a little while now. I guess since Emily was in the hospital." Aria finally said, earning her a nasty look from Spencer.

"I see." I said, really not knowing what else to say. Emily had kept this from me for weeks and had somehow convinced Ashley to keep it from me as well, even though I put my daughter in her care.

Seeing my growing anger, Spencer chimed in, "Emily wanted to tell you. She just didn't know if you would approve. Hanna and her have been through so much and you know how devastated she was when it didn't work out between them before. She probably just didn't think you would trust Hanna…" she stopped realizing by the expression on my face that she had said too much.

"Before?" I asked, making it clear that I didn't know what she was referring to but that I wasn't letting them leave without telling me.

"Um…yeah… Remember right after Ali disappeared when Hanna was the only one who could really get through to Emily?" I nodded my head yes, urging Aria on, "And then they went away for Emily's birthday. Something happened between them that weekend but it was cut short. Afterwards Hanna couldn't deal with her feelings and cut Emily out of her life to keep her distance. As much as they both tried to bury it, those feelings were still there and they are now both in a better place to accept them and finally be together." Aria finished.

"It's a good thing. They make each other really happy." Spencer added.

My mind was racing. It made sense now why things were so hard for Emily that year and why Hanna had just stopped coming around or calling. I didn't want to see it then. I was too oblivious to see it then; maybe I still was to have not seen this coming.

After thanking the girls for telling me the truth, I hurried back up the stairs and into the hallway where they still remained. Wayne was holding Emily and she was sobbing into his chest. He had one arm halfway around Hanna, who was also trying to comfort Emily.

My heart ached knowing that I was now the cause of my daughter's pain. I didn't know what to say to make it better; I didn't know how to fix what my walking away destroyed. Instead of saying anything, I simply walked over to them, pulled Emily's arm away from her father's back, and held her hand in mind.

I felt her turn and look at me. I could see the apology in her red puffy eyes. I knew she was sorry for not telling me, but given my reaction today, I can't really blame her for being afraid.

We stood there for a few more minutes before finally pulling away from each other and collecting our things. We knew we all had a lot to talk about, but now wasn't the time. Emily and Hanna collected their things and we walked to the parking lot in silence, all heading back to the Marin's.


	40. Chapter 40

Ashley's POV

I had left work early to get home to get things ready for dinner. I had invited the Fields over since they were coming in tonight and I was hoping Emily would take this opportunity to tell her parents about their relationship.

I was just leaving the grocery store when I got a text from Hanna.

_Emily's parents got in early and came to school to surprise Emily. They saw us. Her mom freaked but seems kind of okay now but hasn't actually said anything. We are all heading to the house…hopefully you're there…didn't want you blindsided if Mrs. Fields is mad. _

Crap! I knew that even if Pam learned to be okay with them dating, she probably wouldn't forgive me for keeping it from her. I didn't technically lie but I certainly wasn't forthcoming with the information.

We moms had a pact that we would take care of each other's daughters and advise each other of any big issues. This probably qualified as a big issue but would have to spin it as one of those things we keep to ourselves so the girls trust us as confidential sources.

I raced home hoping to beat them there, but we all pulled into the driveway within a few minutes of each other, Emily and Hanna beating us all.

I half expected Pam to storm over and beat me with her purse based on the look she shot me when we got into the house, but she remained pleasant. Despite her frequent death glares we kept up meaningless small talk in the kitchen while Wayne and the girls hung out in the living room. He was watching some basketball game and they worked silently on their homework.

About a half hour into the preparation, I couldn't take it anymore. I leaned over to Pam who was skillfully cutting some vegetables for the salad, and whispered quiet enough so no one else could hear us.

"Pam, I'm really sorry that I didn't tell you. I just didn't think it was my place. Emily needed to be the one to tell you herself…" I stopped speaking as quickly as I started, regretting have chosen a time when Pam was wielding a large knife to break the tension.

She didn't respond at first, she only sighed loudly. Finally she responded, "I know. Emily should have told me, but I understand why she hadn't yet. She knew I'd react how I did earlier today and I did nothing but prove her right. I still would have appreciated at least a heads up so I could have handled myself better. Now I'm back to being the horrible unaccepting mother..."

"She doesn't see you that way. You've come so far since she first came out. But I know with it being Hanna, this probably threw you for a loop." I responded, being careful not to overstep or make assumptions as to why she had such an issue with our daughters dating.

"How do you feel about it? Honestly."

"I'm happy about it. Emily is a great girl and a really good influence on Hanna. They were always so close and I should have seen the signs before when they fell out of touch, but I was pretty wrapped up in my own love life then to notice hers. But now they both seem really happy and completely in love with each other. At the end of the day that's all I ever wanted for Hanna, regardless of what package it comes in." I answered honestly.

"I guess you're right. Part of me had always hoped this would be just a phase for her, like experimenting because she was young and curious. But seeing her look at Hanna the way she did today, it made me realize that this is who she really is and it isn't going to go away. Those two have always been so in sync and caring towards each other. Hanna found a way to get through to Emily when no one else could and it was like she was the only one Emily truly needed. They have one of those bonds that can never really be broken no matter what they go through. I'm happy that Emily has that, but it terrifies me at the same time. This won't be an easy life for her..." Pam confessed, not noticing that Emily had walked into the kitchen behind her and was listening silently.

"It might not be easy, but nothing worth it ever is." Emily said simply as she walked over the fridge to pour herself another glass of water.

Pam was startled at Emily's statement. Partially because she hadn't realized Emily had heard her and also because it was true. Before she was able to respond, Emily filled her glass and walked back towards her mother.

"Mom, I love her and it's not a phase. I will love her for the rest of my life." Emily said trying to emphasize each word to show how much she meant it.

"And I love her too, and always will. We can still have the life you always wanted for her. We will go to college, get married one day, buy a house, and even start a family." Hanna chimed in from behind Emily.

At Hanna's admission, Emily turned to look at her lovingly. Based on Emily's face they hadn't discussed much about the future yet, but she was definitely pleased with Hanna's plans for them.

Pam must have noticed Emily's expression of love and adoration as well, because I could see tears welling up in her eyes. We all waited with bated breath for her to finally speak, but she didn't. Instead she pulled Emily into a tight hug and grabbed Hanna's hand, squeezing it tightly.

Wayne's POV

I looked on from the living room at the women in my life, working through their issues. Emily and Pam needed to talk through things and they didn't need me there to do so. I could barely make out the conversation, but I knew things were looking up when I saw Pam hugging Emily and reaching out for Hanna.

She may not have been ready to say the words, but I knew she had forgiven Emily for hiding the relationship and accepted them as a couple.

I gave them a few more minutes before I got up and tried to lighten the mood.

"Ashley, it smells amazing in here. Is there anything I can help with?" I said as my wife and daughter broke apart and smiled broadly at me.

"No Wayne, I'm actually just about to pull dinner out of the oven. Why don't you open another bottle of wine and we'll start taking food into the dining room?" She suggested as she finished her first, and probably much needed, glass of wine.

The conversation was light for the rest of the night. The girls didn't shy away from topics that involved them as a couple, but we didn't delve into anything further. After another bottle of wine and too much lasagna, we all cleared the table together even though Ashley insisted we let her do it.

Pam and the girls helped her put the dishes in the dishwasher as I caught the last few minutes of Sports Center. Apparently a man wasn't needed in the Marin kitchen, or so they told me jokingly.

After everything was cleaned up, Pam and I headed back to the hotel, knowing that we both needed rest before the big day tomorrow.

I was nervous, knowing that I needed to tell Emily about my deployment but unsure of how to broach the topic. Thankfully since Pam and Ashley had made up, they had made plans to go to the spa tomorrow, giving me ample time with Emily.

I picked Emily up when I dropped Pam off at the Marin's in the morning. I told her we could do anything she wanted, but I could tell something was on her mind. I drove her to a special spot in the park that I used to take her as a kid, hoping she would be able to open up to me there.

We sat for almost an hour, just enjoying each other's company and watching people in the park from an unfrequented bench at the top of an overlooking hill.

"Emmy, what's wrong? I can tell something is on your mind…" I asked, hoping I could fix whatever plagued her.

"I'm sorry…I'm trying not to think about it." She responded.

"Think about what?" I pushed.

"Maya." Emily said quietly.

"Maya?" I asked a little too confused after everything with Hanna.

"Yeah…it's a long story, but she came back to Rosewood and we tried being friends, but she kissed me. Hanna kind of freaked out and scared her off. I got an email from her a few days ago that she was basically running away. I'm worried about her but I can't really talk to Hanna about it because she think it means more than it does…" she confessed, clearly feeling guilty.

"Emmy, there is nothing wrong with being concerned about a friend. Do you have any idea where she would have gone?" I asked, trying to ease her mind.

"She mentioned having some friends in San Francisco and wanting to visit them when we had dinner last week. Maybe she went there? I don't know…" She responded, but was clearly unsure.

Knowing that someone her age trying to run away from home probably wouldn't think or have means to fly somewhere else, I grabbed Emily's hand and led her to the car. We drove to the bus station, hoping to find a few clues.

After bonding with a veteran who worked there, we found out that she had bought a ticket for San Francisco. Unfortunately he couldn't tell us if she boarded the bus, but she hadn't approached anyone for a refund, so he assumed she probably left.

While Emily seemed still distracted, probably sad that she didn't get to say goodbye once again, I could tell her mind was more at ease, at least having an idea where Maya was.

Emily was a very caring girl and always worried about the people in her life. It was the main reason it's always been so hard telling her about my job. Being in the Army is in my blood and I love what I do, but I hate that it frequently takes me away from the people I love and makes them worry about me while I'm gone.

Knowing I didn't have much more time with her, I decided to wait to tell her, not wanting to ruin the rest of the night. I dropped her back off at the Marin's before going to the hotel to get ready.

When I picked her back up, she looked beautiful. I could hardly believe how grown up she looked. I can still remember taking her to her first swim lesson and teaching her to ride a bike. Now she was a strong woman with a bright future in front of her with someone she loved dearly. I could feel my heart swelling with pride as I helped her into the car and drove to the school.


	41. Chapter 41

Emily's POV

I think I was the only one of us girls actually excited about the Father-Daughter dance. I hadn't seen my dad in a long time before this week and was excited to spend the whole night with him. Hanna's dad was still a little mad at her about ruining the wedding, plus he was out of town for work, so he couldn't even make it if he wanted to. There was definitely something going on between Spencer and her dad, but she hadn't wanted to talk to us about it yet and we were giving her space. Then there was Aria. I was surprised she even came with her dad given the drama between them over Ezra, but I guess she was trying to make things civil again.

Things were great between my dad and me though. We danced and joked around all night. I felt a few times that he had something on his mind, but always changed the subject before talking about it. Finally towards the end of the night, we had stepped outside to get some air and I could tell his mood was changing.

At first I was worried that he was upset we had spent so much of the day looking for Maya rather than spending time together, but he assured me that wasn't it. It was actually much worse. As he began explaining, I felt my world crashing in around me. He was deploying in a week for Afghanistan. I wouldn't see him for at least six months and he was going to be in active duty.

I know that my father is a good soldier but every time he leaves I feel like it's the last time I'm ever going to see him. I know I'm supposed to be strong for him and proud, but I can't stop the tears beginning to stream down my face.

Wayne's POV

Saying goodbye to Emily never got easier, no matter how many times I had to do it. She always tried to be so strong but I knew how much it hurt her every time I left. It was hard on both her and Pam when I was gone for long periods of time. When Pam moved to Texas it helped, but it still wasn't the same without Emily. Now I'm leaving and can't be with either of them.

The only bright spot was the Pam agreed to move off the base and back to Rosewood to be with Emily. As tough as Emily usually pretended to be, I knew she needed her mother's reassurance that I would be alright, even if Pam didn't always believe it herself.

Given everything that Emily had been through emotionally in the last few days, I wasn't surprised that she couldn't hold it together. We stood in the empty courtyard of the school as she began sobbing quietly in arms. There was nothing I could do or say that would make it hurt less, so I just held her as she broke down.

When she finally calmed down, neither of us were much in the mood to go back into the dance, so we headed back to Marin's. Pam was there with Ashley, letting her know the plans for moving back and thanking her for everything she had done to help Emily over the last month or so.

Pam and I were scheduled on the last flight out, but she must have known how hard this would be on Emily, because she had called and changed our flight for early morning. We didn't have much time before I deployed, but she knew that I wouldn't be able to tell Emily and then just walk away right afterwards.

We spent the rest of the night at the Marin's, sitting on the back porch, joking and laughing with each other. The underlying mood was still somber, but we all knew we had to make the most of the situation and enjoy each other in the short time we had left.

Emily tried to stay strong, but Hanna noticed her emotions getting the best of her a few times, and would softly rub her back or caress her hand. In that moment, looking around the table, I knew that Ashley and Hanna were just as much my family now as my daughter and wife. The way Hanna cared for Emily and the love in her eyes was the kind that doesn't ever end. It's the kind that will last through any hardship or obstacle that may come their way.

I could feel my heart swell with knowing that even if something happened to me, my family would be fine, all four of them had each other.

Hanna's POV

I could tell how upset Emily was, but she was putting on a brave face not wanting to ruin the last few hours with her dad. When it started to get late, they announced they needed to go back to the hotel since they had an early flight.

My mother and I both stood to clear the glasses from the table and give Emily a few minutes of alone time with her family. When they came back inside after a teary goodbye, I was surprised when Mr. Fields came up to my mother and I and pulled us both in for a big hug.

"Take care of my girls. No matter happens, okay?" He whispered quietly so that only we could hear.

We both looked at him and nodded silently agreeing and acknowledging that we were all one family now and needed to look out for each other as such.

When they left, Emily sat on the stairs and began sobbing. I was about to close the door and go comfort her when I saw a police car pulling into the driveway. I had several unfortunate run-ins with Rosewood PD in the past, so my heart immediately started racing.

I saw Officer Barry get out and walk towards the door but was completely frozen in place. He smiled and apologized for coming so late, but then completely surprised me when he asked for Emily.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see her stand up from the stairs and join me in the doorway. She gave me a quick squeeze on the shoulder letting me know that it was okay and that I could go back in the house.

She stepped out the house to talk with Barry and closed the door behind her. The only thing I could overhear was "Maya St. Germain" and my heart started beating in double time again.

I knew my threat was the reason she was gone and while part of m was happy she was out of our lives, part of me felt guilty about how I handled the situation. I knew Emily was still mad about it, even if she had forgiven my intentions.

My mind began racing through a million scenarios of what they could be talking about. They weren't gone long but I couldn't take just standing there any longer so I went upstairs to bed. When Emily finally came up a little later, she crawled into bed with me right away.

I was thankful I didn't have to pry the details out of her; she just started in right away. Apparently Maya had left her parents a note and packed a bag. Emily confessed that she told Barry she didn't know anything about it and hadn't heard from her at all.

I immediately felt guilty knowing that while she wanted to find Maya revealing my threat about the Noel Kahn secret might help, she wanted to protect me at all costs. I don't know how I got so lucky. I didn't deserve how amazing she was to me.

Emily's POV

After Barry left, I felt completely emotionally drained. I didn't even really want to tell Hanna about my conversation with him but knew I had to.

I told her how I didn't give him really any information nor did I know anything. I could tell she was relieved I hadn't said anything about Maya's secret and it most likely being the reason she ran away. I was pretty sure Hanna thought I didn't say anything to Barry to protect her.

And that may have been part of it, but part of it was also to protect Maya. If Noel was involved, it could have something to do with Jenna or with A and I wanted Maya as far away from that as possible. The four of us might never escape A but none of us wanted collateral damage from the people that happen to be in our lives.

As much as I wanted Maya to be found and return back to Pennsylvania, I knew it was probably safer for her to be gone. I would miss her though and I wouldn't really be able to tell anyone. I normally confide everything in Hanna, but she would take my missing Maya as a betrayal to her or our relationship.

It was just something I was going to have to suffer in silence and pray that it would all work out in the end. But as much as I tried to convince myself that it would be, there was a sick feeling deep in my stomach that feared that something terrible had happened, I just didn't know what.

Not wanting to think about it any longer, I turned my back towards Hanna, wrapped her arm around my waist, and leaned back to kiss her softly. All I wanted was to sleep and try to forget about how my life was falling apart around me. Hanna was the only one who could make me feel safe, and tonight I just needed to be in her arms.


	42. Chapter 42

Hanna's POV

The rest of the weekend and the following week at school was pretty uneventful, which secretly scared us all more than when we were smack in the middle of A's drama. Anytime there was a lull in A's torment, it usually meant that he/she/they were planning something big.

While we were all holding our breath waiting for the other shoe to drop, the pause did allow Emily and I some time to get back to normal. Well, I guess not exactly normal. Emily was desperately trying to avoid dealing with her dad's deployment and Maya's disappearance by throwing herself at me every chance she got. Not that I was complaining, but it was exhausting at times.

She would give me looks during class or send me dirty texts that made me squirm in my seat. By the time the bell rang I would be completely ready for her to drag me off to the bathroom, locker room, or even the back seat of her car, in broad daylight, to have her way with me. Both of our grades were suffering because of it, but neither of us really cared.

By Friday afternoon, I could tell she was excited to get home. My mom was going away for the weekend and her mom wasn't moving back until next week, so we had a full 48 hours to ourselves. She even made up a lame excuse to Spencer and Aria about having to study all weekend so that they wouldn't bother us. I'm pretty sure they both knew it was a lie based on the smirks on their faces. Spencer even jokingly offered to come over and tutor us. Emily declined rather forcefully, causing Spencer and Aria to both burst out in laughter and give me a knowing, and possibly jealous, look.

Emily raced home on Friday once class was over, breaking several traffic laws along the way. When we pulled in the driveway she barely put the car in park before jumping out and dragging me behind her. As soon as we were inside, she slammed me up against the wall and kissed me forcefully.

I tried to slow down her pace, knowing we had all weekend to be together, but she held me harder against the door and slammed her knee up between my legs. She was sending a clear message that she was the one in control and that I was hers to do with what she wished. While part of me totally loved this hot dominant side of Emily, another part of me was worried.

I tried talking with her about it but she always changed the subject or turned things sexual so she didn't have to open up. It was obvious she was feeling her life was out of balance and she needed me to be the one thing she could control. Who was I do deny her that, especially when the sex was so incredible?

Emily's POV

I could tell Hanna had something on her mind, but I didn't care. She was always wanting to talk about feelings and emotions, which I wanted no part of. Usually I was able to get out of it and distract her enough to forget.

I had Hanna pressed firmly against the front door with her arms pinned above her head. I could feel her try to slow the pace of our kisses down, so I forcefully pushed my tongue into her mouth and moved my knee between her legs. I felt her moan into my mouth and knew I had won. I always won.

After a few more minutes of rough foreplay, I released my grip on her wrists and dragged her upstairs. She seemed surprised when I passed her bedroom door and pulled her into the spare room that was technically my room, although I never actually slept there.

Having the extra bedroom was actually pretty convenient because I was able to set up a few things, in anticipation for our parent-free weekend, without Hanna noticing. I turned to look at her as she took the room in and I saw her mouth fall open when she noticed the restraints tied to the posts of the bed.

Without bothering to ask if it was okay, knowing she would tell me if I ever actually went too far, I threw her on the bed and immediately climbed on top of her. As I quickly removed her clothes, she scooted up, underneath me, towards the top of the bed and stretched herself out on her back. She knew what I needed and silently allowed me to slip the restraints over her wrists and ankles.

Once secure, I could feel her pulling at the straps, testing their strength and the limited motion they allowed. I gave her a brief moment to become comfortable as I undressed myself. Once I was also naked, I lowered myself down on her body before roughly kissing at her mouth. She granted me entrance immediately and groaned at the contact of my body and lips on hers.

My lips moved quickly and sharply across her mouth, neck, and chest. I covered every inch but never lingered in one spot for longer than a second. I could feel her body heating up beneath me. Her moans were loud and frustrated, desperately begging for more contact and her eventual release.

I moved further down her body and I could feel her quiver in anticipation of my touch. I teasingly nipped at her thighs and lower abdomen before finally giving into her requests. At the first touch of my tongue to her, she bucked her hips as hard as she could with the restraints limiting her range of motion. As I began to lick and suck between her legs, her moaning became more frantic and I could feel the bed moving back and forth as she tugged her wrists and ankles, wanting to be freed. I held her hips firmly to the mattress, not allowing her even the slightest bit of added friction from her movements.

Swiftly I shoved two fingers deep within her as I sucked furiously at her throbbing bundle of nerves. Within seconds I could feel her walls begin to tighten around my fingers. Just as she was moments away from release, I quickly removed my fingers and mouth from her. I smirked as I saw her head shoot up and give me a murderous glare.

"What the fuck Em?!" She growled loudly.

"Shh…patience my love. Try to relax." I said in a patronizing tone as I softly grazed her clit with the tip of my finger causing her to violently twitch.

Knowing she couldn't take much more, I stood from the bed and released her ankle restraints. She watched me as I walked up towards the head of the bed, expecting me to remove the straps at her wrists, but watched in shock as I opened the nightstand and removed a dark scarf instead. I tied the scarf around her eyes but left her wrists fastened to the bed.

Once I was confident she could not see, I dug deeper into the nightstand and removed a new toy I had been wanting to try. We didn't use toys often, but had discussed a few that we eventually wanted to try out. Hanna had no idea though that I had gone to the store and picked one out by myself. We hadn't even discussed this specifically, mostly because I had been too embarrassed at the time to tell her I wanted to try it.

Some part of me was afraid she would think my wanting to wear a strap-on was me somehow wanting to be a man, but another part of me knew she would love me taking her that way. The way _he_ did, only so much better. Thinking of Caleb for only the briefest of seconds, I felt a pang of jealousy in the pit of my stomach, which only urged me on further.

I quickly fastened the straps around my waist, after practicing several times in advance, not wanting to take too long in the heat of the moment. Once the strap-on was secure, I quickly applied some lube to the toy to help her take it better. It wasn't overly large, but it had still been a while for Hanna since she's had anything other than my fingers inside her.

As fun as it is to tie her up, tease her, and bite her, I wouldn't ever want to actually hurt her. I knew she loved the roughness as much as I did, but I didn't want to cross that line of actual pain. Once I felt the toy was thoroughly lubricated, I climbed back on the bed and hovered over her. I didn't want to lay down on top of her, for fear she would feel the harness, or the toy, and know what to expect.

I kissed her quickly on the mouth before lowering myself on my knees between her spread legs. I leaned down and licked her softly, making sure she was still wet enough. Having teased her so much earlier, she was practically dripping in anticipation, even though she had no idea what I had in store for her.

When I pulled my mouth from her, she groaned again, become even more frustrated with my denial of her release. I took this as a sign that she was clearly ready for me. I grabbed hold of her hip with one hand and steadied the shaft with another. In one swift motion, I pulled her towards me while thrusting straight forward, directly into her.


	43. Chapter 43

Emily's POV

In one swift motion, I pulled her towards me while thrusting straight forward, directly into her.

A garbled moan escaped her lips as my penetration both surprised and pleased her. I stayed still inside of her briefly, letting her get used to the size before I began rolling my hips slightly. Within seconds her hips were matching my rhythm and begging for more. I thrusted into her harder and faster until the entire experience became a blur of movement and sounds. Her legs wrapped around my waist, forcing me impossibly deeper inside her.

I was only vaguely aware that one of her hands, which she somehow had managed to wiggle free from the restraints, was now scratching down my back with each motion. The sensation of her nails on my skin only drove me harder into her.

I could feel her getting close to release as her body began to frantically tremble beneath me. I watched in awe as she broke free from her other restraint, the force ripping the leather strap in two. Her free hand immediately went to the blindfold, pulling it from her eyes. I looked down into her dark blue hooded eyes, and froze in place.

In that moment I felt each ounce of love she had for me and saw concern and pain buried beneath it. I hadn't hurt her physically, but I was hurting her emotionally, whether she voiced it or not. In that moment, I began to realize how selfish I had been for the last week and while Hanna tried to get me to talk about it, she never forced me. She knew I would talk in my own time and that she just needed to be there for me for whatever I needed in the meantime.

When I stopped moving, I could see Hanna open her mouth to protest, but she never spoke. She simply locked eyes with me, trying to convey everything she had been feeling and everything she wanted me to know, all in one look. We stayed there, with me still buried deep inside of her, staring into each other's souls.

Neither of us moved for what seemed like forever, until Hanna tentatively raised her hand and wiped a tear from my eye that I hadn't even realized was there.

Hanna's POV

When Emily blindfolded me, I was both scared and excited. We had never done anything like this and while it was hard to give up this much control, I trusted her. I knew she needed this for whatever reason and I wasn't going to deny her the right to deal with, or even just ignore, the monsters in her own head.

When she entered me, it took me by complete surprise. She stilled herself, waiting for my reaction and acceptance of this new position. I had secretly been wanting to try this, but never had the guts to tell her. I was afraid she would think I was trying to make her more like Caleb, but for me it wasn't about that. It was about being able to be with her in that intimate way.

Once she began moving, however, there was little that was intimate about it. The feeling of her thrusting into me was amazing and brought out an animalistic side of both of us. With my eyes blindfolded and my hands restrained, I was all too aware of the sounds of our moaning, the smell of our arousal, and the feel of her body on and in mine.

Eventually I was able to break free from the restraints and pull her body even closer to mine, tearing at her skin with each forceful thrust. When I broke my other arm free, I pulled off the blindfold, desperately wanting to see everything I was feeling. When our eyes locked though, she stopped moving. I had been so close to release that the lack of movement was almost painful. I opened my mouth to protest, but the look in her eyes silenced me.

She looked down at me lovingly, but I could also see shame and regret in her eyes. I stared back at her, trying to let her know that I understood why she was acting this way and that I loved her. That I would be there for whatever she needed and when she eventually wanted to talk, I'd be there for her.

We stayed there, completely still, for several minutes. I saw a range of emotions pass over her face, almost as if I could see her thoughts written above her head. She was raw, open, and completely vulnerable for the first time in weeks. Tears began forming in her eyes and a single tear began to fall as I lifted my hand to carefully wipe it away.

She seemed surprised by my touch at first, but then leaned into it as I caressed the side of her face softly. I traced her cheeks and around her lips gently as she stared down at me. Finally after a deep exhale of emotions, she leaned down and captured my lips in a slow and gentle kiss.

The kiss easily became passionate, but never became forceful or hurried. Instead of grabbing and tearing at each other the way that we had only minutes before, we now caressed and lovingly stroked each other's bodies.

I felt Emily's hand capture mine as she pulled it slightly above my head. She didn't hold my wrist to gain control, she intertwined our fingers intimately as she slowly began moving her hips against mine.

Each roll of her hips was sensual and every bit as pleasurable, if not more so, than before. We soon found a slow rhythm that left us breathless, panting between soft and loving kisses. Our bodies became one as we both neared our releases.

Just before my climax, Emily pulled away from our kiss. I feared she was going to stop again and I wasn't sure how much more my body could handle, but she didn't. She kept moving and I could feel her body trembling above me. As our eyes met I could see tears forming in hers again. I moved my free hand from her back up to her cheek, using my thumb to wipe at her eyes. Once again she leaned her head into my touch and kissed the palm of my hand softly.

"I love you so much Hanna…I'm so sorry…" She said quietly as sobs threatened to break through her body.

"It's okay baby…I love you…" I responded, trying to reassure her that I understood and provide any comfort she needed.

It must have been enough because I began to feel her find release. She clung to me and buried herself even further inside me, spurring on my own release moments later. Neither of moved or spoke for several minutes afterwards. She remained on top of me and still inside of me with her face buried in my neck and her hand still clutching at mine. I gave her several squeezes, hoping to reassure her, but I could feel her tears falling against my shoulder. I rubbed her back gently, trying to soothe her.

Eventually she calmed down enough for me to turn us over and remove her from inside me. Once I was able to get her to lie on her back, I unbuckled the harness and slid it down her legs. As I climbed back up the bed to her, I brought the oversized comforter with me and draped it over us. She immediately curled her body into mine as I lowered myself down next to her.

It was only the middle of the afternoon but we were both exhausted physically and emotionally. We held each other tightly and drifted into a deep sleep, only stirring enough, every once in a while, to hold each other more closely or whisper loving words to each other.

Emily's POV

When I woke, it was dark outside and I wasn't sure where I was at first since we always slept in Hanna's bed. Looking around the room I saw our discarded clothes, the straps still tied to the bedposts, and Hanna sleeping soundly beneath me.

Watching her sleep so peacefully made my heart ache. She had been so patient with me without ever closing off or losing her vulnerability. I could have hurt her, emotionally or physically, and she would have let me. She would have followed me to the edge of the earth if I would have led her there. She loved me, more completely and more fully than I ever imagined possible, and I immediately felt ashamed.

I didn't trust enough in that love to open up to her. I had blamed her for Maya leaving, which may have been her fault, but if Maya was gone, at least it meant she was probably safer than here in Rosewood. I even somehow blamed her for my dad leaving. The last night he was here he told her to take care of "his girls", as if her love gave him permission to leave my mom behind. Deep down I knew that didn't make sense, but I resented her in that moment and didn't allow myself to experience that love with her again until tonight.

She never gave up on me though and she eventually broke me down. I fell apart tonight in her arms. She knew I needed to and made sure I felt safe enough to do so. I knew the moment I looked into her eyes that she would have my heart forever. It no longer mattered who came and went from our lives, what A threw at us next, if we ever really found out who killed Ali, or anything else. Our love was the one that would remain constant and I would do anything to protect her from it all.


End file.
